Subtlety is an art few have mastered. Most men, when making a move, go for obvious methods of approach. A strong pick-up line, or the usual, “Can I have your number?” Standing out amidst this mad scramble of gents is a tough task. But here are 7 stealth attraction methods that will guarantee success without you needing to do much show and tell.
With just a little well-thought effort from your end, you can be a hit at clubs and bars. Because hitting it off with the ladies isn’t as hard as you’ve been made to believe. But hey, what is stealth attraction exactly? We’re here to answer this question by spilling the beans on the stealth arousal triggers and techniques.
What Is Stealth Attraction?
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This term is something Richard La Ruina (a London-based pickup artist and founder of PUA training) came up with when he taught a course on approaching women for hookups and casual dating rules. Richard La Ruina, sneaky (and sometimes, problematic) as ever, focused on women’s unconscious minds. He wanted to target the things that women found attractive but were unaware of.
While overt (direct) approaches are the norm of the day, stealth attraction uses covert (secret) methods to woo a woman. His theory had five components – stealth value, stealth opening, stealth seduction, stealth arousal, and stealth extraction. Hmmm, sounds like a military mission, right? In fact, stealth meaning in military parlance is: “carrying an action out secretly, so that people don’t know what’s happening”.
La Ruina claimed that his stealth attraction steps are rejection-proof. And a lot of other studies do suggest that unconscious forces play a significant role in human attraction. Women tend to notice factors like:
- Facial hair/ facial symmetry
- Clothing
- Smile
- Posture
- Eye contact
In his podcast, La Ruina said, “If you want to seduce a woman, then you must go deep. And no, I don’t mean that in a sexual way. What I mean is that you must look beyond the superficial and the obvious and go deeper into who a woman really is. What does she like, what does she dislike, what lights her up, where do her passions lay?”
Related Reading: 18 Simple Tricks To Get A Girl’s Attention
“When you understand who a woman is, attraction becomes inevitable and it is no longer a game where you are trying to get something.” Using La Ruina as a starting point, let’s dig deeper into stealth seduction phrases. Given below are simple tricks that actually work. Ready? Set…Go!
7 Techniques Of Stealth Attraction That You Can Use
As we’ve established, stealth attraction is super sneaky. It works its way into a woman’s mind and gets her to think, “Hey, who’s THAT guy?” Now, stealth attraction was initially created to facilitate one-night stands or casual hookups. But these tips given below can be used in any dating scenario.
And while good looks play a key role in attraction, this list is broader in its perspective. It’s unreasonable to expect washboard abs from all men – ridiculous beauty standards go both ways. No matter what kind of a guy you are, or what your background is, this stealth attraction program can come in handy.
For example, if you’re a shy guy, you may find it hard to impress women. A confident man is what she’s looking for. But how can you boost your self-confidence? Take a breath and stop worrying – it isn’t rocket science! Let’s start exploring some practical examples.
1. A step here, and a step there
When I’m approached by a complete stranger at a café or club, I’m usually a little flustered. Because I’m in the middle of something, and a man magically appears, asking if I’d like a drink. I either have to come up with an excuse instantly, or I go all “ummm hmmm hmmm”. A marvelous stealth attraction technique is avoiding this super direct approach:
- If you’ve got your eyes on a girl in a public space, make eye contact, smile a little, and walk by her
- Make a one-line conversation about something generic
- Give it a solid 15-25 minutes so she’s well aware of your presence (and maybe even your intentions)
- If she decides she’s not interested, she won’t reciprocate your little gestures
This way, you’ll get an idea of whether she’s inclined toward you or not. This is a smart way of asking for her number because it will give her some time to think (unconsciously). At the very least, you won’t take her by complete surprise. The psychology behind this is ‘priming’. According to this theory, the first stimulus affects the response of a person to the second stimulus.
