6 mistakes women make in relationships and then cry their heart out

Expert Speak | November 27, 2017 | Expert Author Neha Anand , Pshycotherapist & Life Coach
Updated On: August 2, 2023

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You really wanted a spouse you had dreamed about. Finally, your dream comes true, and the relationship materialises. You succeed in getting the perfect man.

But slowly you start realising that your perfect man is no more perfect and it seems those sunny days are turning into dark nights full of high tides. You are unable to figure out any significant cause and most of the times end up blaming your partner.

It’s a universal truth that people are different and everybody cannot be compatible. Some relationships just blossom and some are bound to fail. Nothing can be done to change them. Some of them can’t be saved but many of them can, just by directing our insight inwards and seeing the potholes.

Let’s find out what are those mistakes which women commit in a relationship.

1. Stop acting like his mom

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In order to keep your spouse happy, you go all out to make him happy and satisfy him.

You cook for him, you do his laundry, you keep the place spick and span. You try to please him and serve everything on a platter. And you over pamper your partner like a baby, assuming he would like it all.

Suddenly, you start realising you are living his life and not yours. You wait for him to come home from work. It reaches a point that suddenly you feel distressed and burned out. That is the point you will reach, if you keep acting like his mom.

What you need to do is sit back and relax, stop being a robot for him. Let him come forward and ask you for things. Men sometimes like doing chores with their partners. Let that moment come. A man loves to have a soul mate who can complement him in every way. If you keep on acting like his mom, he will gradually lose all interest and might shift his attention to someone else.

2. Trying to change your partner

When women make it a point that if their partner loves them they can at least change themselves “So what? it’s not a big deal..!!” But don’t forget you have loved him for what he is and trying to change him can lead to resentment. When you start becoming critical of your spouse they feel you don’t really love them. For example, you don’t like the shirt he is wearing, the way he carries himself, find defects in his personality, etc. This generally happens when you stop taking stock of your shortcomings and just notice flaws in him. Also, as a result he will also become critical of you and start seeing the negative side of you.

Now, here you have to sit down and weigh your own shortcomings and what he lacks too.

Sit down and discuss it. If you really want him, this crisis can be overcome.

3. Expecting your partner to be a mind reader

Another blatant blunder is expecting your partner to read your mind and know what you want. This is the most serious mistake women make in a relationship. Never assume that your partner has got a super power or magic trick that he can read what you feel or want. It’s always better that you communicate very openly and talk your heart. Without open communication no relationship can flourish. Although effective communication is a skill, learning it is worth it to save your relationship.

4. Over analysing

Why is he not responding? He has no time for me, He doesn’t love me anymore or what made him behave in this way?

Relax girl!! You are taking it too forward and renting too much of space to garbage. Women tend to replay every single thing over and over again. Sometimes making mountains out of nothing. It is unhealthy and non productive for your relationship. It’s better that you ask instead of playing a mental movie inside your head. Get over this habit as soon as possible. Stop playing emotional detective.

5. Lack of communication

Take a situation where you go out for dinner. You are talking and he is just not there. He is unresponsive or just not listening. It is one-way communication.

You feel unwanted and have a bad time with him. If this kind of situation keeps repeating, do not start thinking about the reasons for it on your own. TALK to him. He may be feeling troubled at work. Maybe the new boss is the cause of it. Maybe he is in financial trouble or a thousand other reasons. Sitting down and discussing his problem may help him to start trusting you.

He would find you to be the person who he can talk with and discuss things. When time comes for intimate conversation, guys clam up, offer a few grunts and expect women to magically understand what’s going on. A relationship in which there is understanding and trust lasts forever.

6. Nagging

Your man comes back late from his job. This can be due to be an additional load upon him or maybe he is working hard for his promotion. You start to suspect him and become paranoid. Start calling him when he is busy or just in the middle of a meeting.

Even at home the cookie starts to crumble as he becomes detached due to his feeling burnt out.

You reason that he is having an affair.

The home front also goes bad as you start confronting him about extramarital affairs without any rhyme or reason.

The best thing for you is to give him some space and stop nagging for everything. Remember, domination and over possessiveness is not love, it is either abuse or insecurity.

Don’t forget this lecture as soon as you walk out from here.

Don’t waste your life and relationships by pondering about what, how and where your spouse is and what he is doing.

Trust Breeds Trust and Faith Breeds Faith.

