First dates can be tricky to plan given that you are yet to get to know each other’s preferences. Is your date more of a fine dining person or a stroll-in-the-garden kind? The more you think about it, the harder it can get to plan the ideal first date. That’s why the most complex plans are best left for the second date. To get things off the ground, who can say no to chatting over a relaxing cup of mocha on a coffee date?
It is easy to figure out how to ask for coffee date as it is a casual activity and not very formal. A cute cafe with a romantic ambiance and the best coffee in town is the perfect way to lay the foundation for that special connection you’re hoping to build. Need more convincing that a romantic coffee date is your best bet for that nerve-racking first meeting? Read on!
What Does A Coffee Date Mean?
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A coffee date is hardly an alien concept. In fact, coffee shop dates are the most socially acceptable way of meeting someone, spending time with that person, and keeping a nice conversation going to get to know them better. These meetings don’t have to be necessarily romantic in nature. It can happen between a parent and a child, between two or a group of friends catching up, or between colleagues exchanging insights.
At the same time, it remains the preferred choice for meeting a romantic interest or a romantic partner for people across all generations. You typically choose an old-school or a fancy cafe as the venue. The delicacies range from hot and cold beverages to a number of baked goods. The relaxing, informal ambiance helps people get comfortable around each other and the conversations flow spontaneously!
10 Advantages Of A Coffee Date For A First Meeting
We’ll be covering everything from coffee date outfit ideas to the best possible time for it to make sure you make the most of this experience. But first, let’s talk about why getting a cup of coffee is an ideal first date idea. The aroma of fresh coffee and a cute little dessert to go with it screams romance, doesn’t it? Besides, a quiet setting helps when you’re getting to know someone.
Related Reading: 55+ Flirty First Date Questions | Jaw-Dropping List of 2023
You wouldn’t want to spend your first date in a busy area or at a bar with such loud music that you have to scream into each other’s ear to make conversation. That’s why coffee shops make an ideal setting for a first date with just the right amount of romantic energy, not too formal or too basic. Here are some other reasons why a coffee shop date is the perfect idea to kick things off with a romantic interest:
1. A great way to break the ice
Meeting someone new is not always easy for everyone. The idea of opening up to a complete stranger can be intimidating and we understand that. While this may be irrelevant for an extrovert, a shy, introverted, or socially awkward person would love to spend the first few minutes with someone new discussing something mundane with a cup of coffee, so that the spotlight is not on them.
Bonding over your shared love for coffee can be a good ice-breaker that can truly take the pressure off. If you typically find yourself a little lost on first dates, here is how meeting over coffee can help:
- A simple meet for coffee helps you with initial small talk, as you go through the menu to place your order
- It can get you talking about your preferred blend of brews, which can be an easy and comforting topic of conversation
- If you find the right moment, you can drop a coffee joke to make your date laugh like: “What do you call it when someone steals your coffee?” “Mugging!”
- If things go well, you can click a few pictures for those cute coffee dates posts on Instagram
Related Reading: First Date Nerves – 13 Tips To Help You Ace It
2. It is not expensive
If you’re unsure of the person you’re meeting on this date, grabbing a coffee and some biscotti would be kinder on your pocket than a fancy fine-dining experience. Taking someone out to a fancy dinner when you don’t even know if you’ll see them again sounds a little unrealistic and impractical. It’s good to date casually at first, at least until you see a person in your future.
There are plenty of cafes with cute and aesthetic ambiance and pocket-friendly menus, so make the most of them while you’re still just meeting people to see how things pan out. At the same time, you need to make sure that your date feels comfortable and for that, you need to choose the venues carefully. Research, research, research (but don’t use it as an excuse to procrastinate on fixing a date).
Related Reading: 25 Free Date Ideas for Couple | Cute, Fun, Romantic Dates You Must Try
3. It helps you discover something about their personality
They say, “Don’t judge a book by its cover”, but that doesn’t mean you can’t judge your date by their coffee order. Yes, what your date chooses to order can give away a lot about their personality. Curious about what your date’s coffee order tells you about them?
