17 Lesser-Known Psychological Facts About Soulmates

How many psychological facts about soulmates have you heard? They say it’s a cosmic romance, where two souls are meant to connect in a way that transcends comprehension. But what really makes someone a soulmate? Should you believe in love that’s decided by fate? Is it destiny or chance? And what happens when soulmates are apart? Throughout history, tales have been spun about souls finding each other against all odds. Theories about soulmates are endless.

It leaves us wondering: Are these connections predetermined or just fortunate encounters? Does ‘the one’ even exist? Do they complete us, fitting like missing pieces in our lives? What is the actual truth about soulmates? Sure, it sounds good on paper, but today, we explore some scientific and psychological facts about soulmates to guide you in your pursuit of love.

What Are Soulmates?

“A soulmate is an ongoing connection with another individual that the soul picks up again in various times and places over lifetimes.” — Edgar Cayce

That does sound quite mystic, right? Who wouldn’t want soulmate relationships that are so complete that they go beyond the realm of any connection we know? Simply put, it’s a special bond where two individuals deeply connect on an emotional, mental, and spiritual level. Here are a few general characteristics of the soulmates theory that make this connection unique:

• Deep soul connection: The people involved have an intense and profound bond that feels natural and effortless
• Understanding and empathy: Soulmates understand each other’s feelings, thoughts, and perspectives, often without needing to say a word. They empathize deeply and support each other unconditionally
• Similar values and beliefs: They are often on the same page, and share common values, beliefs, and life goals, which strengthens their connection and compatibility
• Mutual respect: Soulmates have a high level of respect for each other. They value each other’s opinions, boundaries, and individuality
• Complementarity: While they may not be identical, they complement each other’s strengths and weaknesses, filling in gaps and supporting growth
• Comfort and trust: There’s a strong sense of trust and comfort between soulmates, allowing them to be their true selves without fear of judgment or rejection
• Unconditional love: They have a deep, genuine, and unconditional love for each other, supporting one another through life’s ups and downs. What is a soulmate if they don’t love you like this, right?

Related Reading: 51 Deep Relationship Questions To Ask For A Better Love Life

What Does Psychology Say About Soulmates?

The word ‘soulmate’ can mean several different things to different people. Some would call their partner their soulmate, while for others, it could be their set of friends or pets. Can people have multiple soulmate relationships or just one in a lifetime? What happens when you can’t be with your soulmate? Even with so many theories about soulmates, the rules are hazy.

Psychologist Nandita Rambhia, who specializes in CBT, REBT, and couple’s counseling, explains, “Soulmates as a concept is more popular in philosophy. In psychology, the term compatibility is more often used and people who have a strong connection beyond just romantic love are said to be compatible.”

She adds more psychology facts about soulmates: “The psychology behind the soulmate concept is that it makes people feel loved, secure, and wanted. We embrace ideas like soulmates because it implies that we don’t have to be lonely in our journey.”

Here are some more psychological facts about soulmates from mental health professionals:

“The concept of finding your soulmate has ruined some marriages,” psychologist Barton Goldsmith, Ph.D., writes in his book, The Happy Couple. “Sometimes I see couples who consider themselves soulmates. When they realize they have differences, this can be very hard to digest and they run into problems,” says Cate Campbell, a sex and relationship therapist and a member of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy.

“During the honeymoon phase, small disagreements are often obscured by oxytocin, the love hormone that helps us bond and reproduce. Once we commit to each other or have a baby, this starts to wear off. That’s where small problems can start to escalate,” she adds.

What Do Netizens Think About Soulmates?

Writers and artists have celebrated and eulogized the spiritual connection and soulmate relationships through their work. Emery Allen said, “I feel like a part of my soul has loved you since the beginning of everything. Maybe we’re from the same star.” A famous dialogue by Candace Bushnell from the iconic show Sex and the City goes, “Maybe our girlfriends are our soulmates and guys are just people to have fun with.”

While this notion has been traditionally romanticized to a great extent, what does the present-day generation of digital natives think about the concept of soulmates? Is there any proof about how many soulmates in the world have found each other? What is a soulmate according to them? Here is a sneak peek:

Related Reading: 13 Incredible Things That Happen When You Meet Your Soulmate

A Reddit user says, “I’ve had relationships with no less than four people in my adult life I was SURE were The One. That soulmate feeling is a chemical dump in your brain. It’s loads of fun! When it’s actually going to last, it deepens into something more solid and not quite as butterfly-ish.”