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About The Author

Neha Anand

Neha Anand is Founder Director, Bodhitree India- a one stop center for Mental health and Wellbeing., Psychotherapist, Psychological Counsellor, Parent coach, NLP and Hypnotherapy Master practitioner, Advanced life coach, practitioner Transactional Analysis, Mindfullness Meditation trainer, Emotional Intelligence Practitioner and Social activist with over 18 years of practice. She is the Chief Consultant advisor at Sexual Harassment Committee at SPORTS AUTHORITY OF INDIA,STATE MENTAL HEALTH ADVICATE BY U.P Government and Unicef. She has also been a prominent U.P police trainer and trained thousands of Gazetted officers across 72 districts of Uttar Pradesh. Being a Psychologist and a successful entrepreneur Neha felt that there is a dire need of psychological help in rural areas for which started her NGO Meri Pehchaan Society and as President of “Meri Pehchaan Society” she and her team is majorly working on women and child and adolescent Mental/Psychological wellbeing. She has bagged various Awards which can’t be counted on fingers. Just in 2018 she has bagged more than 12 Awards .She Is Felicitated by Women Achievers Award By FICCI FLO 2018 and also Felicitated by Dr.Rita Bahuguna Joshi,Cabinet Minister Women and child welfare, In SWAYAMSIDHHA Award 2018 for her extensive work on Mental and psychological health. Also bagged Shan-e-Hindustan Award in Kanpur and Awarded by Shri Brajendra Pathak Cabinet Minister, as Legends 2018 Award in October 2018.She has been Felicitated at various places from schools to Universities from time to time. Recent Awards and Felicitations are as follows- 1.Ficci Flo Women Achievers Award 2018 felicitated by Mr.Madhur Bhandarkar famous Bollywood director. 2.Shan-e-Hindustan Award 3.Swayamsidhha Finalist 2018 felicited by Dr.Rita Bahuguna 4.Women of Substance 2018 Lucknow Ladies Association 5.Iconic personality Award 2018 6.Women of excellence 2019 by Nutriwell India and All ladies league 7.Iconic Personality Award 2019 by mallika-e-Awadh 8.Execellence Award 2019 felicitated by Mrs.Swati singh,Cabinet Minister 9.Awadh Ratna Award 2019 10. Stri Award 2016 11. I - Inspiration Award 2021 felicitated by Cabinet Minister Swati Singh. 12.Nari Shakti Samman by District Administration 13. Shakti Sewa Samman by State MENTAL Health Helpline U.P 14.Womania – ChangeMaker 2021 15. Awadh Ratna Samman 2022 by TV bhumika Gurung 16.National Achievement Award 2023 felicitated by TV actress Deepika Singh. 17.I- Inspiration Award 2023 by Amar Ujala and We care Foundation, felicitated by Baby Rani Maurya Minister of Child development and Nutrition, Uttar Pradesh. 18. Woman Icon Award by Radio City and Dainik Jagaran, July 2023. 19.Awadh Ratna Samman 2024 by Garv Foundation, Mallika-e-Awadh. 1.Organised first Walkathon on Mental health and children with special needs in Lucknow. Her extensive clientele considers her to be much more than that. Her unique and extraordinary approach to modify human behaviour has redefined. Its practice as a powerful form of spiritual teaching, Emotional and cognitive healing, and Behaviour modification. She has been trained under the legendary Dr. David (UK) and Dr.A. Doris (Germany) in the field of NLP and Emotional Intelligence. She completed her Mindfulness Training from Internationally prestigious British Mindfullness Society. She has worked with all ages groups in order to give them adequate psychological guidance as a facilitator. She has been taking behaviour trainings and providing adequate training support to UP police and Dial100.She has practiced Hypnotherapy full-time, incorporating her considerable background in hypnosis, Transactional Analysis Mindfulness based stress reduction meditation, spirituality, healing, mind/body exploration, psychological counselling and life coaching. She has trained more than 5000 police personnel across 75 districts of UP including Anti Romeo squad and trained more than 3000 students and youth. She is a regular face on Door darshan, Etv, India watch, Live Today etc. For television live talks, panel discussions and life style events. She has written several articles in leading newspapers and given regular talks on Radio city, Fever FM and AIR. In recognition of her significant and strong leadership in psychology as a consultant, Trainer practitioner, mentor, and Activist Neha Anand has demonstrated a strong commitment towards our society. She has made noteworthy contributions in order to create a Society which is free from psychological issues/ailments. Neha’s career is highlighted by being the first in many roles and her work on promoting and creating awareness for Mental wellbeing and behavioural health in Uttar Pradesh; her advocacy and community work promoting Women and emotional wellbeing; along with her mentoring and professional interactions are widely acclaimed. She has always been a strong pillar for women power line 1090 since the day of its conception. She is the only female who has trained over 5000 police personnel across 75 districts of Uttar Pradesh single handed and provided Behavioural training to Anti Romeo Squad introduced by Honourable Chief Minister of Uttar Pradesh Shri Adityanath Yogi .Being a Feminist she has conducted awareness sessions for over 2500 young girls in order to empower them and trained power Angels of 1090.She has been awarded and praised by DGP and ADJLO and ADG Neera Rawat and shri Navniet sekera for her major contribution for her trainings and consultancy to victims. She is an outstanding advocate with a record of impressive accomplishments. She is the epitome of an emerging and young leader for women.