- Black coffee: Does your date order a black coffee? Well, those are the ones who would rather stay up for work than stay up for a party in Vegas. They’re determined and driven with a sense of responsibility. They know exactly what they want and are not afraid to go after it. A person who enjoys black coffee can make a great work colleague, but a partner? Better watch out!
- Latte: Did you hear them order a Cream and Sugar or a Chai Latte? They’re what you can call an ‘old soul’. They love the simple things in life and wish to keep it that way too. Not worldly-wise, they don’t care about the size of your wallet or the brand of your car. They’re keepers, fellas!
- Frappuccino: A frappuccino-lover is a wild heart! If your date indulges in a drink like that, you’ve found a mate that seeks adventures. They want to skip the whole awkwardness and get out there to do something fun. Your next date better be a little exciting, or you’ll be going home alone.
Related Reading: What To Order On A First Date? 10 Ideas You Must Check Out
4. It doesn’t build up a lot of expectation
The best part about coffee dates is the stress-free nature of these meetings. Let me explain. If you plan a highly elaborate romantic date that involves picking up and seeing your date off at home, a full-course meal, and perhaps some wine in a dreamy restaurant, it will automatically build up a lot of expectation.
On the other hand, a coffee shop date is a great way of starting slow and moving toward something better. Just figure out how to ask for coffee date and then see where it takes you. Ask for a second date if you wish or don’t call back – no pressure!
Related Reading: How To Impress A Girl On A First Date
5. It is casual
Are you one of those people who constantly ask their best friends about the right outfit to wear on a date? Or does the whole concept of dolling up for a guy or looking absolutely prim and proper for meeting a woman in a public space seem ancient and hysterical to you? Either way, meeting your date over coffee is the simplest way to avoid the drama.
If you’re still wondering about what to wear on a coffee date, allow us to help you. The ‘right’ coffee date outfit does not exist. You read that right. The best thing about this kind of date is the minimal effort that goes into planning it. Just put on something that suits your personality and get creative with some light accessorizing – we’re sure you’ll look great!
Ideas for women:
- You could strap on your regular jeans and a cute top with a fancy neckline and you’re be good to go
- A cute little dress is also ideal as long as it’s something you’d be comfortable in
- Linen pant suits and heels are great if you are meeting someone on a weekday before or after work
- Try knit sweaters or long coats paired with jeans and boots for a cozy winter date
Ideas for men:
- Anyone would look dapper in a short-sleeved shirt tucked in casual trousers or jeans
- Round neck T-shirt with joggers or jeans looks just fine for a casual date
- Throw a blazer on if you want to go for something a little dressy
6. It need not be too elaborate
It’s always best to prepare for the worst that can happen on a first date. It is highly likely that your vibes don’t match and your date may keep going on and on about things you couldn’t care less about. If you’re anything like me, being on a date with someone who talks about pineapples on their pizza for a good half an hour would have you trying to suppress about 30 yawns.
Related Reading: 15 Useful Double Date Tips To Have A Jolly Good Time
If you’re on a fancy first date that entails fine dining or something equally elaborate, dating etiquette would demand that you sit through the entire meal/experience – which can be excruciating if the other person is getting on your nerves. That’s exactly why coffee dates make the best first dates. Coffee is easy to grab, quick to get over with, and gives you a chance to cook up an excuse and run if the date is a snoozefest.
7. You can order more than one without getting drunk
If the date pans out better than you’d hoped, you can always order another cuppa and spend some more quality time with your date. Following the same logic a pub or a bar on a first date isn’t a smart decision and that’s where a coffee date beats other ideas to the punch. Here’s why:
- First of all, you wouldn’t want the date to be a blur, do you? You’d want to remember what this person’s told you about themselves so that you could make up your mind about meeting them a second time
- You also want to be sober in your interactions on a first date. It’s not wise to show your drunk alter ego to a stranger on the very first meeting! You want this to be a successful date, not a sob fest about your ex, am I right?
Related Reading: Getting Drunk on Dates vs Staying Sober: What’s Better?
