The nervous excitement you experience when you first start feeling attracted to someone usually keeps you daydreaming for days on end. The feelings may just come out of thin air and just consume you. But when there is an aura of romance around you that you just can’t shake off, the nervous excitement is magnified tenfold. This inexplicable sense of romance being in the air is among the first signs of mutual attraction.
However, no matter how strong the pull is, the mutual attraction signs can be easy to miss (especially if you’re a guy!). But even when you begin to feel that there might really be something to sit up and take note of and that there are definitely some intense attraction signs at play, a part of you is still in doubt. You find yourself wondering, “Is the feeling mutual or am I reading too much into the situation?” Well, we’re here to help you work through this dilemma with a detailed lowdown on what magnetic attraction between two people looks like.
What Is Mutual Attraction?
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No, just because you both like rainy days or hiking in the mountains, it doesn’t mean there is an unspoken romantic attraction or that this person is meant to be your life partner. Despite how badly you want it, don’t let your irrational thinking make you believe that there is an unspoken mutual attraction where there is actually nothing happening there.
Because once the confusion wears off and when you finally come to terms with it, you might be left binging on pizza and wine, trying to “Netflix and leave me alone” through the pain. All because in let your lovestruck eyes spot intense attraction signs when there were none at all.
That’s when it’s important to establish what mutual attraction is. Well, mutual attraction is a fine blend of chemistry between a man and a woman with an undercurrent of sexual tension signs. It is characterized by an urge to be with this person and getting a vibe that they want the same thing too. It’s markedly different from platonic relationships, where you just feel comfort, calm, and a sense of friendship.
Where there’s mutual attraction, there will often be tension in the air. You’ll feel as though you’ll have something to lose and you’ll constantly be trying to impress them. Compare it to how you meet your best friend without even bothering to take a shower, and you’ll quickly understand the difference!
Related Reading: The 7 Techniques Of Stealth Attraction To Use NOW
Signs of unspoken attraction
Even when there is palpable chemistry between a man and a woman or intense attraction signs all over the place, the people involved may not be vocal about their feelings. If that sounds like the situation you’re currently in, it is imperative to learn how to read signs of unspoken attraction to discern whether the feeling is mutual. Unspoken attraction can be hard to describe but is rather easy to pick on.
Maybe their arm brushing against your shoulder or them smiling at you as they walk by your desk during work could trigger some intense feelings to well up inside you. Or say, a new guy frequenting the coffee shop you work at makes you feel all tingly inside as you fumble with the dimes at the cash register.
That’s the thing about signs of unspoken attraction between two people. Neither you nor the other person has to say or do much. Just being in each other’s presence is enough to get those hormones flowing and give you that flush in your cheeks! These intense attraction signs can be quite electric.
25 Undeniable Signs Of Mutual Attraction
Realizing a little too late that you missed signs of romantic interest and attraction from someone you were interested in can land as a brutal gut punch that can knock you out and keep you down for a long, long time. The regret. The what-ifs. The pain of dashed hopes all over again. It can be harder to recover from than rejection.
If only you could go back in time and respond with something charming to woo them! Perhaps it’s a good thing you can’t go back in time, it would take you ages to come up with something that smooth to say to them anyway. Flirting skills and jokes aside, let’s discuss the signs of mutual attraction so you don’t miss out on a potential romance where you think there could be one:
1. You both like spending time with each other
What does attraction feel like? One of the most telling indicators is that you feel drawn to that person like a moth to fire. When the feeling is mutual, so is the desire to be in each other’s company. When you two like spending quality time with each other, it’ll be noticeable in how you talk to each other. The conversations will be more engaging and you’ll be left thinking about them long after.
Related Reading: Do I Love Her? 30 Signs That Surely Say So!
2. Engaging conversations — signs of deep attraction
Their responses are never along the lines of “Oh…that’s crazy”, “Oh, really?” or even a bland, conversation-killing “Okay” or “Hmmm”. Unlike your Zoom meetings, you don’t want this conversation to end. You really engage yourself and you see them doing the same thing. Talking to them isn’t nerve-wracking nor is it difficult.
