First dates can be nerve-wracking. And if you are here looking for first date tips for women, then it is safe to assume you have worked yourself into a tizzy with dilemmas like what to expect on a first date, what to do on a first date with a guy, how to strike up a good first-date conversation, where to go on a first date, and what to wear.
Yes, we hear you. We also understand why you’re going into this overthinking spiral. Firsts are always special. Be it the first date or the first kiss or the first lovemaking session, every tiny detail of the experience remains etched in your mind. And when that great guy on whom you have been crushing on forever asks you out, you want to make a good first impression and turn that first date into a second date. Fortunately, we can help with that. Let’s delve into our roundup of first date rules you should follow to avoid any cringe-worthy moments.
15 Best First Date Tips For Women
Table of Contents
When you’re texting a guy for a date, you take your time coming up with witty and sassy replies to keep him interested. Even if that means waking up your best friend in the middle of the night to get them to help you with the replies. But, what happens when you go on that date and Google or a close friend cannot come to your rescue? Scary? That’s exactly what Angie, a 24-year-old lawyer, experienced before her first date with a guy she was crushing really hard on.
“At first, I was way too scared at just the idea of meeting this guy I’d already started falling for. What if I run out of things to say? What if my inner klutz appears and I fall flat on my face walking up to him? But once we met and we started clicking, I realized the entire onus of the conversation and date going well wasn’t on me. He put me at ease instantly, and once we got to talking, four hours went by in the blink of an eye,” she tells us.
Even though you’re one half of the equation, the way you conduct yourself on the date is still enough to influence its outcome. To make sure you don’t end up contributing to the disastrous experience, albeit unwittingly, we bring you these 15 best first date tips for women:
1. Know what to expect on a first date
If you expect all first dates to go smoothly, then you might be in for a surprise. First dates are about getting to know each other, so there will be awkward silences. You might even feel there’s no spark or no instant connection. There is also a good chance that you are both equally nervous, and to compensate for all that nervous energy, you may end up asking so many questions your date begins to feel like a job interview. To prevent that from happening, always remember that the idea is to have a good time and try to get to know each other better without venturing into potentially uncomfortable territory.
Realistic expectation setting on a first date is half the battle won. It is very rare that a person is smitten by their date, from day one. Looking for that instant spark or chemistry right off the bat will only lead to a lot of disappointment. Perhaps the best first date advice for women is to not expect to be swept off their feet. You want to go slow and make your decision with your feet firmly planted on the ground instead of off it. Connections take time to build and it is best not to try to hurry things along.
Related Reading: Your Guide To Planning The Perfect Coffee Date
2. Choose a location you’re comfortable with
Before you jump to what to do on a first date with a guy, you have another important decision to make—one that can greatly influence the outcome—the venue of the date. It’s vital to choose a location that you both are comfortable with so that the setting does not add to your anxiety or awkwardness. If you are wondering where to go on a first date, we have only one piece of advice for you—pick a public place. A restaurant, a museum, a shopping mall, a park—any venue that interests both of you is fine.
Going to a club is a little gray area. On one hand, clubs are just right for pulling off all kinds of flirtatious moves, like a little physical contact by leaning in close to whisper into your date’s ear. Or if you are a good dancer, then you can just let your body do the talking. On the other, clubs rarely give you the opportunity to get to know each other on a personal level. Try holding a proper conversation over the blaring music.
However, what a girl should not do on her first date is meet up with a person in a private setting. Best to avoid mi casa su casa arrangements, restaurants or bars that are part of a hotel, impromptu jungle walks or treks, and private parties. And any place from where it is difficult to get public transportation.
You must always have your exit strategy in place. If a guy keeps suggesting places that are secluded, then it is one of the first date red flags that this guy isn’t for you. If you’re going out for a meal and have food allergies or aversion, let your date know, so that you can finalize a place where these concerns don’t get in the way of your time together.
Related Reading: 21 Questions To Ask On A Second Date
3. Strike a balance between comfort and style
Of course, you’d want to dress up and look your best on a first date. That said, a bankable dating advice for women is not to wear anything too uncomfortable to walk, talk, eat, or breathe in easily. You may have a new pair of stunning stilettos sitting in your closet, and we get the temptation of wearing them on your first date. But you don’t want to risk dealing with a shoe bite on your first date. Similarly, wearing a dress so tight that you have to hold your breath throughout the evening will only add to the anxiety and nervousness you’re feeling.
First date etiquette also suggests you don’t want to get so comfortable that you end up wearing overalls or tracksuits and flip-flops. The aim is to find a balance between fashion and comfort and dress according to the location. For example, a formal floor-length gown for an evening in the opera house, or a pair of jeans and boots if you are heading to the petting zoo or bike rides. The ideal way to ace your first date look is to choose a dress that accentuates the best of you yet is light and breezy on the body.
4. Be on time
Of the many first date tips for women, we cannot stress this enough: be on time. Most women have this idea that being fashionably late is cool, well it’s not. Think about it. Would you want your date to keep you waiting? If not, then accord them the same courtesy.