8. You can fit it in any time of the day
“Are you free for coffee tomorrow?” “Yes, does 12 work for you?” And that’s how easily this date can be fixed. If you get asked out on a coffee date, you don’t need any major changes to your schedule to fit it in. Getting to know someone over a quick coffee has its own benefits:
- You can drink coffee any time of the day
- You can squeeze this date in the middle of work if you are a busy bee who barely gets time for a social life
- No risk of hangovers if you have a big day ahead of you
- This date would not affect your schedule as cafe dates are usually short and cute
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9. Not sure whether it is a date? Meet up for coffee
Mixed signals from the one you have feelings for can be pretty tough and also builds up a little drama in your head. You don’t want to be wasting your time and energy on a person who probably just considers you a friend. If you’re unsure about your romantic prospects with a person you’ve been crushing on, the best place to meet them would be a cafe. By the time you say your goodbyes, you will probably have a better idea about where you stand with them – that too, without the awkwardness of being on a date with someone who isn’t interested in you.
10. It might lead to something romantic!
A coffee date may be casual but it doesn’t have to end there. If you end up enjoying their vibe and have a great time talking with them, you can always stay longer for another activity. Maybe you go on a romantic walk later, watch the sunset together, or grab a bite to eat. A meet for coffee can always lead to one of the best first dates of your life.
Related Reading: 20 At-Home Date Night Ideas For Couples – Romantic Date Ideas
Things To Consider When Planning A Coffee Date
Surely, the advantages mentioned above have convinced you to opt for a coffee date when meeting them for the first time. You ask them out on a coffee date, they say yes. Sounds simple, right? It is. But there are a few coffee date tips to keep in mind when planning a date.
1. Clarify the ‘date’ part
A coffee meet is a casual activity and isn’t limited to romantic relationships. It can also be planned platonically between friends, coworkers, or for business purposes. So, when you ask a person out, or vice versa, make it clear that it is a romantic date.
You could make it straightforward, for example, “Just so we are on the same page, this is a date, right?” Or if you want to be charming, you can say something flirty like, “I can’t believe a pretty girl like you is single, I hope I will get to change that😉”
Related Reading: Is It A Date Or Are You Just Hanging Out? 17 Helpful Tips To Know
2. Pick the right location
Picking the right location is important as it helps you set the right vibe for your date. Here are some things you should consider when picking the place:
- Proximity: Choose a place that is close and convenient to reach for both of you
- Avoid busy cafes – For a first date, opt for a quieter environment so that the conversation flows better. But at the same time, don’t choose something too desolate as safety is a major concern on first dates
- Consider your date’s interest – if they are a book enthusiast, a book cafe will be the perfect choice, while a cat cafe will be great for pet lovers
3. Choose an appropriate time
This would of course depend largely on both your schedules and if you’re going on a weekday or the weekend. But generally, mornings and afternoons are better suited for coffee dates because of the caffeine. Also, if you decide to meet some time after lunch, it gives you the window to further plan something for the evening if the date goes well.
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4. Duration
Coffee dates can last from a half an hour to 3-4 hours even. If you don’t feel a chemistry with the person, you would want to leave as soon as you finish your coffee, but if conversation flows easily, you won’t even notice the time flying by. In most cases, an hour or two is sufficient time for a coffee date and if you don’t feel like leaving, you can always grab a bite to eat or hit a bar, depending on the time and mood.
5. Outfit
On a first date, you may feel like going all out to impress your date. But keep in mind that a coffee date is a casual activity. So you may not want to wear something too fancy or over-the-top. Here are some coffee date outfit suggestions that you can choose from depending on your style.
- Cute top with a long skirt
- A flowy summer dress
- A nice sweater paired with trousers/jeans
Related Reading: 10 Outfits For First Date – What To Wear On a First Date [Expert Advice]
6. Prepare Some Topics Ahead of Time
A coffee date is primarily centered around conversation without any major distractions. So, you want to run out of things to talk about and sit in awkward silence. But don’t worry, you don’t need to plan out the whole conversation. Once you start talking and feel chemistry with the person, the conservation will flow smoothly. However, you can brainstorm some conversation starters ahead of time to start things off. These topics can include:
- Professional life
- Hobbies
- Interests
- Life goals
- Childhood stories
7. Have an exit strategy
Unlike a dinner date, a coffee date is not as formal, and thus, easier to leave. In case, the date starts feeling unpleasant or uncomfortable for any reason, you can, and should, leave. And if you’re anything like me, you have trouble coming up with excuses on the spot. So, it’s handy to prepare one beforehand. It could be anything simple, like:
- Sorry, my friend is visiting the town today so I gotta go.