You never have to worry about how to start a conversation with them since it just comes so naturally to you. There’s instant chemistry and you two never run out of things to discuss when you are together. As a result, you two have conversations that stand out from the rest of the mindless chatter you’re forced to take part in throughout the day.
3. You make each other laugh
This is indeed one of the instant attraction signs. Laughter and humor are great ways to bond and if that comes naturally to you two, well then that’s a great sign! It means that without really trying to, you two connect so well that you just end up making each other laugh. This kind of chemistry between a man and a woman usually sets the foundation of a great, enduring connection.
4. You flirt with each other
Laughing together, having engaging conversations, and sharing the same interests are some great indicators of magnetic attraction but they can just as well be signs of a solid friendship as well. What sets romantic attraction apart from friendship is that along with all this, there is also some flirtation in your equation.
It doesn’t have to be full-blown flirting, even subtle flirtatious behaviors or even an equation edging toward being flirty could be a sign of mutual attraction between two people. Again, be careful not to misconstrue kindness for flirting. “That sweater looks nice on you!” is NOT flirting so don’t respond with bad pickup lines and ruin your chances completely.
Related Reading: 11 Surprising Examples Of Flirting That Say Someone’s Into You
5. You engage in playful banter
Playful teasing is par for the course when two people flirt with each other. However, when there is intense mutual attraction at play, this playfulness evolves into banter that fosters emotional closeness. Light-hearted and fun banter signals attraction and points to a level of comfort in the equation. It’s often a way of testing the waters to see how the other person responds. If you both often engage in light teasing or witty banter, it’s safe to say that you’re drawn to each other. It’s time you quell the self-doubt and stop asking, “Is the feeling mutual?”
6. In a group of people, you two talk to each other the most
What does attraction feel like? Like there is a string pulling you toward the person you’re attracted to. When that feeling in mutual, that pull is felt just as strongly on both sides. As a result, you may seek each other out no matter what setting. Be it a group of three or ten people, you two mostly talk to each other. This is undoubtedly one of the signs of deep attraction between two people. When this happens, it’s only a matter of time before all your friends start teasing you two.
7. Prolonged eye contact
In the movies, all it takes is 6 seconds of eye contact before the charming protagonists partake in a passionate kiss. While love in movies vs real life projects quite a discrepancy, the reel-life depiction of eye contact love signals is quite on point. One of the undeniable mutual attraction and sexual tension signs is that you can’t take your eyes off each other. Your eyes may linger on each other’s gaze. In a group, you’ll find yourself only looking at this person and notice that they’re looking at you too.
8. You find excuses to spend time with each other
Finding excuses to spend time together sounds like this, “Yeah, I’m just headed there. Hop on in, I’ll drop you!”, when you’ll actually have to take a 5-mile. But it doesn’t even feel like extra effort because you enjoy every moment spent with this person. Likewise, you may notice that they seek you out at the most bizarre pretexts, like being asked to fix a lamp you know absolutely nothing about or offer help putting together an IKEA table over a video call. This strong need to spend time together, be it in person or virtually, tells you there are signs of mutual attraction at work.
Related Reading: Am I In Love With My Best Friend? 15 Signs That Say So!
9. Their demeanor changes when they’re with you
One of the involuntary signs of attraction is a change in one’s demeanor. Since you’re trying to impress this person because you’re attracted to them, you’d want to put your best foot forward at all times. If they’re attracted to you too, you’d notice they do the same. Maybe he’s kinder when he is with you. Maybe she’s tried harder to be more open and communicative. One surefire indicator is that people around you comment about how different you both are (in a good way) when you’re together.
10. Body language gives away intense attraction signs
Body language can be a very solid indicator of what a person is feeling but not conveying through words. If you’re looking for involuntary signs of attraction, that’s where you ought to turn your attention. Body language signs of attraction such as blushing, rapid breathing, and opening up their body to you can tell you whether there’s an unspoken romantic attraction between the two of you.
