Are you in that unsettling place in your life where despite being in a relationship, you cannot stop thinking about and visualizing yourself with an ex? Say, you’re sleeping next to your partner, but your mind runs amok with fantasies of your ex next to you, doing or saying things that transport you to a state of ecstasy. Or you’re being intimate with your partner but in your mind, you’re engaging sexually with your ex? Or when you hold your partner’s hand, you picture it’s your ex by your side? These obsessive fantasies are signs you have ungodly soul ties with this person.
Given how you’ve been living a parallel, imaginary life with a person who is no longer with you, you can see how such entanglements can impede your ability to form an authentic and wholesome relationship, and truly move forward in your life. They keep you stuck in the past and take a toll on your emotional and spiritual well-being. That’s why it’s important to recognize the dangers of soul ties and work toward breaking free from them. Let’s delve deeper into the workings of such toxic soul ties so that you can understand what you’re dealing with and take concrete steps toward breaking ungodly soul ties.
What Are Ungodly Soul Ties?
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Soul ties are like invisible strings connecting you to someone. Spiritual coach Rebecca Paulson explains, “Soul ties are the unseen threads that tether your heart, mind, and spirit to another person. While some ties are beautiful and divinely ordained, others are destructive and need to be addressed.” Clearly, ungodly soul ties fall in the second category. But what are ungodly soul ties exactly, and how are they formed?
Ungodly soul ties can be described as emotional, spiritual, or physical bonds that connect you to someone in a way that negatively impacts your life, hindering personal growth or spiritual well-being. It’s a spiritual connection with someone that is formed by deep emotional connections, sexual intimacy, or intense shared experiences.
While such soul ties can exist between parents and children, siblings, friends, mentors, and mentees, they’re most commonly formed between two people who are romantically and/or sexually intimate with one another. These often emerge from unhealthy relationships—those rooted in control, manipulation, abuse, or even unbalanced emotional reliance.
Now how do these toxic soul ties play out and impact your life? To understand, picture this: you’ve ended a toxic romantic relationship that constantly felt like a whirlwind of highs and lows, and you and your partner swung from one extreme of hot, passionate, can’t-keep-your-hands-off love and desire to the other extreme of ugly, no-holds-barred fights with name-calling, yelling, guilt-tripping, and emotional manipulation.
Having grown tired of this vicious circle, you chose to end the relationship yet you can’t stop thinking about your ex. You crave not only the way they desired and devoured you but also the drama that came with it. As a result, every new romantic prospect you meet seems to pale in comparison. You might even find yourself seeking closure repeatedly, despite knowing deep down that closure won’t come from them. This ongoing obsession is a classic example of ungodly soul tie.
6 Signs Of Ungodly Soul Ties
It’s clear that breaking ungodly soul ties is essential for reclaiming your emotional and spiritual autonomy and closing a toxic chapter of your life to move forward in true earnest. To be able to do that, you need to first recognize that you may have an ungodly or unhealthy spiritual connection with someone. Here are six clear and telling signs of ungodly soul ties:
1. Obsessive thoughts about the person
When you’re spiritually connected to someone in an unhealthy manner, you may find yourself constantly thinking about them, even when it disrupts your daily life or takes a toll on your emotional well-being. This goes beyond normal affection or attachment and feels more like emotional captivity.
Paulson says, “When a soul tie becomes ungodly, it hijacks your thoughts. Instead of focusing on your purpose, your mind becomes consumed by the other person.” For example, you might replay past interactions, fantasize about reconciling with an ex, or imagine their reactions to your life choices, you’re displaying an obsessive thought pattern that is characteristic of an unhealthy soul tie.
Related Reading: 8 Types Of Soulmates And Deep Soul Connection Signs
2. You’re unable to move on
Another classic sign that it’s time you start thinking about how to break a soul tie that has turned ungodly is that you’re unable to move on from an ex even after a long time since the relationship ended. No matter how toxic your ex may have been or how turbulent or hurtful the relationship was, their influence lingers in your mind and emotions. As a result, any new relationship you may get into feels unsatisfactory and every new partner or romantic prospect seems to fail in comparison to your ex. That’s not because others are not good enough.
They may be better than your ex-partner by every measure but you fail to see it because you’re still tethered to the emotional baggage of the past, which gets in the way of your ability to form authentic connections. Spiritual counselor Mariah Sanders says, “Ungodly soul ties act like invisible chains, binding you to someone emotionally and spiritually long after they’re physically gone from your life.”