2. All talk and no play makes Jack a dull boy
Let’s get this straight once and for all; body language plays a very, very important part in attraction. For example, a man who can hold a woman’s gaze is hot. Don’t be in a rush to hook up. Enjoy the slow build-up of intense chemistry from a slight distance and notice the stealth arousal triggers get fired up! Remember this about non-verbal communication:
- Tense muscles, clenched jaw, or folded arms are really uncomfortable to look at
- Keep your body language ‘open’ (no, this does not mean man-spread)
- Face the person you’re talking to, and don’t lean back/slouch
- Say cheese and put a warm/seductive/naughty smile on your face
In his YouTube videos, Richard La Ruina talks in detail about the importance of non-verbal cues. He emphasizes that you should be yourself, even if that means doing silly moves on the dance floor. While showing that you don’t take yourself too seriously, you can wave or raise your glass to a get response from your crush.
Related Reading: How To Ask A Girl Out On A Date – 18 Tips To Make Her Say Yes
3. Never go in for the swoop
‘Micro-escalation’ is an important stealth technique. Take your time, don’t rush. I present a hypothetical situation. Your date has just ended and you’re walking toward her car. You think the time has come to move in for a kiss. How do you trigger a woman’s attraction?
- Pay her a genuine compliment first
- Let your eyes skim her face (FACE ONLY), then her lips
- Then, hold her gaze and ask her if you can kiss her
That’s the right way – ask her (the stealth seduction words could be as simple as vocalizing your thoughts/desires). If you get the green light, go ahead. This gentle flow into the kiss is so much better than a quick, sudden, and possibly non-consensual lean-in. Not only does it make communication clearer, but also makes your sexual experience safer and more comfortable. Consent in dating is very important, and in this way, seeking consent can become your stealth attraction words.
4. First impressions rule
How to seduce any woman in 60 seconds? If we’re being strictly technical, you have one-tenth of a second to make an impression (YES!). Research reveals that all it takes is one-tenth of a second to form an impression of a stranger from their face and that longer exposures don’t significantly alter those impressions. Perhaps, that’s why they say, the first impression is the last impression.
In fact, according to a study, the fit of a man’s clothes can influence how women perceive him. Another study revealed that something as minute as the cut of a man’s suit matters! So, beloved men, personal hygiene and a sense of style are ultimate stealth attraction techniques. If we have learned anything from the pickup artist university headed by HIMYM’s Barney Stinson, it’s his two-word advice – “Suit up!”
Besides personal hygiene, a study published in the Journal of Evolutionary Biology suggests that women considered men with heavy stubble as being more attractive compared to their clean-shaven and full-bearded counterparts. So, it may help your cause to grow some facial hair. Here are some more easy tips on grooming:
- Practice a skin care routine/treat yourself with self-care gifts
- Invest in a new pair of white sneakers/dressy shoes
- Get your eyebrows waxed/tweeze them at home
Related Reading: What Qualities In Men Attract Women The Most?
5. Self-conviction: Am I worth it?
Who hasn’t been anxious before approaching an individual? We all feel insecure, hence the clammy forehead and sweaty palms. But this tentativeness and approach anxiety can actually hold you back and affect your love life. In his Sweden convention, La Ruina said, “It’s the worst feeling to go home with regrets that the eye contact could have been something more!”
So, work on building your conviction and self-esteem; it’s an essential prerequisite to figuring out how to use stealth attraction to your advantage. She can’t reject you if you stop rejecting yourself. My friend, Carl, struggled with approaching women for a very long time. Even when he managed to walk up to them, he’d chicken out or stammer away.
But he decided to work on this problem using self-affirmations. He stopped comparing himself to others, which took so much of the pressure off. If you want to get a girl to like you, remember that confidence is one of the 7 secrets of stealth attraction. So when you ask me, how do you trigger a woman’s attraction? I say, by knowing that you can.
In his podcast, La Ruina said, “It’s so easy to get comfortable. To do the same things day in and day out. To stay stuck in a rut because it is easy and requires no mental effort. But if you want to really live life to the fullest, you need to dive in and explore the world that we live in. Get out of your bubble and go try new things:
- Take dance lessons
- Learn to cook
- Pickup that old guitar you left lying around
- Take a course
- Start a garden”
6. Be a mystery man
Oversharing will be the bane of potential matches. Please stop narrating your life stories to someone you just met. Let her think, “I wonder what’s on his mind? Does he like me enough?” Don’t give away how interested you are because you’ll seem desperate. Mystery always intensifies the dynamic two people share; it lends a sexy vibe to the setting. Before you know it, the signs of mutual attraction will get hard to ignore. Try these handy tips:
- Use stealth seduction words like, “You’ve got me hooked”
- Add non-verbal cues like glances, touches and smiles
- Try building rapport by being a good listener
One study conducted by Faye Doell (2003) showed that there are two different types of listening: “listening to understand” and “listening to respond”. Those who “listen to understand” have greater satisfaction in their interpersonal relationships than others. While people may think they might be listening to understand, what they’re really doing is waiting to respond.
