Am I the toxic one in the relationship? Quiz

Many of us find ourselves in relationships that feel strained or unhealthy. It’s natural to wonder if you’re the one bringing the negativity to the table. Before you jump down the rabbit hole of “how toxic am I” searches and endless “am I the problem quizzes,” take a deep breath.

This isn’t a “how toxic are you” quiz designed to shame you. This is a chance for some self-awareness. Created by a clinical psychologist with a master’s degree in the field, this 10-question quiz will help you see if there is something you’re doing that is dooming your relationship.

Often we do things without any bad intentions, we simply don’t realize the negative impact of our actions. This is why nobody is here to blame you for any toxic behaviors you might be displaying. Rather, we’re here to help you rectify them. Are you a good communicator? Do you prioritize your partner’s feelings? This quiz will ask you questions that might be hard for you to answer. Just remember to be honest.

Related Quiz: Toxic Marriage Quiz

Related Quiz: Am I Emotionally Unavailable? Quiz

Questions

1. How often do you find yourself criticizing your partner’s actions or decisions?

• Rarely or never
• Occasionally
• Frequently

2. When conflicts arise, how do you typically react?

• I try to communicate calmly and find a resolution.
• I might get upset, but I usually try to talk things through.
• I tend to get angry or defensive, and I might say hurtful things.

3. Do you often feel the need to control what your partner does or who they spend time with?

• No, I trust my partner and respect their independence.
• Sometimes, but I try to give them space.
• Yes, I feel anxious or jealous when they’re not with me.

4. How do you handle disagreements in the relationship?

• I listen to my partner’s perspective and try to understand their point of view.
• I might argue, but I ultimately want to find a compromise.
• I tend to dominate the conversation or shut down their opinions.

5. Have you ever guilt-tripped your partner into doing something they didn’t want to do?

• No, I respect their boundaries.
• Maybe unintentionally, but I try to avoid it.
• Yes, I’ve used guilt or manipulation to get my way.

6. Do you apologize when you’ve hurt your partner’s feelings?

• Yes, I acknowledge my mistakes and try to make amends.
• Sometimes, but I find it hard to admit when I’m wrong.
• No, I don’t think I’ve done anything wrong.

7. How do you handle your partner’s achievements or successes?

• I’m genuinely happy for them and celebrate their accomplishments.
• I might feel a twinge of jealousy, but I try to be supportive.
• I feel resentful or envious, and I downplay their achievements.

8. Are you able to give your partner space and independence?

• Yes, I understand the importance of having individual interests and activities. – 1
• Sometimes, but I struggle with feeling insecure when they’re not around. – 2
• No, I prefer to spend all my time with them and get upset when they want time alone. – 3

9. How do you react when your partner spends time with friends or family without you?

• I’m happy they’re spending time with loved ones and encourage it.
• I might feel a little lonely, but I trust them and their relationships.
• I feel neglected or abandoned, and I may express resentment or anger.

10. Have you ever made your partner feel guilty for prioritizing their own needs or goals?

• No, I believe it’s important for both of us to pursue our dreams.
• Maybe unintentionally, but I try to be supportive.
• Yes, I’ve made them feel guilty for not putting me first.

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