Showing up on time is right at the top of the long list of first date rules. It’ll let your date know you’re not taking them for granted and that you value his/her time. If you’re late to the date, all that effort you put into figuring out where to go on a first date with a guy/girl won’t bear any fruit. If there is an emergency or you have a good reason for the delay, inform your date beforehand and reschedule the time so that you are on the same page.
5. Don’t obsess over your looks
Here’s what not to do on a first date with a guy: obsessing over your looks. Making the right first impression is very important, so it is understandable that you would like to look your best. However, all the preening and pruning should ideally be over before arriving for the date. You have limited time together, so make the most of it in trying to connect with the person you’re with.
Ask questions and show genuine interest instead of constantly checking the mirror wondering how your hair looks or if your lipstick is still in place or constantly pulling or fiddling with your dress. These are signs of low self-esteem.
Resist the temptation to rush to the restroom for repeated touch-ups. Definitely don’t ask your date if you look okay over and over again. This person is already on a date with you, meaning, they already fancy you. A strand of hair out of place is not going to make a world of a difference. While most men do like a woman who is well-groomed, vanity is a major turn-off for them too.
6. Make first date conversation flow
The only thing worse than having to answer or ask incessant first date questions is complete silence. So, one of the most useful first date tips for women is to make an effort to keep the conversation flowing. The trick is to keep your queries open-ended, so that your date has a chance to respond in detail, and then build upon it. It should not feel like a job interview.
Perhaps, share a funny incident or anecdote but don’t try too hard to be funny. The best first date advice for women is to converse as though you’re talking to a friend and try to take the edge off the situation.
Related Reading: What To Order On A First Date? 10 Ideas You Must Check Out
7. But don’t ask anything too personal
Any relationship coach will tell you politics, exes, religious beliefs, past relationship experiences, and family issues are not good choices for first-date conversations. These topics can hit a nerve and turn the whole vibe upside down. It’s dating etiquette 101 to be respectful to your date’s boundaries and comfort zone and stick to good conversation topics like favorite books, music, hobbies, and ambitions for the first few dates.
You might be thinking, talking about books, music and movies can only last you so long before you run out of questions to ask. And do these questions really tell you much about a person? Remember you’re still practically strangers to each other, so sensitive topics are off-limits.
However, there are many interesting questions you can ask that will give you a little insight into the person you are dating. What is your take on love? What is a place you always wanted to travel to? If you had all the resources that you needed, what would you do? The idea is to keep certain heavy topics out of your conversation, and keep your interaction as light, upbeat, and positive as possible.
8. Keep your hands off your phone
This is one of the first date rules you’ll thank us for later. A lot of us have a compulsive tendency to reach out for our phones every couple of minutes to check on social media accounts, email, and texts. However, this is poor dating etiquette and conveys a lack of genuine interest.
Phone-snubbing someone is always rude, and if you’re doing it on a date, no amount of first date tips and tricks you’re packing under your belt will help turn the experience around. Would you like to go on a second date with a person who has their head buried in their phone for the better part of the evening? Yeah, no one does. So, for a successful date, put away your phone and be present in the moment.
9. Flirting is a good idea
So, you’ve asked your date all the questions you had on your mental checklist. They have reciprocated with queries of their own. Now what? Remember this isn’t an interview but a date. And the first few dates are supposed to be all about having fun while getting to know each other. Adding a little flirtatious twist to your interactions is one of the good first date ideas, especially if you like the person and want things to progress.
Giving a compliment to the guy, using physical touch like touching the arm, or using body language to express your interest by leaning in when talking to them, a mischievous smile or a loaded statement are all first date tips for women that work like a charm in taking the mood to the next level. If you’ve been wondering whether first-date flirting is a good idea or not, we say go for it.
Related Reading: When A Guy Cancels A Date – 5 Common Scenarios And What You Should Text
10. Drink responsibly
What not to do on a first date with a guy, you wonder? Well, don’t get drunk. There are too many things that could go wrong. You could end up crying over your ex or a crush who didn’t like you back. You could end up hurling in front of your date, or worse on them. Or maybe you pass out and your date has to carry you home. You might also start dancing on tabletops and fall off. And then, of course, the most common side-effect of getting drunk: your brain-to-mouth filter stops working and now they know when you hit puberty.
There is no bigger turn-off than a person who cannot handle alcohol. A couple of drinks can help you loosen up and calm those nerves, especially if you two decided to meet up at a bar or someplace that serves alcohol. But go easy on the alcohol. Maybe don’t experiment with that huge L.I.I.T. on your first date, and stick to a drink you’re comfortable with.
Otherwise, the number of cringe-worthy moments will make you want to crawl under a table and die. Best you avoid that hangover too. One of the best first date rules for women is to know where to draw the line while you’re drinking. Somewhere before you begin to feel tipsy is probably a good place.