- It was fun meeting you but I have to go run an errand
- I had a great time but I must leave now to make it to an appointment
Related Reading: How To Run Away From A Bad Date
Coffee Date Etiquette: Things To Keep In Mind
From overdressing for a casual date to spilling a beverage, dates can go wrong in a number of ways. But certainly not on our watch. Whether you’re going on a coffee date with your boyfriend/girlfriend or a Tinder match you are meeting for the first time, we have some great coffee date tips to help you set sail smoothly.
And tip number one is, being casual on a romantic coffee date is good, but don’t get so comfortable that your laid-back attitude is mistaken for a lack of interest. No one fancies a lazy lay-about! So, if you get asked out on a coffee date or you are planning to spend this Saturday afternoon grabbing coffee with a date, we want to make sure you ace it!
1. Be on time
Always be on time on your first dates to make the right impression. In fact, be a little early so that you can find a good table, settle in, and go through the menu to decide your order. It also gives you time to relax and calm down those first date jitters.
2. Be polite to the staff
Kindness and politeness are very attractive traits. And you wouldn’t wanna ruin the vibe of your date by getting upset or angry. In fact, this advice isn’t limited to first dates. You should always try to be polite to the staff regardless of the occasion and the company.
3. Offer to pay for the drinks
Regardless of your gender, offer to pay for the drinks. It shows that you are generous and open minded. Also, it indicates that you’re actually interested in the person and did not come only for the free coffee.
Related Reading: Who Should Pay On A Date – Men or Women?
4. Keep your phone aside
This is one of the basic dating etiquettes. You’ve come on the date to spend time with the person and get to know them better. So turn off your phone, and be fully engaged in the conversation. Otherwise, what even is the point of asking them out?
5. Don’t spend too much time deciding your order
It’s awfully tardy to spend a lot of time placing your coffee order. If you’re a coffee aficionado or the cafe you’ve chosen is your regular haunt, just go with your go-to beverage. But don’t make the mistake of ordering on your date’s behalf. On the other hand, if you’re not much of a coffee person, and the first-date nerves are making it harder for you to make up your mind, as your date for recommendations (if they’ve been to the cafe before), otherwise ask the server. Whatever you do, don’t let the ordering process eclipse your date.
FAQs
1. How to ask for a coffee date?
Don’t put so much pressure on yourself. It’s only coffee. Be spontaneous and ask them directly, “Would you like to grab a coffee sometime?”, “Can I buy you a coffee? I know a nice little place down the street”. We are sure it will go in your favor!
2. How long should a coffee date last?
Ideally, it should go on for around an hour. But we can’t decide on a specific duration for your date. It completely depends on how the date goes if it is in fact your first meeting. If they are super dull, you can cut it short to one coffee and leave in 20-30 minutes. If you notice some chemistry building, you may want to extend it to a post-coffee stroll around the block.
3. Do you kiss on a coffee date?
Only if you are attracted to this person and feel there is a real connection. That’s the best part about a coffee date, no pressure of following the dating rules. But for a first date, we would go so far as a light peck on the cheek or a soft kiss – don’t French it up.
Key Pointers
- Meeting someone for the first time over coffee helps you break the ice and get to know the person better
- It is an inexpensive date idea, which can be an added benefit if you aren’t sure about seeing this person again
- No pressure of getting drunk on a first date or getting the outfit right
- You can cut short or extend the date depending on how it goes
- It might actually lead to something meaningful if you and your date totally hit it off
To Sum Up
A coffee date is a great first date idea if you’re looking for something casual or low-key. It also works well for people that are shy or often feel the first date jitters. Remember to be yourself and stay confident and you’ll certainly have a wonderful opportunity to up the caffeinated charm while on a cozy, cafe date!
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