11. Unconscious mirroring of movements
Speaking of involuntary signs of attraction, unconscious mirroring of each other’s movements, posture, or gestures is one you cannot miss. For example, if one person crosses their legs or touches their face, the other might do the same shortly after. Psychologists call this “mirroring”—a subconscious way of saying, “I’m in sync with you.” If you notice that both of you frequently align your body language, from the way you sit to the hand gestures you use, it’s a strong indicator of mutual attraction and also a sign of compatibility and rapport.
12. You see them making an effort to make you smile
Despite the natural connection and organic laughter, you may notice that they sometimes go the extra mile to make you smile. This is one of the signs of mutual attraction that people often discover in their initial days of dating. When a person makes an effort to make you smile and laugh in whatever way possible, it’s because they feel a special emotional connection to you. Or, they could be an aspiring stand-up comedian too, trying out their set on you.
13. Your friends tease you two
Your friends will be the first to notice any signs of mutual attraction between you two. How they choose to convey it, is entirely up to them, of course. Our bet is they’re going to go in, no holds barred, making fun of you two the next time you’re all together. Leaving you shy and blushing bright enough to power two small bulbs!
Related Reading: 10 Things That Count As Emotional Attraction And Tips To Recognize It
14. You confide in each other
Naturally, when your conversations are engaging, you’ll feel a sense of comfort with this person, as they will with you. Hence, you might find yourself confiding in each other, telling each other your secrets and things you might not tell anyone else. You feel as though a safe space has been formed, void of judgment and insecurities.
When this is coupled with sexual tension signs, the mutual attraction will shine through as clear as day. If you’re still unable to spot it and keep wondering, “Is the feeling mutual?”, we hope a friend will knock some sense into you and help you realize all the strong mutual attraction signs that are at play.
15. Signs of deep attraction — hints of physical intimacy
This is undoubtedly the biggest sign of unspoken mutual attraction. It could be anything from standing within close proximity of each other to finding a reason to touch each other. You could be sitting close to each other or just find any excuse you can to be as close as possible. When this happens between two people, there could also be palpable sexual tension.
16. You’ve heard of them asking around about you
It’s not the most reliable sign, we agree, but it’s a sign nonetheless. If your mutuals—friends, acquaintances, coworkers—have been telling you that this person has been asking a lot of questions about you and taking an inordinate interest in your life, it’s quite a strong indicator of their feelings toward you.
For instance, if reliable friends at your workplace have told you a certain somebody you’ve been crushing on has been asking about your dating life and wants to know if you’re single, it could well be the case of mutual attraction between coworkers. However, make sure your sources are credible. You don’t want to imagine a future together based on some ill-placed rumor. Before you know it, you’re sliding into their DMs only to be rejected!
17. You mimic each other’s mannerisms
One of the clear signs of mutual attraction is when you two start talking similarly, using the same tone of voice or even saying the same things. If there’s something you say a lot and you catch this person saying it too, they’re subconsciously mimicking how you talk. This is often a direct outcome of feeling magnetically drawn to someone. Even if you don’t notice it immediately, the people around you will notice it almost instantly. When the connection is so strong that you start mimicking each other, signs of chemistry between you two will be hard to miss.
Related Reading: 12 Clear Signs You Are Infatuated And Not In Love
18. You miss each other all the time
One of the most obvious signs of mutual attraction is that you miss each other when you’re not together. This lovesickness, naturally, translates to long conversations, be it over calls, texts, or video calls. If you text back and forth throughout the day, sharing every little detail of your day virtually, and then top it off with phone calls while driving, and video calls at night, there is definitely a strong current of attraction and perhaps even deeper feelings involved. One sure way to know if these feelings are mutual is that you’re not the only one initiating contact. They take just as much initiative to be in touch with you.
