Infatuation can be an intense and all-consuming experience, making it hard to focus on anything else but that one person who has captured your heart and mind. It often feels like a whirlwind of excitement, desire, and longing, but beneath the surface, it can lead to emotional turmoil, obsession, and even heartache. If you’re wondering how to get over infatuation, this article is for you.

To answer questions such as “What does it mean to be infatuated with someone?” and “How can I navigate an infatuation relationship?”, we talked to a California-based psychiatrist and Cognitive Behaviour Therapist, Dr. Shefali Batra (MD in psychiatry). She specializes in counseling for separation and divorce, breakup and dating, and premarital compatibility issues.

What Is Infatuation?

Infatuation is that whirlwind feeling that makes you think, “Oh my God, this is it!” You meet someone and suddenly, they’re all you can think about. They haven’t even texted back yet, and you’re already imagining a future together with a pet lizard. But what is infatuation really? 

Dr. Batra says, “It’s an intense emotional experience, often confused with love, yet fundamentally different. It’s like a firework—explosive but short-lived. Unlike love, which builds over time and is rooted in deeper understanding and commitment, infatuation burns brightly and fades quickly, leaving behind a sense of longing and often, emotional instability.” 

Sabrina, a 26-year old graphic designer, shared this story with us. “There was a guy at one of the previous jobs I worked at, who I developed a crush on. I didn’t know much about him and hadn’t even talked to him. But in my mind, I had imagined his personality down to minute details, like what kind of pasta he likes and if he’s a mountain or a beach person. I turned into a complete teenager, daydreaming and what not. But, once I got to talk to him at a party, I found out he wasn’t my type of guy at all and all the feelings instantly fizzled out.”

Understanding the infatuation definition helps you identify when you’re experiencing it and to distinguish it from a more genuine connection.

Related Reading: Platonic Crush — Meaning, Signs, And What To Do

Signs of Infatuation

Infatuation often disguises itself as intense passion or love, but the emotional experience can be vastly different in love vs in infatuation. It typically involves overwhelming thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that are disproportionate to the reality of the relationship. Below are some of the telltale signs that you might be experiencing romantic infatuation as per the expert:

1. You obsess over them

One of the most prominent signs of infatuation is an inability to stop thinking about the person. This can look like:

• Constantly checking their social media profiles
• Daydreaming about them at work
• Replaying every interaction in your mind

Dr. Batra, “These obsessive thoughts consume your attention. This fixation makes it hard to focus on other parts of your life, such as work, hobbies, or even self-care. This is what it means to be infatuated with someone—having thoughts that dominate your time and energy.

2. You idealize them

What does it mean to be infatuated with someone? It means viewing the person through rose-colored glasses. You tend to ignore their flaws and magnify their positive traits, making them appear perfect in your eyes. This idealization can lead to disappointment later on when reality doesn’t match up to the high expectations you’ve set. Healthy relationships are based on seeing someone for who they truly are, including their imperfections.

3. You’re constantly thinking about impressing them

Every action or decision is influenced by the need to be noticed or validated by this person. From changing your appearance and behaviors to going out of your way to please them, you find yourself overly preoccupied with making a great impression. While it’s natural to want to look your best for someone you like, being infatuated with someone often leads to overcompensating, sometimes at the cost of losing yourself.

Related Reading: 10 Mistakes Men Make While Trying To Impress Women

4. You’re irrationally jealous of anyone who even looks at them

Even casual interactions they have with others can stir up intense jealousy and insecurity. You might feel threatened by their friends, acquaintances, or anyone who seems to capture their attention, even if there’s no real reason to feel this way. This unhealthy jealousy stems from fear of losing their affection and can lead to negative emotions, such as possessiveness and anxiety.

When a friend of mine, Taylor, developed a crush on her neighbor, she used to share every little detail about it with me, as friends do. She would tell me stuff like, “I saw him talking with another girl while on his morning walk. They were laughing together. I hope there’s nothing going on between them. Maybe I should start going on a morning walk too.” And I obviously used to facepalm and try to put some sense into her, as friends do. 

5. You’re on an emotional rollercoaster

Being infatuated with someone often causes extreme emotional highs and lows. You might feel ecstatic when you receive a text from them, but the smallest sign of disinterest or lack of attention can send you into a spiral of self-doubt and sadness. This emotional rollercoaster makes it difficult to maintain balance in your life, as your happiness seems entirely dependent on how they respond to you.

Recognizing these signs of infatuation is the first step in understanding your feelings and regaining emotional clarity. By doing so, you can begin to assess your thoughts and actions more objectively, paving the way for healthier relationships and a more stable emotional state.

Related Reading: 17 Signs You’re With An Emotionally Immature Woman

17 Psychological Tricks To Get Over Infatuation

Overcoming infatuation can be challenging, especially when you’re consumed by thoughts and emotions that make the person seem like your whole world. Learning how to get over infatuation is about taking a step back, regaining perspective, and taking actionable steps toward emotional freedom. Here’s a guide on how to get someone out of your head and stop obsessing over a crush:

1. Admit you’re infatuated

Step one of how to get over infatuation is recognizing that what you’re feeling is not true love; it’s a fleeting emotional high. This kind of infatuation leads to overanalyzing small actions, like a quick text reply, and interpreting them as a grand gesture. Acknowledging this is crucial to moving forward.