Yet another user says, “I think there are different kinds of soulmates for different seasons in your life. I think it extends beyond the typical romantic soulmate relationship.”

One more user on Reddit shares their take on soulmates, “When you find them, it’s like fireworks. You feel like you’ve always known them like you can’t live without them.”

Lastly, someone else explains, “I feel like everyone has several soulmates or soul connections and it doesn’t have to be romantic.”

While it is absurd to think that soulmates and psychology have something in common, you may be surprised to know that studies do exist on the topic. Let’s dive into the research to see if there’s any truth about soulmates.

17 Lesser-Known Psychological Facts About Soulmates

Rumi said, “My soul and yours are the same. You appear in me, I appear in you. We hide in each other.”

“People think a soulmate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soulmate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your attention so you can change your life.” — Elizabeth Gilbert writes in Eat, Pray, Love

Quotes like these can sometimes guide you toward the signs you’ve found the one. We all hope to meet people whom we can love as much as we could love a soulmate. How many soulmates in the world find each other? Some people believe in finding their soulmates, while others hope to become their partner’s soulmates over the course of a relationship. Irrespective of where you stand on the belief system surrounding soulmates, read ahead to decide whether there is any merit to soulmate relationships from a psychological lens.

These random facts about soulmates will leave you questioning your beliefs about the one true flame and what conspires when you meet your true match. Here are 13 science-backed facts about soulmates:

Related Reading: Recognizing Soulmate Energy — 15 Signs To Watch Out For

1. Soulmates have differences

We have seen the “my soulmate and I are always in sync” notion all too often on screen. That’s why the psychological facts about soulmates hit hard. “Framing love as perfect unity can hurt relationship satisfaction,” thus concludes a study published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology. Giving up on love just because you don’t understand its true nature? No, we don’t want that for you.

Conflicts are bound to happen in any relationship even without unrealistic expectations. A person who believes their partner was made for them will take each fight hard, will question if their partner is their soulmate, their entire relationship, and may then lose faith in the notion of love and happily-ever-after. Considering all of this, should you believe in love? As long as you’re willing to be real with yourself, yes.

2. They occur more often as friendships than romantic relationships

It’s not just about romantic partners! Soulmates tend to go beyond love relationships or being romantic life partners. They’re like a chosen family — supportive, loving, and there for you. Think beyond romance; your soulmate could be anyone: best friends, siblings, a teacher, or even your parents. They’re the ones who help you grow and evolve, showering you with unconditional care and support.

Remember, soulmate connections aren’t always about having one soulmate. They’re about a deep connection that nurtures your soul, and they can exist in various relationships, not just romantic ones.

Related Reading: Could You Be In A Romantic Friendship With Someone? 7 Signs That Say So

3. Soulmates may not be found but can be made

Working for the relationship as well as the belief of knowing your partner is your soulmate makes for a better married life. Because who doesn’t want to spend the rest of their life with their soulmate? Psychology encourages the process of creating a beautiful relationship for both partners. Once you have a solid, loving foundation, and you are in tune with your intuition, you might even notice there are many signs your soulmate is thinking of you!

A study published in the National Library of Medicine articulates how creating happy, fulfilling relationships is a mix of optimum responsiveness, interpersonal goals, and compassion between partners. It won’t be perfect, and there will still be tough times. But the faith partners have in each other gives them the strength to believe that their relationship will thrive.

4. Such connections, if healthy, make you feel positive

A study says, “Relationships seem to contribute to well-being by sharing positive moments and events.” Many such studies have indicated that individuals in healthy, supportive relationships tend to exhibit more positive emotions, increased life satisfaction, and better mental health. After all, no one supports you the way your soulmate does.

When you’re with your soulmate, you’ll likely experience numerous moments filled with genuine happiness and joy. But it’s not just about the good times; your soulmate stands by you during tough times too. Having someone who supports and understands you through challenges can greatly impact your overall positivity and resilience. But we must add one of the hard-to-swallow psychology facts about soulmates: None of the above means you should rely on your soulmate entirely for your personal growth.

5. A soulmate connection may mimic an addiction

Dopamine is released in the body when you fall in love or make an intense emotional connection. It activates the same parts of the brain as addiction, making us want to experience the same feel good emotions repeatedly.

