Long-distance relationship problems often prove to be a deterrent to love. The idea of building an intimate, meaningful relationship—or even sustaining an existing romantic partnership—with someone who is not physically proximate seems daunting, to say the least. In part, societal prejudices also propagate the idea that long-distance relationships are untenable.
When you mention being in a long-distance relationship in any social setting, it attracts a lot of sympathetic reactions because people assume you are having a really hard time. And they’re not entirely off base. After all, long-distance relationship struggles are real. That said, it does not mean that your relationship is doomed to fail or that the distance will invariably take its toll. You and your partner can sail through by learning how to navigate long-distance relationship problems the right way.
18 Long-Distance Problems You Should Know About
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Long-distance relationship problems can often leave you feeling overwhelmed and frustrated. Unlike a regular relationship, you cannot possibly make an argument melt away with a hug or find solace in your SO’s embrace at the end of a long, exhausting day. The distance augments existing problems, making them appear worse than they are. That’s why it’s important to learn the right way to prevent your yearning and longing for your partner from taking its toll on your emotional health and relationship. The most essential element for navigating the challenges of long-distance relationships is to have faith that your love is strong.
Once you have that conviction, making that extra effort in overcoming obstacles and keeping your bond intact becomes that much easier. The next order of business is to have a tactful approach to solving long-distance relationship problems. What does that tactful approach entail? We break it down for you with this lowdown on 18 common problems in a long-distance relationship and the right way to deal with them:
1. Trying to be in touch all the time
Yes! As counter-intuitive as it may sound, excessive contact is a common LDR problem that can threaten your bond. While a healthy amount of communication is necessary, you really should not be glued to your phone all day. Doing so can be an indication that you’re in a clingy relationship, and that’s not healthy by any measure.
The constant longing is just one of the harsh facts of long-distance relationships, and you have to accept it to be able to carry on without it adversely impacting your bond or your life. Strike the balance between staying emotionally connected in a long-distance relationship and having a life. It is important to ensure you do not sacrifice other aspects of your life in order to sustain your relationship.
2. Physical distance can stir up jealousy
Another one of the common challenges of long-distance relationships is that physical distance can make you feel insecure and stir up feelings of jealousy. For instance, if your partner has a new friend that they hang out with a lot, you may start worrying about whether they’re catching feelings for this person. The resulting jealousy can lead to constant bickering, arguments, and fights, which can add to your relationship woes.
Jealousy in relationships often brings its unique set of challenges, even more so when you and your partner are not physically together to assuage each other’s insecurities. The best way to counter it is to prioritize honesty and transparency in the relationship whilst also giving each other enough space. It can seem like a tricky balance to strike, but it’s the only way to keep the green-eyed monster of jealousy out of the equation.
Related Reading: 10 Tips To Turn Jealousy In Relationships Into Motivation
3. Worrying about the future
One of the most doom-like long-distance relationship problems is uncertainty about the future. It can be anxiety-inducing to plan a future when you live in a different city than your partner. While you must contemplate it, do not spend every second stressing about it.
Thinking about the prospect of marriage and aligning your careers or even picking a city to live in calls for some long conversations and difficult decisions. This might make you constantly evaluate where and how you should be taking things, taking away from the value of the present. You can counter a host of long-distance relationship issues by merely taking things one step at a time, and not overthinking about the future.
4. Loneliness is among the top long-distance relationship problems
You may not think much of starting a long-distance relationship or agreeing to do long-distance with your current partner because you’re confident that your feelings are strong enough to transcend any distance but things can change quickly when loneliness creeps in. A recurrent LDR problem is that you feel like you’re alone even when you have a partner.
The distance can make it difficult to feel safe and surrounded by love. This might make you feel like you are in a failed relationship. You can address this issue by making sure you and your bae spend quality time together every single day. You don’t have to be constantly virtually connected but do dedicate some time in your schedule each day to really connect and focus on one another.
5. You can grow apart and out of sync
Even though you two are together, you still have a lot of time to focus on the other things in your life. Friends, family, career, and hobbies can take up a lot of your energy in any relationship. When you become too focused on those, your relationship could take a backseat.
As you grow as a person, you may not be able to keep tabs on your partner’s growth and experiences. You might become naturally inclined toward individuality and stop factoring your partner into the decisions you make. This can leave you struggling with the dilemma, “I’m in a long-distance relationship, I feel disconnected from my partner. What should I do?” Trying to share new experiences with each other, and trying new long-distance relationship activities can help you bond and stay connected.
