Let’s get straight to the point – you are here because you want fake reasons to break up with someone. We are not asking any questions. Breaking up is tough as it is and when you don’t have a concrete reason, it can be a living nightmare.
Here’s the thing – relationships are not black and white. We imagine that it’d take something earth-shattering and monumental to drive a wedge between two partners but that’s not always the case. Sometimes, you may not have a solid reason to break up with a nice guy or girl except that it doesn’t feel right or your heart’s not in it anymore. Or maybe you don’t feel the chemistry, maybe you are appalled by their hygiene. Whatever the reason, we’ve got your back with this list of perfectly valid excuses to break up with someone.
12 Perfectly Valid Excuses To Break Up With Someone
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Couples sometimes split up because they are no longer getting along or because they are just tired of one another. If you find yourself in a situation where you want to leave but can’t come up with a good reason to do so, know that you don’t have to stay in a relationship that no longer brings you joy. If you cannot think of a genuine reason, you can always use a fake reason to break up with someone. Use these breakup excuses that work well in every situation:
1. It’s not you, it’s me
This is probably the oldest trick in the book but it works. Sure, some people regard it as one of the worst breakup excuses but we still think it works. Absolving the other person of all wrongdoing and admitting that “it’s not you, it’s me” is the greatest way to end a relationship.
It is a subtle way of telling your partner that your feelings for them have changed, which makes it one of the best excuses to break up with someone. Here’s how you can use this fake reason to break up with someone in real life:
- I’m sorry, I can’t give you what you want in this relationship. It’s not you, it’s my inability to meet your expectations
- The relationship is going too fast. It’s not you but it’s me who is not ready for this pace right now
- It’s best for both of us if we go our separate ways. It’s not about you, I need to work on myself alone
Related Reading: How To Break Up With Someone You Live With – Expert-Backed Tips
2. We don’t want the same things anymore
When it comes to fake reasons to break up with someone, this is one of the best! This is a nice way of saying that you and I don’t get along anymore. However, you are communicating to your partner that you cannot be together because you are not on the same page. And you wouldn’t want them to completely alter their goals for you. This is one of the excuses to break up with someone nicely if you would still want them to be in your life as a friend.
3. I’m not ready to get married yet
Commitment issues shouldn’t be glorified or stereotyped. But hey, you’re looking for excuses to break up with someone, right? This one works like magic in a situation where one partner wants to completely avoid marriage while the wants to get married after dating for a specific amount of time.
You can break up with her/him by saying that you don’t plan to marry anyone else for a while. This will undoubtedly make your partner think about the future of the relationship, and if you stick to your stance against marriage, they will inevitably feel the need to end the relationship.
Not sure how to use this fake reason to break up with someone? You can say something like:
- I’m not sure I believe in the institution of marriage at this stage in my life
- Married life does not appeal to me and you deserve someone who can help you build a happy marriage
- At this point in my life, I’m not prepared to get married and I don’t want you to wait until I’m ready
4. Our zodiac signs are not compatible
This is one of the breakup excuses girls use when they don’t want to tell the guy how intolerable he is on his face. Men can also use this breakup excuse to get out of a boring relationship. For those who believe in zodiac sign compatibility, this will be a huge deal. And for your partner who doesn’t believe in zodiacs, it would be good riddance because they wouldn’t want to be with someone who predicts their life based on zodiacs. Either way, it’s a win-win for you.
Matthew, 22, recently broke up with his girlfriend. Here’s what he has to say: “It was just not working out. She was so boring and I didn’t know how to tell her that. Luckily, she believed that zodiac compatibility was a real thing. So, all it took was for me to say our zodiac signs are incompatible. Trust me, this is one of the best excuses to break up with someone.”
5. You deserve more
What are the excuses to break up with someone who won’t take a hint? Just tell them you are not good enough for them. By saying this, you are putting the other person on a pedestal and telling them, “Hey, you are the most amazing human being on earth and I’m just a simple peasant. I can never give you the universe that you deserve and hence, I would rather leave you alone so you can pursue the quest of finding the greatness that you truly deserve!”
Okay, maybe it won’t be this dramatic, but the point is that this is one of the most perfect reasons to break up with a nice guy or girl.
Related Reading: 10 Tried And Tested Ways To Make Your Girlfriend Leave You
6. I love you too much and it is scary to me
I know this sounds like the worst breakup excuse ever but it works. Nobody wants to be surrounded by someone who would suffocate them in a relationship because it’s a huge red flag. Hence, telling your partner that emotions are too overpowering and you just don’t know how to deal with them yet, is according to us, a perfectly valid fake reason to break up with someone. When using this excuse, say something along the lines of:
- The emotions I feel for you scare me because I don’t know how to deal with them and it is affecting me a lot
- This love is so overpowering, I can’t focus on anything else in my life and that is not healthy for both of us
7. This relationship is suffocating me
This breakup excuse puts the onus of the breakup on the person being dumped and can be tough to hear because what you are saying is that your partner is being obessesive and clingy. But if you have no reason to break up and are still wondering what are the excuses for breaking up, it can come to the rescue. Your partner wouldn’t want you to feel claustrophobic in the relationship and hence would consider this to be a perfectly valid excuse for a breakup. This fake excuse to break up with someone will sound something like this:
- I have no space to be myself in this relationship and it is honestly suffocating me
- There is just too much going on with us right now and I feel trapped sometimes
- I cannot handle the intensity with which you approach this relationship. It makes me feel claustrophobic
8. I like someone else
This one almost sounds like one of the common types of cheating and can be a punch in the gut to the person at the receiving end but it’s best to be upfront. Let your partner know that you are no longer emotionally invested in the relationship and are attracted to someone else. They might get upset and make a scene but at least you’d get what you wanted – to end the relationship.