The Indian Journal of Endocrinology and Metabolism cites, “Love and addictions are somewhat interconnected, the one key difference is that naturally rewarding activities such as love are controlled by feedback mechanisms that activate aversive centers, which limit the destructive qualities of addiction seen with drugs. Love activates specific regions in the reward system. The effects include a reduction in emotional judgment and reduced fear and also reduced depression and enhanced mood.”

Related Reading: I’m 35 and Single | I Don’t Think It’s Late To Find A Life Partner

6. Men believe in soulmates more than women

Here’s one of the most wholesome yet random facts about soulmate relationships. A 2021 YouGov poll of nearly 15,000 U.S. adults found that 60% of respondents believe in the idea of soulmates, with women more likely to endorse the notion of a soulmate (64%) compared to men (55%).

This statistic challenges traditional notions of men being generally indifferent toward the idea of soulmates and underscores the complexity of human beliefs and attitudes toward relationships. It highlights that a strong belief in soulmates is not strictly confined to one gender but varies among individuals, contributing to the diversity of perspectives on love and partnership. Turns out that men may be, after all, the hopeless romantics pining for their happily ever after.

7. You may have a soulmate connection with multiple people

Did you know that a soulmate connection isn’t always romantic? It is a spiritual connection more than anything else. It can come into your life in different forms. Soul partners know and understand each other deeply, and continue to be a support system for one another. They’re someone with whom you feel a deep connection that you cannot box into the confines of mere emotional or physical intimacy.

This specific person can be a romantic partner or a sibling, a friend, a business associate, or even a coworker. There are different types of soulmates and diverse kinds of connections they bring into your life. What happens when soulmates are apart? If your connection is strong, your gut can even point to the signs your soulmate is thinking of you or when they are feeling low, even though you haven’t spoken or met with each other.

A study conducted in 2021 researched the different phenomena associated with soulmate experiences. Among the 140 respondents who had met a soulmate, 39 had met several, 37 had married their soulmate, 39 had unmarried romantic relations, 14 were close friends, 9 described their children as soulmates, 5 were soulmates with their dog or cat, and a few described other family members or acquaintances as soulmates.

8. Soulmates meet in their darkest hours

Soulmates tend to find each other during tough times. It’s like a cosmic connection that brings them together when they’re facing their darkest moments. Imagine you’re going through a tough period, and you finally meet someone who seems to resonate with you on a deeper level. It’s possible that they’re experiencing similar challenges. This meeting happens for a reason — to support each other through these difficult times.

Psychological studies on relationships and life events suggest that shared adversity can create strong emotional bonds between individuals. When people encounter challenges together, it can deepen their special connection and sense of understanding. One such study states, “Pain may actually have positive social consequences, acting as a sort of ‘social glue’ that fosters cohesion and solidarity within groups.”

Related Reading: No-Labels Relationship: Does A Relationship Without Labels Work?

9. A majority of people believe in soulmates

A statistical but one of the most believable psychological facts about soulmates is this: A survey of 2,000 Americans finds 72% of people consider themselves “romantics” who believe that people are destined to be together. A similar number believe in soulmates (73%). If you’ve ever wondered if your partner’s your soulmate, you’re not alone. Turns out, you’re with the majority who believe in the existence of deep soul connections.

10. Karmic soulmates experience a feeling of déjà vu

When soulmates meet, something peculiar often happens — They feel an intense connection, like they’ve met before. It’s like a strong sense of déjà vu, as if they already know each other deeply from sometime or somewhere else. Some believe this sensation of familiarity could stem from memories of a past life or past relationships.

Psychological studies on memory and recognition, like those conducted by researchers in the field of parapsychology or exploring reincarnation, have delved into these phenomena. While scientific evidence might not explicitly confirm past life memories, the feeling of déjà vu upon meeting a soulmate remains a fascinating aspect of human connection. This sense of knowing someone intimately and displaying strong signs of chemistry on the first date continues to intrigue and puzzle researchers and individuals alike.

11. The younger generation may believe in soulmates but on their terms

While so many youngsters may believe in the idea of a soulmate, they don’t get into relationships just for the sake of being with someone, according to a study published in Science Direct. It says, “A historical survey of paradigm shifts over centuries shows the discourse of romantic love is embedded in the individualistic assumptions of capitalism.”

The newer discourses of relationships require connectedness, communication, mutuality, cooperation, and responsibility instead of just an instant connection. While the number of people believing in soulmates may be on the rise, the next generation of believers is quite logical and emotionally adept; they want much more than grand gestures and false promises of a soulmate trap. An interesting psychological fact applies here that the younger generation demands a healthy love story with their soulmate.