Related Reading: 13 Surprisingly Simple Tips On How To Make Someone Fall In Love With You
7. Crystal clear intentions
You can avoid the next-morning awkwardness by being clear from the outset. Is it a hookup you’re interested in or something more? Whatever your intentions, be straightforward and honest in conveying them. No woman should feel that she was tricked into sleeping with you. Even a study shows that honest people are perceived to be more attractive by our unconscious.
Yes, girls love honest guys. And they love guys who genuinely appreciate them with stealth attraction words. So, here are 7 sneaky words that make any woman want you:
- “I love the way your eyes shine”
- “Thinking about your smile gives me goosebumps”
- “I want you so bad right now”
Pros And Cons Of Stealth Attraction
The original stealth attraction program was solely focused on how to seduce women and get laid. That is why many people perceive it as a stealth seduction ‘scam’. To understand what this seduction technique amounts to, let’s look at the two sides when it comes to the original La Ruina tactics. So, here’s the stealth attraction review that you need:
| PROS | CONS |
| Stealthy seduction is rejection-proof | It’s a dating advice manual for seduction skills |
| Gives female arousal trigger words | A self-respecting woman might call you manipulative |
| A stealth seducer knows desire system tricks | Teaches instant access instead of serious relationships |
| Stealth attraction texting beats approach anxiety | Stealth meaning/3 second attraction curbs organic flow |
But, our take on stealth attraction doesn’t require you to be sneaky. All you have to do is work on your self-esteem and groom yourself well. You don’t have to ‘play tricks’ to get a woman. You just have to become the best version of yourself.
Key Pointers
- Good body language is the ultimate stealth attraction secret
- To get instant access, you have to work on your self-esteem
- The stealth attraction has both pros and cons
- Be it stealth attraction texting or using stealth attraction words in person, it’s imperative to be honest about your intentions
- While stealth attraction secret words are effective, it’s also easy to misuse them to your advantage. That’s why you must know the difference between stealthily attracting someone and manipulating them
Here we reach the end of our 7 secrets of stealth attraction. I hope, by now, you have the answer to questions like “Does stealth attraction really work?” or “How to use stealth attraction to woo a girl?”. The key takeaway is – covert > overt, and unconscious > conscious. More body, less talk! Feel free to come back to us for more advice on attraction, dating, relationships, and basically everything.
Let’s end with a quote by Richard La Ruina, “The skills that you learn by going on dates will actually translate into every area of life. Understanding how to carry on a conversation will help you grow your social circle, and learning to overcome and handle rejection will help you become unstoppable in whatever endeavor you choose to pursue.”
FAQs
You can use just 3 words to make a woman want you. If it’s approach anxiety with your ex, simply text “You remember this?”. Or “This picture has me remembering good times.” There’s also the Michael Fiore four-word question that every man hates to hear i.e. “Do you love me?” because it triggers their relationship anxiety.
If she makes prolonged eye contact with you or laughs at your bad jokes, these are signs a woman is attracted to you. Also, if she ‘accidentally’ touches you a lot or wants to spend alone time with you, she has definitely got her eyes on you, in the busy street of men hitting on her.
Yes and one stealth attraction secret is to show off those pearly whites. Relationship coach Swaty Prakash says, “Smile because it represents a warm and friendly personality. If you have a disarming smile going for you, make sure you flaunt it as much as you can. Your built and dressing sense set the first impression but a bright and confident smile is what’s going to keep her around.”
In one study conducted by economist Raymond Fisman and colleagues for Columbia University, 392 single men and women were invited to participate in a speed dating event. Each participant went on between 10 and 20 four-minute speed dates. They then rated the attractiveness, intelligence, and ambition of each person they met. The results of this study prompt that women care about intelligence roughly twice as much as men. So, being smart definitely makes it to the list of qualities of a good man, from a woman’s point of view.
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