Online dating apps and sites have become the go-to place for finding love in our tech-driven world. Anyone navigating this maze is bound to wonder how to date online successfully, at some point. After all, we have all either heard about or experienced first-hand the horrible experiences surrounding this approach to dating or have tried to find real, meaningful connections but to no avail. 

It’s only natural, then, to feel a little jittery about the prospect of finding love in the virtual realm. Nonetheless, there have been tons of stories of online dating success too. And they leave us wondering about how some people find such solid relationships in the ever-fickle world of virtual dating.

Well, we think all you need is to learn how to maneuver your way through, separate the wheat from the chaff, and find a way to stand out in the crowd. So, let’s get started with our in-depth analysis of online dating etiquette and explore a few tips on how to improve dating profiles. 

21 Tips To Date Online Successfully And Find Your Ideal Partner

Now this is a million-dollar question: what is the right strategy for finding the right mate online? Well, there is no one-size-fits-all approach on how to date online. Fortunately, there are certain broad guidelines that can help you break free from the cycles of endless left and right swipes. The recipe for success in online dating is focusing on aligning your dating goals with your life goals, finding a perfect match who resonates with you, and dating effortlessly. That’s the best online dating advice in a nutshell. 

Whether you’re struggling with dating fatigue or have only just started with your online dating pursuits and have no clue as to how to go about it, we are here to make things easier. Take note of these 21 actionable tips for online dating and find your ideal partner. We hope you will not have any doubts on how to be successful on dating apps after going through them:

1. Know what you want 

Whether you’re looking for online dating tips for beginners or have been struggling to make headway in the dating world for a long time, this is a non-negotiable factor for dating online successfully. Before you start looking for matches or even create a new profile, take a moment to understand what you want out of online dating:

• Are you looking for a casual short-term relationship? 
• Do you want a potential long-term partnership?
• Do you wish to date to marry?
• Do you just want a one-night stand?

The whole approach to how to date online can change depending on what you seek from the experience. The first thing you should do is gain clarity on that front.

Related Reading: The Ultimate Funny Online Dating Questions

2. Choose the right platform 

If you often wonder how to date online effectively or how to be successful on dating apps, well, you need to choose the platform that’s perfect for you. Gone are the days when online dating was synonymous with swiping on dating apps such as Tinder or Bumble. Today, users have access to many alternative dating apps, each with a distinct USP and target audience. So, find a platform that aligns perfectly with your dating goals.

Don’t blindly sign up on every platform that you know of or make too many profiles on dating sites. But take the time to determine the best dating sites that align with your goals and create profiles on at least a couple of them. Finding the right mate online becomes a lot less intimidating when you’re interacting with like-minded people with common interests and similar life goals.

Rashminder Kaur, an entrepreneur tells us, “One has to first decide which online portal is best for your needs. Are you looking for a casual connection, a long-term relationship, or marriage? My criterion was to find someone with whom I shared my spiritual path. So, I created a profile on SpiritualSingles.com.”

3. Choose your pictures mindfully

This is a crucial part of the process of dating online. Put some time and effort into clicking the photos you want to post on your dating profile. Being yourself doesn’t mean using a photo of you sitting in your PJs with a tub of ice cream on your lap. Whether we like it or not, aesthetics play an important role in the blossoming of romantic connections. So, you can try the following tips if you’re confused about how to date online:

• Put your best foot forward and make your pictures as appealing as possible
• Steer clear of the Photoshop trap
• Don’t hide any perceived ‘flaws’ just for the sake of getting hits. For instance, don’t make yourself appear slimmer or fairer 
• Embrace whatever you think is flawed about your body, and then, embellish yourself a little to create some eye-catching photos

Related Reading: Ikka Dukki: When He Pretended To Be Someone Else On Tinder

4. Add a thoughtful bio 

The key to figuring out how to find someone on a dating site lies in the effort you put into your bio. Now, a lot of online resources and even dating sites tell you how to improve dating profile. Before we add on to it, remember, an online dating profile that is just a long bucket list of characteristics and traits you’re looking for in a potential match will not get you the responses you’re hoping for. Anyone who is invested in the idea of finding a long-term connection through online dating would want to get to know the person on the other side before making a move. 