Related Reading: 7 Warning Signs You Are Growing Apart In Your Marriage
6. Miscommunication can exacerbate long-distance relationship problems
The texting era has certainly made communication super easy but has also been the reason for a lot of conflicts and misunderstandings. That’s because effective communication is built on the pillars of context, tone, and expressions, none of which can be conveyed effectively in text messages.
You or your partner may misinterpret each other’s words, resulting in confusion and worry. When repressed, these misunderstandings can pile up and lead to larger problems. To keep such avoidable long-distance relationship trouble at bay, make it a point to talk to your partner if something they said made you feel bad. Likewise, if they felt thrown by something you said, listen with an open mind and explain your side calmly.
7. Lack of physical intimacy can make sustaining LDR hard
In a long-distance relationship, you may find yourself constantly yearning to feel your partner’s touch and moments of intimacy. This is a common trigger behind cheating in long-distance relationships. But you don’t have to go down that slippery slope to have your needs met.
Instead, you could leverage technology to feel more connected to your partner, and have your need for intimacy met. There are quite a few apps for long-distance couples that can help you connect physically and sexually, albeit virtually. It may not be the same as having your partner next to you, but it is the next best thing.
Related Reading: They’ve never met but they have the best long distance relationship ever
8. Feelings of insecurity can sow seeds of doubt
One of the long-distance relationship issues is having to brush away constant insecurities. Even if your partner loves you a lot, it may not be possible for them to be there for you every time you need them. Besides, the distance and limited windows of togetherness may make it difficult for you to share every detail of your day with each other.
For instance, you may have gone to get ice cream with a friend that your partner is a little insecure about but you avoid bringing it up while talking to your SO because it seems trivial and you want to use the little time you have together focusing on your relationship. But then, your partner sees a story of the ice cream outing on your social media, and wonders, “Why didn’t he/she tell me about it?”
Just like that, something as innocuous as eating ice cream can stir up long-distance relationship trouble. Once the seed of doubt is sown, it can be difficult to overcome feelings of insecurity. It might make you wallow in feelings of worthlessness and despair. The solution, once again, is to make a conscious effort to not let doubts fester and to be as honest and transparent as possible.
9. Space can become an ominous word
When you’re already physically apart, the need for space can become a source of conflict in the relationship. It can stir up insecurities and even make one worry if one’s partner is losing interest in the relationship. However, space in a relationship is not necessarily a bad thing. If you love your partner, you must understand their need for space and their need to be themselves. Always needing their time and attention can lead to conflicts and emotionally suffocate them. Create space to allow them, and yourself, to breathe. Your relationship is undoubtedly an important part of your life but it is not—and should not be—your whole life.
10. Not being able to share responsibilities
One of the most overbearing long-distance relationship struggles can be trying to juggle too many different roles and responsibilities without your partner by your side. From running errands to doing chores, performing well at your job, and fulfilling social obligations, it can all get too much when your significant other is not there to share the load. Sometimes, the frustration of it all can be unfairly redirected at your partner and your relationship, resulting in unnecessary arguments and fights. The only way around this issue is to enlist help from people around you, and not resent your partner for “leaving you alone”.
11. An LDR can take a toll on your mental health
One of the concerning challenges of long-distance relationships is that all of those niggling issues, compounded by distance and constantly missing your partner, can begin to take a toll on your mental health. As a result, you may find yourself feeling constantly anxious, stressed, or even depressed.
In such a situation, you must talk to your partner and let them know what you’ve been going through. Together, you need to make a decision about how you can manage your relationship better or maybe even take a break to focus on healing. It’s also imperative that you seek timely help from a mental health professional to work through these issues. If you’re considering getting help but don’t know where to find it, skilled and experienced counselors on Bonobology’s panel are here for you.
Related Reading: Practical Steps To Deal With Depression – Our Panel Of Therapists Tell You
12. Feeling emotionally distant can drive you apart
An LDR problem that most couples have to contend with is a weakening emotional connection. “I’m in a long-distance relationship, I feel disconnected from my partner. Does this mean my relationship is over?” When thoughts like these begin circling your mind or when you feel out of sync with your partner or just don’t feel drawn to them as you once did, it can be an ominous sign that your relationship is in trouble.
Now, that doesn’t necessarily mean that there is scope left to make the relationship work. However, reviving a fading connection in an LDR needs a lot of effort from both partners. Are you up for it? That’s a question you and your partner need to answer honestly.
