Love is our highest and most natural state. Love is our most cardinal need as a human – to be wanted, to be desired, to be longed for, to pine for someone, to desire someone. And when relationships break and we are left with only ourselves and our shadows, what we miss the most is that feeling of being in love.

You miss someone to talk to and share your heart and soul.

You miss that feeling of wind beneath your wings ‘coz someone loves you

You miss someone whispering sweet nothings into your ears

You miss smiling in the middle of work for some memory has knocked at your door.

You miss the long, warm hugs.

You miss the warmth of a body next to you in bed

You miss how you were held when you felt low and lonely

You miss the way someone smiled at you

You miss having a hand to hold

You miss having lips to kiss

You miss when you believed this love would last forever; you miss that

The naked truth is, you just miss love.

You miss the peaks you achieved and how high you felt when you were in love. You miss being not scared to face any storm in your life, and being fearless because you were loved. You miss being so engrossed and wrapped in someone’s life that you did not have to worry or get anxious of your own life – because your life was connected to and melded with another life.

You miss that feeling of warmth and feeling safe with someone.

Related Reading: 25 Motivating Divorce Quotes to Help You Move On

You miss the life you had and how everything in your life revolved around someone else’s life.

But do not mistake all this missing and loneliness and the empty feeling for the absence of your ex.

He’s not that guy

You do not know that person anymore – the one you were in love with. He is gone from your life, your dreams and thoughts now. He is not the man you now know – what he likes, what he wears, what makes him smile, what are his life’s aspirations or dreams – you know zilch about him. He is gone.
This black hole, this void that you feel is just the absence of this feeling of love, of being comfortable in your skin with another being; of not being afraid to hide and of letting your demons out without the fear of being judged. You miss having someone to fall back on, you miss having someone to trust; you miss having unconditional faith in someone, someone to adore and laugh with till you crack up.

You pine for love

You long to feel needed and wanted.

You yearn to be adored.

And it’s perfectly natural to want to be in love again. Just don’t mistake that longing for missing someone from your past. Don’t mistake that void, for not having your ex anymore.

You miss love. Not him.

Related Reading: 6 Reasons Why Being Single Is Better Than Being In A Relationship

How Can I Ensure My Next Relationship Is Healthy And Fulfilling?

• Heal from your past: Take time to process your previous relationship and any lingering emotional baggage. Understand what went wrong and what you want to avoid in the future.
• Know yourself: Reflect on your values, needs, and boundaries. Understanding yourself will help you identify a compatible partner and communicate your expectations clearly.
• Choose wisely: Don’t rush into a new relationship. Take time to get to know someone before committing. Look for someone who shares your values, respects your boundaries, and supports your goals.
• Communicate openly and honestly: Effective communication is crucial for a healthy relationship. Express your feelings, needs, and concerns openly and listen actively to your partner.
• Set healthy boundaries: Establish clear boundaries from the beginning. These boundaries will help protect your emotional well-being and ensure both partners feel respected and valued.
• Prioritize mutual respect: Treat your partner with kindness, compassion, and consideration. Avoid criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling, which can damage the relationship.
• Maintain independence: While it’s important to share experiences and support each other, maintaining your own identity and interests is vital for a healthy relationship.
• Practice forgiveness: Everyone makes mistakes. Be willing to forgive your partner and yourself, and learn from those mistakes to grow stronger together.
• Seek professional help if needed: If you’re struggling with past traumas, insecurities, or communication issues, consider couples counseling or therapy to develop healthy relationship skills.

Related Reading: 17 Telling Signs You Might Be Single Forever – And Why It’s Not Bad News

Remember, building a fulfilling relationship takes time and effort. By prioritizing self-awareness, communication, and mutual respect, you can create a lasting and loving partnership.

Final Thoughts

Breakups can be painful, even when we know they’re for the best. It’s okay to miss the feeling of being in love, but remember that it’s not necessarily your ex that you’re longing for. Embrace the opportunity to heal, grow, and rediscover yourself. When the time is right, love will find you again, and this time, it might be even better than you imagined. Contact us today to schedule your counseling session.

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