Prerna Shah, a content and communications professional and the co-founder of The Good Story Project, says, “Before you write your bio for an online site, think about a couple of things that describe you in an authentic manner.” List these things down and then weave them into your bio. Your text should be simple, engaging, and most importantly, an honest reflection of you as a person. 

• Highlight interests and core values. For instance, you could jot down your love for books or your addiction to coffee
• You can mention your life goals. For instance, you could mention if you have been planning to travel the world
• You can add some details about your education and work life too, but don’t overdo it

In fact, a Lovegenius article claims, “People who show originality in their bios are seen as more intelligent and more funny,” as has been proved by studies.

5. Leverage the dating site algorithms 

If you’re wondering how to be successful on dating apps, well, remember, an app needs to understand who you are in order to be able to suggest relevant matches. To make that happen, you need to leverage the dating site algorithms the right way. If done right, that could be half the battle won. So, here are some tips that could come in handy if you want to know how to get more matches on dating apps:

• Invest time to answer the quizzes and fill up surveys that the platform prompts you to take part in
• Use the right filters and advanced search settings
• Put enough information about yourself out there 

Related Reading: Looking For The Perfect Headline For Dating Site? 200+ Ideas

6. Update your profile often

This is often a crucial part of the process of dating online that people often miss out on. If the suggestions on your profile seem stale and repetitive, it’s a reflection of a stale and outdated profile. As soon as you notice this pattern, revisit your profile to see what you can change, edit, and update. Here are some tips to create a good online dating profile:

• Add new photos every month
• Include recent life updates in your bio, such as a new pet
• Avoid posting old photos from the holidays just because you look cute in them

7. Block liberally

Just like you should know how to find someone on a dating site, you should also be aware of how to avoid profiles that don’t align with your goals. This comes especially handy when you’re wondering how to date online as a woman. 

If you feel that your profile is attracting creeps more than potential matches or the suggestions are not relevant, don’t hesitate to hit the block or remove button. This will help declutter your profile and filter out potential matches. At the end of the day, online dating is not only about finding love but also about having a good time while ensuring your own safety. 

8. Avoid the beige flags

Now, we’ve all heard of green and red flags. While green flags are positive traits that attract you to a person, red flags are traits that you’d rather avoid. But what are beige flags? Well, beige flags are traits that are what Gen-Z would call ‘meh’ They are traits that make you rather uninteresting and dull and are neither a cause of concern nor something that attracts people to you. And it’s better to avoid beige flags in your profile to date online. Some beige flag examples are:

• “I love coffee” (Now, most of us do, but this doesn’t say anything special about you)
• “I am fond of adventure” (This sounds vague if you don’t state what adventure means to you)
• “I like nature” (but are you into hiking, trekking, or luxury trips?)

Related Reading: 6 types of men on Tinder that you should avoid

9. Keep your expectations realistic

How to find someone on a dating site, how to get more matches on dating apps, and how to be successful on dating apps are all very common queries, especially among those who are new to the online dating scene and have a Utopian view of how dating apps work. 

You match with 10 people or 20. Filter out half of that number. Talk to them. Go on the first date. Then, a second. Develop a meaningful connection with at least one of them. Well, sounds pretty easy, right? Sorry to burst your bubble, it is often trickier than that. This is the reason why keeping your expectations realistic is one of the most crucial online dating tips for beginners. 

Albert Arul Prakash Rajendran, an agile coach who previously ran a dating site, has a phenomenal idea to add to this list. He tells us, “On dating apps, there are a lot of filters to enhance the physical appearance in the photos. Many do that to showcase themselves as beautiful as possible. But when we meet in person, reality hits hard and tells a different story.” And this isn’t just about looks. You could be deceived by how a person showcases their wealth or how they highlight their social connections. It could all be fluffed up and fake. So, be prepared to get a real picture.