3. Feelings of guilt, shame, or fear
Another indicator that your soul is entangled with someone else’s in an unhealthy way is that the thought of moving on from them fills you with guilt, shame, or fear. When you think logically, these emotions don’t make sense and on a cerebral level you realize how irrational you’re being, yet they feel powerful enough to keep you stuck on this person.
This dynamic is particularly common when ungodly soul ties take hold in abusive or manipulative relationships. Spiritual healer Grace Monroe explains, “Ungodly soul ties often thrive on guilt and fear, making you believe that stepping away would harm the other person or prove your inadequacy. These emotions are manipulative tools of bondage.”
Related Reading: Soul Ties: Meaning, Signs, And Tips To Break A Soul Tie
4. You keep repeating unhealthy cycles
“When a soul tie is ungodly, it creates a spiritual loop,” says Pastor Elijah Graham. “This loop keeps you bound to the person, forcing you to relive the same unhealthy dynamics over and over again.”
For instance, you may find yourself in an on-again-off-again relationship with this person where arguments and emotional turmoil push you to end things with them only to reconcile later. There is a short period of blissful togetherness and then the pattern of unhealthy behaviors, arguments, and emotional exhaustion repeats itself. You want to fix your relationship with them but no matter how much you try, the relationship seems to follow the same toxic script.
5. Physical or emotional dependency
Another classic sign that you have an ungodly soul tie with someone is that it feels as if you’re dependent on them for your existence. You might rely on them for validation, decision-making, or a sense of identity and feel as though you can’t function without this person in your life. This is because toxic soul ties are addictive. The validation this person offers you is like a hit of a drug you cannot get enough of, and once it’s taken away from you, you feel like you’ve been left gasping for air.
6. You compromise on your values or beliefs
An ungodly soul connection can make you betray the things that make you, you—your morals, your beliefs, your worldview, and your personal values. You may find yourself going to lengths you didn’t think you were capable of just to please or accommodate this person. For instance, you might avoid setting boundaries with them even when you’re already in another relationship and end up making unethical choices like infidelity just to keep this person around. Over time, this can lead to a loss of self-respect and spiritual disconnect.
“When you compromise your core beliefs to maintain a relationship, it’s a sign that the connection has taken control of your life,” says life coach Sarah Blake, “An ungodly soul tie will always demand more from you than it gives in return.”
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Are Ungodly Soul Ties Keeping You Stuck?
An ungodly soul tie may keep you emotionally, spiritually, or relationally stuck in an unhealthy connection with someone that often manifests as an unexplainable pull, even after you’ve physically or emotionally distanced yourself. The dangers of soul ties are that you may find yourself drawn back to this person repeatedly, despite knowing that they’re not good for you, and may live your life anchored in the past, thus diminishing the scope of your existence to a cycle of regret, sadness, anger, or longing that plays on a loop.
If you identify with the signs of ungodly soul ties, you definitely are stuck in an emotional quagmire that is preventing you from healing and fully embracing the present or future. “Ungodly soul ties create emotional and spiritual loops, forcing you to relive the same unhealthy dynamics over and over again. Breaking these cycles is key to moving forward,” says Sanders. Here is how this dysfunction manifests in your life:
- Emotional turmoil: The person you have an ungodly soul tie with becomes a source of constant anxiety, guilt, or sadness
- Inability to let go: You are unable to let them go and find yourself drawn back to them despite being fully aware of the fact that this relationship is harmful to you
- Spiritual disconnect: You start disconnecting from your spiritual beliefs to be able to live with the choices you make just to hold on to this person
- Self-worth issues: Your identity or value is defined by the way this person treats you. Without their validation, you feel worthless
5 Ways To Free Yourself Of Ungodly Soul Ties
There is no denying the fact that an ungodly soul tie holds you back from living your life to its full potential. No matter how spiritually connected or emotionally invested you find yourself in another person, if the root of that connection is unhealthy and toxic, cutting the cord and letting them go is the only way to save yourself. That said, we also recognize that it’s not easy to figure out how to break a soul tie that has turned unholy. However, it’s not impossible either. To help you, here are some expert-backed tips on how to get rid of soul ties that are unhealthy:
1. Acknowledge and identify the soul tie
The first step toward breaking ungodly soul ties is to shake off the denial and recognize the unhealthy connection for what it is and how it’s impacting your life. “You cannot heal what you refuse to acknowledge. Recognizing the presence of a soul tie is the first step toward reclaiming your freedom,” advises Paulson. You can do this by journaling your feelings about the relationship. Write down the ways this connection has affected your emotions, decisions, and spiritual growth. This clarity will help you confront the reality of the tie and motivate you to break it.