19. Notice if they dress up to see you
If this person cares about what you think about them, they’ll most probably put a lot of thought and effort into dressing up every time they have to be around you. Keep an eye out for if they’re making a special effort to make you notice them. Especially if they don’t otherwise care much for fashion. Mousse in his hair, a new lipstick, a new scent, or a fresh manicure—feeling magnetically drawn to someone can make a person pull all the stops. Clearly, they’re going to some lengths to impress a girl or guy that they feel intensely for.
20. Signs of unspoken attraction—you can just feel it
Yup, some strong mutual attraction signs can’t really be pointed out but they can be felt. Which is why, we’d advise you to go with your gut when it comes to noticing signs of unspoken attraction. If you can feel a physical attraction, feel like you two have engaging conversations, and you always have them at the top of your chats, it’s time to stop overthinking it and just follow where your heart leads and confess to your crush.
21. You’re each other’s “go-to” person for exciting updates
When two people are attracted to each other, they feel the need to share exciting news or life updates with one another first, even before telling friends or family. If that’s where you’re at with a person you’re attracted to, know that your connection is strong and intimate. You value each other’s opinions and feel invested in each other’s happiness or even minor life details.
22. You give each other compliments (and mean them)
Compliments for a woman or man are a known way of expressing admiration. When mutual attraction is involved, they often become more meaningful and personal. Rather than generic compliments like “You look nice,” these compliments might be specific to your personality, achievements, or little quirks that the other person finds endearing.
Related Reading: 27 Ways To Tell Someone You Love Them Without Saying It
23. You remember the little things about each other
When someone is attracted to you, they tend to remember small details that you’ve shared with them, no matter how seemingly insignificant. Your favorite coffee order. A story about your childhood. An upcoming event you’re excited about. If they remember small, specific details about your life without being prompted, it shows they’ve been paying close attention, which is a strong sign of mutual attraction.
24. A desire to know more
A deep interest in each other and a desire to learn more about one another’s life, experiences, and opinions are among the most classic signs of mutual attraction. If they ask thoughtful questions, engage in meaningful conversations, and genuinely want to understand what makes you tick, you should know that the attraction is mutual and they’re keen on building a deeper connection with you.
25. You have inside jokes
Inside jokes are an organic by-product of shared experiences and understanding, and a level of intimacy that others may not be privy to. These jokes or humorous references create a special connection, solidifying a sense of “us” between the two people involved. If you and the other person have developed inside jokes or references that only the two of you understand, it’s a clear indicator of mutual attraction and connection.
FAQs
1. Can you feel mutual attraction?
‘Can you feel mutual attraction?’ is a question to which the answer is certainly a whopping big “Yes!” You can absolutely feel a sense of mutual attraction when it’s there. The biggest signs of mutual attraction include: being in close physical proximity, having engaging conversations, cheering them up, mimicking each other’s mannerisms, and flirting through words/touches.
2. Can you sense when someone is attracted to you?
Most times, you’ll be able to tell when someone is attracted to you. You’ll see them putting in more of an effort to be kinder with you. Their demeanor may change around you and they’ll try a little bit harder to make you laugh. Once the physical touches start flowing both ways, it’ll be easier to sense you two are attracted to each other!
Key Pointers
- Mutual attraction is a fine blend of chemistry with an undercurrent of sexual tension
- Unspoken attraction can be hard to describe but is rather easy to pick on
- Signs of mutual attraction include wanting to spend time together, engaging conversations, laughter, flirting, banter, and inclination for intimacy
- Your gut feeling is often the most accurate barometer for assessing whether there is mutual attraction at play
Final Thoughts
Being certain about whether a person is into you or not can be tricky. You want to make sure they’re into you lest you jump into something that doesn’t exist. But you also don’t want to spend too much time pondering this question, in case they just move on and you’re left feeling confused and alone. Through these signs, we hope you can figure out if mutual attraction really does exist. Or you know, you could just ask them, maybe!
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