10. Be committed

If you’re serious about finding the right mate online and are wondering how to be successful at online dating, you have to commit yourself to the process of looking for a great match. This means you need to adopt one or all of the following:

• Investing time and money (in premium memberships)
• Making it a habit to spend at least a couple of hours daily on the dating platforms you’ve signed up on
• Looking for quality matches, analyzing their profiles, and using the right conversation starters to hit it off with those you’ve already connected with

Related Reading: Don’t get lured into a relationship based on a person’s social media profile

11. Sound optimistic 

To figure out how to date online effectively, think about what you would look for in a profile if you’re considering dating a person. Would you lean in favor of someone who uses words like ‘easy-going’, ‘fun’, ‘relaxed’, and ‘happy’ to describe themselves? Or would you be drawn to someone who chooses words like ‘hard taskmaster’, ‘ambitious’, ‘loner’, or ‘recluse’? The former, right?

Well, there is no reason why a person looking at your profile wouldn’t feel the same way too. So, focus on highlighting your optimistic and bright side on your dating profile. Yes, being genuine is great, but try and keep the cynical aspects of your personality dormant, at least in the initial stages, for dating online successfully. 

And if you’re really in a bad place mentally, avoid using dating apps as an easy escape route. As psychotherapist Gopa Khan says, “When you’re not happy with yourself or when you feel lonely, a dating app is the last thing you need. Since you’ll fall for the first person who’s available, it’s more likely you’ll end up in an abusive relationship.”

12. Try to move onto phone calls, not immediately, but gradually

One of the things that get in the way of online dating success is stunted conversation. While it’s wise to use those Tinder openers to get things started, you need to switch to real phone conversations gradually to get to know a person. This is because when you’re talking to a complete stranger, you usually don’t get a sense of who they really are from their text messages. 

A person conveys so much through the tone of their voice, the way they emphasize certain words, the sound of their laughter, and so on. So, get over your inhibitions and make that first call once you sense that your connection with someone could materialize into something meaningful. This is the solution to the ‘how to be successful at online dating’ conundrum.

Related Reading: 21 Secret Ways To Say “I Love You” In Text

13. Research your date

When you start interacting with a match, invest a little into researching your online date before meeting them in person. This is how you can go about it:

• Start by asking them their full name
• A quick internet search can lead you to their social media profiles. What a person shares on Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter, or Instagram can tell you a lot about their thoughts, values, and outlook toward life
• Try to always keep a check on them if you feel you want to commit to them in any manner. A bit of stalking isn’t bad when you wish to know a person well before going forward
• Go for subtle cues: Watch the language they use, the kind of feelings they share, and their truthfulness in conversations

14. Do not send intimate photos initially 

Women, unfortunately, have to bear the brunt of this more than men. Unless it is a mutually agreed-upon move, do not surprise your online date with a photo of your intimate parts. It is uncalled for and downright repulsive in the beginning, especially if you’re just getting to know someone.

Here is some advice for women too: avoid sending selfies or intimate photos unless you trust the other person. These photos can be misused if things don’t work out, and revenge porn can have a devastating impact on your life. 

Related Reading: Sending Nudes? Our Cyber Safety Experts Say You Shouldn’t

15.  Learn to accept rejection gracefully

Be prepared for rejection in love, as it is part and parcel of understanding how to find someone on a dating site. Be it a rejection, a breakup, or a cold shoulder, people often react unfavorably to a “no”. A negative reaction in online dating can be doubly difficult to accept, especially if it is done over text or through DMs/calls. In fact, studies have shown that “highly rejection-sensitive people fear that their romantic partner will reject them and they overreact to any ambiguous cues that might indicate rejection.”

So instead of getting bogged down by rejections, look at them as a means to help you move away from people who are not in sync with your personality and move on to people who are actually ‘your type’. Counseling psychologist Kavita Panyam says, “Love is all about giving and receiving. It’s important you understand that when you are not receiving anything from a person, you need to stop obsessing over them.”

16. Don’t keep harping on the ex

One of our most important tips for online dating is to not keep pestering your date to find out about their past relationships. This can be one of the biggest turn-offs in any relationship. Sometimes ignorance is bliss. So, don’t ask them questions such as:

• What’s your body count?
• Why did you and your ex break up?
• How many relationships have you been into?
• Why are you still single?

Related Reading:Being Friends With An Ex After Breakup

17. Go easy on those texts and calls

You met your date online. Fine. You liked them. Fine. You exchanged numbers. Fine. Now don’t start texting 10 times a day and don’t start tagging them every tweet. Don’t force yourself or the other person to be in touch all the time. People have lives, and so do you. So, give them their space and nurture it.