Related Reading: 17 Lesser-Known Psychological Facts About Soulmates
2. Turn to spiritual guidance and prayer to cut ungodly soul ties
Spiritual strength can be immensely helpful in breaking ungodly soul ties. Be it meditation, counseling from a spiritual mentor or advisor, or a prayer for breaking soul ties, you can take different approaches to invite God or a higher power you believe in to help you provide the strength and wisdom to sever the tie.
For this, you need to set aside time for a dedicated prayer or meditation session to seek the power to release the bond. An example of a prayer to break a soul tie with an ex could be, “God, I ask for Your guidance in breaking this soul tie. Help me to forgive, release, and move forward in alignment with Your will.” If you prefer meditating on it, you could visualize letting go of your soul tie and experiencing peace and calm when as you walk away from them, instead of the turmoil you usually experience. With repetition, this imagery can become powerful enough to give you the confidence to manifest it in reality.
3. Perform a symbolic act of release
Speaking of visualization, the power of imagery, and manifesting your reality, a symbolic act of releasing yourself from the clutches of your soul tie can have powerful psychological and spiritual effects. They help solidify your intention to break the tie and provide a sense of closure.
“Rituals, like burning a letter or cutting a symbolic cord, help translate your internal decision into an external action. This bridges the emotional and spiritual disconnect,” says Monroe. So, go ahead, and write a letter to the person, expressing your feelings and your decision to let go. You don’t need to send it—simply burn or shred the letter as a symbolic act of release. Or, imagine a cord connecting you to the person, and visualize yourself cutting it while affirming your independence.
4. Forgive and let go of resentment
You cannot free yourself from a person’s influence until you let go of not only the pleasant memories of them but also the anger, the hurt, and the resentment. Forgiveness is a crucial step in breaking ungodly soul ties because even unpleasant feelings can keep a bond alive.
“Forgiveness is not for the other person—it’s for you. It’s about releasing the grip they have on your heart and soul,” explains Angela. To embark on this journey of forgiveness, you can start by repeating affirmations like, “I choose to forgive [person’s name] and release them from my life.” You might also resort to prayer to cut ungodly soul ties, asking for strength to forgive and let go. Visualize handing over the pain to God or the universe and feel yourself healing from within.
Related Reading: What Is A Karmic Soulmate? How To Identify And Break Free
5. Establish boundaries and move forward
If you’re wondering how to break soul ties sexually or romantically, setting firm physical and emotional boundaries is essential to rule out the possibility of this connection taking a life of its own again. This includes limiting or eliminating contact with the person and avoiding situations that trigger old patterns. This means that even if this person reaches out, you have to be able to politely but firmly communicate your boundaries.
For instance, say, “I’ve decided to focus on my personal growth and need to limit our interactions.” It won’t be easy, especially at first, but it is what you need to do to be able to redirect your energy into new, positive relationships. As Sanders explains, “Healthy boundaries are the fence that protects your freedom. Without them, you risk reopening the door to unhealthy connections.”
Key Pointers
- Ungodly soul ties are unhealthy emotional, spiritual, or physical bonds formed in toxic relationships through intense shared experiences or sexual intimacy, leading to emotional captivity and an inability to move forward in life
- Common signs include obsessive thoughts, inability to move on, feelings of guilt or fear, repeating unhealthy cycles, dependency, and compromising values, all of which hinder personal growth and well-being
- These ties trap individuals in cycles of emotional turmoil, spiritual disconnect, and self-worth issues, anchoring them in the past and preventing a fulfilling present or future
- Steps to break ungodly soul ties include acknowledging the issue, seeking spiritual guidance, performing symbolic acts of release, forgiving and letting go of resentment, and establishing boundaries to reclaim emotional and spiritual autonomy
Final Thoughts
Breaking ungodly soul ties and healing from them is a lot like peeling back layers of emotional and spiritual baggage, but once you succeed in doing it, the renewed sense of freedom and independence you experience is worth every bit of turmoil you go through in achieving it.
You’ll no longer feel weighed down by the lingering influence of someone who doesn’t belong in your future. Instead, you’ll create space for healthier, divinely aligned relationships. Pastor Elijah Graham says, “You’re not just severing a bond; you’re reclaiming your life and making space for divine purpose and healthier connections.” Take these steps one at a time, and remember that healing is possible when you approach it with intention and faith.
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