12. As you grow older, your belief in soulmates goes down

Yet another one of those random facts about soulmates, or is it the truth? As per a Marist poll, “Younger Americans are the most starry-eyed. 80% of those under the age of 30, and 78% of those aged 30 to 44 believe in the idea of soul mates. This compares with 72% of 45 to 59 year-old US residents and 65% of those 60 and older.”

We’ve all heard of people being together for a long time and about couples who start looking alike. We have learned that this is a sign of a happy married life, or is it? Thoughts of dread may start to creep in as we age, thus diminishing the stars in our eyes: “Maybe not everyone has the will to find soulmates.” “What if you’re one of the small section of people who haven’t found their soulmates?” “What should happen when you can’t be with your soulmate because they are married to someone else?”

13. Soulmates might just be a bad idea

A belief in a soulmate may seem harmless but if taken too idealistically, it can translate to disaster. Staying in a relationship that is harming your physical, mental, and emotional security, or spiritual self — just because you believe your partner is your soulmate for all your life — is not okay.

We continue to live our soulmate story and don’t question it, even when there are red flags in the relationship. We see familiar love instead of a soulmate trap. A person too bent on the idea of the ‘only soulmate’ might end up experiencing a toxic relationship and may not be able to leave.

14. Soulmates aren’t a match made in heaven

Contrary to popular belief, when soulmates meet, it may not be your “other half” sent from the heavens above. A study published by the University of Toronto states, “Our findings corroborate prior research showing that people who implicitly think of relationships as perfect unity between soulmates have worse relationships than people who think of their relationships as a journey of growing and working things out.”

Ever heard of penguin soulmates being the epitome of romance in the animal kingdom? Well, it’s complicated. They may be socially monogamous for the sake of raising their chicks, but even penguin soulmates are not sexually monogamous. The point is, don’t glorify your soulmate connection with your human partner and embrace your different needs.

Related Reading: Cosmic Connection — You Don’t Meet These 9 People By Accident

15. Soulmate connection is driven by intuition and energy

Whether you believe that your soul is connected to someone else or not, there’s no denying that sometimes you can feel very close to someone. This leads you to believe that the uncanny coincidences must mean something more. Sure, love releases dopamine, but intuition, energy, instant connection, and your gut play a huge role here. Watch out for the signs — Your soulmate may be your best friend you’ve known for years or the coworker you were just introduced to.

16. You have to open yourself to the possibility of a soulmate

According to Dr. Michael Tobin, who is a family and marital psychologist with over 40 years of experience, you can potentially find your soulmate. He says, “Everything in life is about timing. Some prefer to call it divine timing but I believe it’s a matter of self-knowledge.

“When you understand that a relationship is not about control or the simple need for fulfillment but is essential to our psychological and spiritual development, then you’re open to the possibility of meeting your soulmate.” So, yes, you might just have to be more open and forthcoming on this quest for love.

Related Reading: 17 Signs Of True Love From A Woman

17. Soulmates may share extraordinary, extreme experiences of love

In a 2021 study on soulmate experiences, 25 individuals were interviewed who had extreme experiences of falling in love. The respondents characterize encounters as unique and far beyond normal romantic relationships. Respondents reported immediate mutual bonding and secure attachment and developed a deep connection on many levels after being able to instantly recognize each other. Let’s answer the “what is a soulmate?” mystery through some statistics from this study:

• 72% used the term soulmate for their romantic partners
• 68% formed romantic relations, marriages, or intimate friendships
• Even the 32% who broke up, or did not develop regular relationships, see the connections as extraordinary life events, equal to bonding with their children

It may feel like you’re the main character in a movie when you align yourself with the idea of finding a soulmate. It may be a peculiar feeling, fun and quite intense, to look for the one that your soul is made for. There are so many forms of love like karmic soulmates, twin flames, and romantic friendships to consider when you open the doors to deep connections.

Related Reading: Karmic Relationships – How To Identify And How To Handle It

But it is exhausting at the same time, because you’re more focused on finding the right one and often ignore the work required for two people to share a life. And more importantly, the fact that you’re supposed to take care of yourself first.

On the other hand, it can be quite freeing to give up on the idea of a soulmate entirely. Instead, work on the idea of building your relationship together so you two become each other’s soulmate proactively. Maybe it really is just a misconception. There are no shortcuts at the end, soulmate or not. Any healthy relationship requires work, patience, and effort for a long-lasting future.

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