Talking about how people should interact in the initial days of dating, a Reddit user says, “With a new girl you should try to avoid sending 2 or 3 messages in a row, which is why the 1 message for 1 message is good to keep in mind. Keep it concise and to the point. Don’t try to build a relationship (romantic or otherwise) over text either. Texting is for logistics (especially at the beginning). Get to know each other in person.”

18. Don’t jump at every profile

In this infinite pool of prospective matches, you may find many profiles attractive. But don’t jump at each one thinking this person is the one. Browse carefully and make a well-informed choice. If five people ask you out, you don’t have to go out with all of them. 

This paves the way for new-age patterns of benching dating and fishing dating, which are just manifestations of an inability to decide on one person. The need to constantly keep your options open isn’t necessarily a good thing. It also messes with your mental health and your ability to commit. Likewise, it’s easy to get addicted to validation in the online dating world and you may be hooked to getting compliments, as you will get a “Hi, gorgeous!” with every right swipe. 

Psychotherapist Dr. Aman Bhonsle says, “In the real world, it’s very difficult to find someone who will genuinely compliment you about how you look or how you work or any other aspect. That’s mostly because people aren’t too liberal with it, since most might not even know how to give compliments to someone. And when you’ve got a quick fix for it in your pocket, the reasons behind a dating app addiction are clear to see.” So, get rid of this addiction of latching onto compliments and jumping from profile to profile.

Related Reading: 12 Clear Signs You Are Infatuated And Not In Love

19. Be prepared to be ghosted

You could meet someone online and really hit it off. You may even meet them in person and have the best time of your life. But picture this: Right after two dates, just when you could be looking forward to meeting them more often, they could just vanish into thin air. We hate to break it to you: you’ve been ghosted! 

Yes, ghosting is bad. As Dr. Juhi Pandey says, “It is always better to be upfront and honest rather than ghosting someone you love or have been romantically involved with. You can simply communicate what you are going through and make things easier and better for both the partners.” But ghosting is a dark reality of the dating world these days.

Speaking about their brush with ghosting, a Reddit user says, “So, I met this girl IRL at a cafe, was brave enough to ask for her number which she happily provided. We went on Date 1 a couple days later—spent 3 hrs, held hands, kissed etc. Date 2 same story. She then went away for a week-long work event; we were supposed to meet when she got back and she promised to send me some pics from her work hiking activity. 3 days later, I text her to ask how’s the work trip going and where are those hiking pics 🙂 no response. 2 days later I text – hey you vanished, hope a grizzly didn’t get you 😉 no response.”

Ghosting is a downside of online dating but a reality you can’t escape. Accept ghosting without losing your sanity and move on. Don’t harm or blame yourself for it. Ghosting is just a manifestation of bad dating etiquette.

20. Avoid sketchy profiles

Have you come across dating profiles with sketchy details and blurry photos? Or scanty bios that convey little to nothing about the person? Well, no matter how eager you are to find success in your online dating endeavors, steer clear of such sketchy profiles. After all, with someone withholding information about themselves, you have no way of knowing if they’re a creep or an axe murderer. It’s not worth jeopardizing your safety in the pursuit of love. 

Related Reading: Dating A Player – Follow These 11 Rules To Not Get Hurt

21. Don’t force yourself into online dating

Let’s face it. Not everyone enjoys the online dating experience. Many often feel stuck in a situation where they keep looking at profiles online and meeting people online but are just not interested in taking it any further. The moment you feel this way, just quit. This would be our most valuable online dating advice. The truth is online dating is not for everyone, and sometimes people don’t feel motivated when the relationship starts online. Some people prefer old-school dating, replete with flowers, holding hands, and genuine face-to-face conversations. So, just ditch online dating if it’s not something you like.

Final Thoughts

We hope our list of 21 tips to date online successfully has lent you clarity on which direction to steer your effort in. If you spot any apparent red flags, you can pull the plug before getting emotionally invested in the person. On the other hand, if you like what you see, it gives you even more reason to pursue them wholeheartedly.

The secret to how to date online and how to improve dating profile is marketing yourself as a desirable potential partner as well as developing a keen eye for spotting profiles that resonate with you. With time, patience, practice, and good online dating etiquette, you can ace your online dating game and find your forever partner. 

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