2. Limit contact

It’s tough to emotionally let go when you’re constantly messaging each other or responding to every post. Dr. Batra advises, “Start by limiting your communication; it will help you break the cycle of dependency.” Trust that you can thrive without their daily selfies or “Good morning” texts.

3. Stop checking their social media

An infatuation relationship often intensifies through constant social media stalking. Taking a break from their updates will help reduce the urge to check in on their life and free your mind from unnecessary distractions.

4.Don’t idealize them

No one is perfect. It’s easy to romanticize every trait of someone you’re infatuated with, but try to humanize them instead. Remember, they have flaws, quirks, and imperfections like anyone else, and they’re not as flawless as your infatuated mind makes them out to be.

5. Reflect on their flaws

Wondering how to get someone out of your head? Actively think of their less flattering qualities to balance out the idealization. Remember that one-sided dinner conversation where they only talked about themselves? It’s a good reminder that this may not be the perfect relationship you envision.

Related Reading: 11 Qualities Of An Ideal Wife – A Man’s Perspective

6. Talk to your friends

Your friends know you best and will help you see things clearly. They’ll also remind you of those less-than-appealing traits of your infatuation, like the cringe-worthy karaoke moment, to put things in perspective. And trust me, it’s very fun for the friends as well.

In school, we had a friend in our group, who would develop instant crushes. Every other week, there was someone who had “stolen her heart”. And we had a whole session every time, listing out things like, “He has a big nose” or “His handwriting is atrocious” (Don’t judge, we were teenagers). Point is, it worked every time. She lost feelings after these sessions. 

7. Distract yourself

Giving advice on how to get over a crush, Dr. Batra says, “Find some activity to keep your mind busy and prevent it from wandering into the what ifs.” You can:

• Find a new hobby
• Check out that show you’ve been wanting to see for so long
• Explore new sports
• Have a solo date night

Engaging in activities you enjoy can provide a positive distraction and help you re-center your focus on your own life. This is one of those psychological tricks to make yourself happy.

Related Reading: 26 Love Yourself Quotes to Build Your Confidence

8. Focus on yourself

This is the perfect time for self care and self-improvement. Treat yourself as the priority, and invest time in activities that make you feel great, whether it’s reading a book, cooking a new recipe, or pampering yourself.

9.Don’t romanticize coincidences

If you’re looking for advice on how to get over a crush, here’s one. Stop seeing every little coincidence as a sign from the universe. Shared interests don’t automatically make you soulmates. Liking the same kind of pizza or music doesn’t necessarily mean you’re meant to be together. 

10. Avoid places they frequent

A major step in how to get someone out of your head is to distance yourself from things and even places that you associate with that person. Dr. Batra says, “If you’re tempted to “bump into them” at their favorite café, resist the urge. Find new places to explore, which will help you establish new experiences and break the association with them.”

11. Talk to new people

Start engaging in fresh conversations with other people. While you don’t need to jump into a new relationship, it’s helpful to remind yourself that there are other interesting individuals who may be a better match for you.

One of my guy friends would not stop lamenting about this girl, who he had asked out but she wasn’t interested. We advised him to start exploring online dating or go out to a bar to look for another date, but he refused to move on. Until one day, when we dragged him to a party and eventually, he mingled and, would you believe it, took off early with a girl.

12. Laugh about it

Take a step back and see the humor in your infatuation. Laughing at how much you overanalyzed their playlist or that “one-second smile” will help you see the situation as less serious and give you a lighthearted perspective.

13. Let go of the “what could have been”

The fantasy of “what could have been” is nothing more than a mental movie you’ve created, and it’s not reality. Let go of this imagined narrative and remember that true love is built on more than what you hoped could happen.

14. Write it down

Expressing your thoughts in a journal or venting to a close friend can help you release pent-up emotions. Resist the urge to share these thoughts with the person you’re infatuated with; instead, confide in someone who supports you.

15. Don’t rehash memories

Stop replaying every interaction or every smile they gave you. These moments don’t mean as much as they seem when viewed through the lens of infatuation. Allow your mind to move on from these fleeting memories.

16. Cut off daydreaming

Here’s how to stop obsessing over a crush. Whenever you catch yourself fantasizing about a future with them, immediately interrupt that thought. Think about something more grounded, like their most annoying habit, to bring yourself back to reality.

17. Give it time

This is the most effective advice on how to get over a crush. All feelings fade with time, and infatuation is no exception. Trust that this intense emotion will pass, and soon enough, you’ll be able to look back and wonder why you ever felt so consumed in the first place.

Final Thoughts

Getting over infatuation is a process that requires self-awareness, patience, and the willingness to put your own well-being first. By recognizing the indications of infatuation and taking proactive steps to limit contact, avoid idealization, and focus on yourself, you can regain control of your emotions and see things clearly. 

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