This is one of the fake reasons to break up with someone which should only be used if you have no other option. Breakups have the drawback of being challenging and tearful. You need to defend yourself and stick to your breakup excuse.
Related Reading: Anxiety After Breakup – Expert Recommends 8 Ways To Cope
9. We are not the people we used to be
When all other paths appear to be unworkable, you can choose a philosophical one. It sounds like a perfectly valid excuse to break up with someone if you tell them that your relationship’s dynamics have changed and that you are simply unhappy with what you have become as a couple.
If you’re wondering how in the world can you use this fake excuse to break up with someone, here are some examples that can come to the rescue:
- We fell in love with a different version of each other and that doesn’t exist anymore. And frankly, I don’t know how to love this version of us
- We were so young when we fell in love. Our priorities and perspectives are not aligned anymore
- We are not compatible anymore because we are not the same people we used to be
10. I don’t feel the way I used to
This is a common breakup excuse girls use and is essentially foolproof. You cannot force someone to like you and you cannot control their emotions. It’s entirely possible that your feelings toward a partner change for the worse after some time. It’s highly likely that you no longer feel the same way about them. You can tell them how you feel and end the relationship.
11. I need to be single right now
This is one of the best excuses to break up with someone nicely. Tell them that for the sake of your growth, you need to focus and prioritize yourself. And to be able to do that, you need to be single. It almost sounds like “it’s not you, it’s me” but this one is a little less cliche fake reason to break up with someone.
Related Reading: 18 Sample Letters For Breaking Up With Someone You Love
12. I am not prepared for a long-distance relationship
This is a great fake reason to break up with someone but only if you are moving away. A lot of people run in the opposite direction at the mere mention of long-distance relationships since they can be tough on the couple and can create miscommunication and trust issues.
If you are not moving away and still want to use this excuse, you would have to stay out of their way and be careful not to run into them. So, we suggest that you only use this breakup excuse if nothing from this list works for you.
Key Pointers
- It is perfectly normal to not have a reason but feel the need to break up with someone
- Use excuses that sound reasonable and do not demean the person
- “It’s not you, it’s me” is the oldest excuse which works every time
- Commitment issues, lack of feelings, and fear of long-distance are good excuses to break up with someone
- When giving an excuse, stand your ground and remember why you want to break up
Remember that breakups can be messy but you have to stand your ground if you are not happy or simply not ready to be in a relationship with that person. We hope this list of excuses to break up with someone can help you find the exit route you were searching for.
FAQs
A breakup excuse is a made-up story that someone tells you to get out of the relationship with you. A breakup excuse doesn’t necessarily mean something and could just be about the person not enjoying the relationship.
If you want to break up with someone but do not have a concrete reason, you need to come up with excuses that sound reasonable, are not an attack, and do not demean the other person.
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There are much easier, surefire ways for a man to break up with a woman that will not only relieve your guilt but send the woman running away thinking she’s lucky:
1. TELL HER YOUR CRAZY FOR ANAL SEX.
Whether you’ve already had sex or not with her, explain that you ONLY desire anal, it’s all you’ve ever wanted. Say that during oral or vaginal, it’s just depressing for you, and you want to be honest that the only sex you want is anal. Add that you hate the feel of lubrication during anal and need to go in raw and dry.
2. ASK HER TO ROLE-PLAY BEING A CHILD.
Ask her to begin role-playing that she’s 11 years old, and talk about it and ask for it ALL the time. Start sending/showing her images of little girls in school uniforms and Hello Kitty pajamas, and tell her it’s the only kind of sex you love. Go all out, and tell her how you fantasize about it all day. [But DON’T send child porn.] And if you are already in a sexual relationship with her, begin talking to her like she’s a little girl.
3. INFORM HER YOUR EX GF HAD YOUR BABY.
Explain that your ex contacted or saw you and that she told you you’re a father. Say the child is however old it would be from when you last slept with your ex, and tell her you feel an incredible responsibility to raise that child. And to do that, you’ll need to be with the kid and her mom. You can download fake DNA test results off of the internet, if your partner insists, and just type your name in the form before printing. And talk about the make-believe child all the time, even downloading fake photos from sites like FB.
4. LET HER FIND GAY PORN.
Start pretending to watch GAY porn ALL the time, and make sure she always sees it on your phone anytime youre together. Act like you’re trying to hide it. If questioned, just act all bashful and embarrassed, but make sure the porn she finds on your phone, computer, or pad is obscene gay porn, like with animals, S&M, defication, or transvestite chicks.
5. BEGIN WEARING HER PANTIES AND BRAS
Don’t just wear them, take photos of them on yourself and send them to her all day, making sure you use apps that delete the images after viewing once. Start chatting with her daily like you’re effeminate and ask if this or that color or style matches your skintone.
In conclusion, if for any reason your woman tries to accept anyone of these behaviors, then add in a second reason or even a third. I guarantee not only will she NOT feel guilty breaking up, she’ll thank God she got away in time.