13. Dealing with a possessive partner can be overwhelming
Your partner may become more possessive in a long-distance relationship than they are whenever you’re both together. It’s not hard to see why. One of the harsh facts of long-distance relationships is that being physically apart can make even the most level-headed person paranoid. It is easy to panic about your partner’s whereabouts and activities when they are so far away from you.
If your partner is internally scared all the time, it will result in possessive and suffocating behaviors. It may only be a phase but it can be a rough one to get through. Your best bet in such a situation is to do what you can to reassure them, but the onus of reining in these negative thoughts is really on them.
14. You may feel like you don’t know your partner anymore
When you’re away from your partner, you may not be able to witness all the changes they experience. Perhaps your partner had a strong sweet tooth and when you see them next, you discover they have given up sugar completely. Or maybe they’ve started enjoying going on hikes. Or their taste in music has changed. While these changes may have occurred over time, they may appear sudden and drastic to you, leaving you feeling disconnected in a long-distance relationship.
You might even feel like you do not know them anymore or vice versa. While the changes may be benign, they could seem threatening. A simple solution to this seemingly complex long-distance relationship problem is to always keep each other in the loop about decisions big and small. Whether you’re trying the Keto diet or quitting your job, always talk to your partner before making a decision.
15. Making time for traveling or lack thereof
Being in a long-distance relationship means that you have to be prepared to travel with your partner and to see your partner. From hopping on flights on free weekends or planning elaborately long vacations, you will see the airport a lot. However, it can be challenging to always find the time or money to travel. You might not be able to sacrifice every Saturday family dinner in order to fly to see your SO. Managing your work and life with traveling can be a major struggle. But with some smart planning, you can pull it off.
Related Reading: Travel for two: Going away on a luxury vacation
16. Reconnecting might be different
Constantly, oscillating between being apart and together can be one of the less-anticipated challenges of long-distance relationships. After those first few days or hours of heady romance and hot, steamy sex, you may feel out of sync with your partner. Moving in and out of one’s space repeatedly can give birth to lots of mixed emotions of being happy, sad, fearful, and insecure. Nobody can robotically be happy one day and then just go back to being the way it was once you are separated again. Unfortunately, there is not much that can be done about this harsh reality of LDRs. You just have to tough it up and see it through.
17. Time will always be scarce
Feeling like you never have enough time with your partner is a persistent LDR problem. Whether it is a coffee break phone conversation or a three-day trip to see your SO, the clock might always be ticking inside your mind. This can make one feel anxious and on edge all the time, hindering your ability to make the most of the quality time you do get to spend together because a part of you is dreading the impending parting that will leave you all on your own again. A promise and tentative plan to meet again can help ease some of this anxiousness and that sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach, if not eliminate it altogether.
18. Being around other couples can make you long for your SO
Watching other couples living it up might make you feel jealous in a way that is unfair to them. Looking at them might also make you want more from your relationship which can lead to unrealistic expectations. In no situation ever, should another couple be used as a yardstick to measure the success of one’s relationship. You do not know what their troubles and challenges are, and it’s best not to fall into the comparison trap.
Frequently Asked Questions
1. How do you get through a hard time in a long-distance relationship?
By talking things out, expressing yourself, being honest, and being willing to listen to the other person. You must keep putting yourself in the other person’s shoes if you want to make a long-distance relationship work.
2. What is the hardest part of a long-distance relationship?
The hardest part is missing your partner’s physical presence. Moreover, a lot of anxiety also comes in long-distance relationships from worrying about your partner and missing them.
3. What are the disadvantages of a long-distance relationship?
You might feel lonely more often and question your relationship. You will also have to master the art of time management. You will miss your partner often and even undergo bouts of jealousy and doubt.
4. Why do most long-distance relationships fail?
This is because most couples are unable to align their end goals with each other. It is important to practice healthy communication, conflict resolution and establish trust.
Key Pointers
- Long-distance relationships come with their share of hardships and challenges
- Loneliness, insecurity, trust issues, and a fading emotional connection are some of the common long-distance relationship issues
- In addition to that, even typical relationship problems like lack of communication, conflict resolution, setting expectations, and negotiating space can become harder when distance is thrown into the mix
- Honest and open communication, transparency, and consistent effort can help you tide over these LDR problems and keep your connection strong despite the distance
Final Thoughts
Long-distance relationship problems can seem daunting and overwhelming at the outset. But together, you and your partner can find a way around them. Open and honest communication, combined with generous amounts of empathy and understanding, is what it takes to not let problems faced in a long-distance relationship drive you apart.
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