11. Always split the bill
Who should pay on a date? The question has become quite divisive—a lot like, pineapple on pizza. But hey, in the interest of gender equality that we so love to advocate for, there is only one correct answer—you go Dutch. For the uninitiated, that means splitting the bill. This isn’t the 1930s. Don’t expect the man to pick up the check.
The easiest way to do this is by picking up the check as soon as it arrives and paying your share. If your date insists on paying despite your earnest effort to split the bill, you should leave the tip at least. You should never expect your date to pay, and if need be, have a conversation about this so that your date is not jittery when you pick up a posh restaurant.
12. Want to be kissed? Let your date know
The most beautiful conversations are the ones that you have without speaking. When the date is going well and you two are really into each other, you are sure to feel the urge to kiss. There will be signs he wants to kiss you. There will come a moment when the conversation stops. You will look into each other’s eyes and you suddenly become very aware of how close he is standing. This is the perfect moment for a kiss.
Make eye contact, then look at his lips and look back into his eyes again. He will understand the cue and lean in for a kiss. Another way of letting him know is by touching him lightly or lingering in when you’re saying your goodbyes. You could even give them a peck on the cheek or a warm hug to let them know you’re open to a kiss. If they’re receptive enough, they’ll pick up on the hints. But if your date is clueless and you really want that first kiss, don’t hesitate to initiate it.
Related Reading: 21 First Date Topics To Impress And Engage Your Date!
13. Show genuine interest in his stories
Showing interest in your date’s stories can turn a good date into a great one. Ask open-ended questions that encourage him to share more about his life, hobbies, and interests. For instance, instead of the plain-old, “So, what do you do?”, you could say, “What’s the most exciting part of your job?” or “What’s something you’re passionate about?” This will give your date a chance to talk about something he is passionate about.
Another one of the vital first date tips for women is to ask follow-up questions. Let’s say your date shares that he recently took a cooking class. Instead of just responding with, “Oh, cool,” you could ask, “What was the dish that surprised you the most?” or “Have you always enjoyed cooking?”
This will make your date feel more comfortable sharing other aspects of himself. Making someone feel heard paves the way for a deeper connection. People naturally feel more at ease when they feel their thoughts and experiences matter to the other person. This, in turn, goes a long way in building rapport, creating comfort, and stimulating vulnerability early on in the connection.
14. Keep an open mind
If you’re wondering what not to do on a first date with a guy, here is a classic mistake you ought to steer clear off—dismissing your date as a romantic prospect just because he doesn’t check off every box on your list of what you want in a relationship. Give him a fair chance even if he doesn’t fit your idea of an ideal partner. Say, you’ve always ranked “being organized” as one of the important traits in a partner and you end up on a date with someone who is spontaneous and takes life as it comes.
Instead of dismissing the person altogether for one trait, give him a chance. Who knows you might find their spontaneity incredibly refreshing and fun. Keeping an open mind is a part of how to act on a first date because it shows that you’re flexible and easygoing, and keeps the vibe positive and relaxed.
15. End the date on a positive note
Ending the date on a positive note is basic dating etiquette. Regardless of how you feel, part of a friendly, respectful note. If you genuinely enjoyed the date and would want to see your date again, let him know with a promising but tentative, “I had a great time tonight; I’d love to do this again!” Remember that getting into the specifics of a second date right off the bat can make you come across as needy or clingy, and is typically unadvisable.
Alternatively, even if you didn’t feel a spark, show your appreciation by saying something like, “Thank you for a lovely evening; it was nice getting to know you.” The bottom line is that unless your date was a total disaster and the guy was one giant red flag, it’s best to keep things cordial, even if you aren’t looking for a follow-up.
Frequently Asked Questions
1. How should a girl act on a first date?
It is natural to be nervous on a first date, but there’s no reason to fret over it. Wear comfortable clothes and accessories, choose a public place to meet and avoid controversial topics like past relationships and toxic parents. Do not let anxiety get the better of you.
2. What are some things a girl should not do on a first date?
A girl should stay away from the phone, controversial topics and more drinks than she can handle. She should also avoid frequently checking up on how she looks.
3. Is it OK for a girl to pay on a first date?
A girl must offer to pay on a first date and she should tell her date beforehand that she believes in going Dutch. That way her date will not feel any pressure if she picks up a posh venue.
4. Should you kiss on a first date?
It depends entirely upon you. If you feel comfortable with your date and there are body language signs of attraction then you can initiate a kiss.
Key Pointers
- Be yourself and have a set of creative conversation topics and open-ended questions to keep the conversation flowing
- Wear something comfortable and choose a public location for the date
- Always be safe and make sure you have an exit strategy
- Have fun on your date
Final Thoughts
Dating is a game of chance, you just never know what you are going to get. The good news is there is a 40% chance that the first date leads to a second. With such great odds, a bit of conscious effort on your part is all it’s going to take to turn that much-anticipated meeting into a successful date. These first date tips for women will take the edge off the experience. To make the most of it, try to be yourself and focus on having a good time. Dating is a journey, not the destination. So enjoy the ride while you are at it.
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