We’ve all been hit with a cold “nothing” upon asking our partners why they’re angry. Sometimes, that response is exactly what you did and what you’ll be getting for dinner. Nothing. Not knowing how to show affection might make your partner feel like you’re doing nothing for the relationship.
So, what can you do in situations like these? It could be as simple as dropping a cute text or as grand as decorating the house for an occasion. Cuddles in the kitchen to get things off the ground, or even saying “I love you” like you mean it. No, giving them toilet paper when they’re out of it in the bathroom is not a sign of affection. Saving the last slice of pizza is.
Want to prove your love? Did you mess up? Or just want to show your affection to your beloved partner? Here are 16 ways to make sure your partner knows there’s nothing in the world you love more than them.
16 Wonderful Ways To Show Affection To Your Partner
Table of Contents
A relationship can seem like it’s the hardest thing in the world to get right and yet, at the same time, feel like a well-oiled machine that glides so beautifully, and so smoooothly when you do get it right. That’s just how it goes, one minute you feel the passive aggressiveness, the next it feels like there’s nothing in the world you could love more.
One of the biggest red flags in a relationship (apart from not sharing your fries) is not showing affection. Unfortunately, it’s all too common for partners to take their relationships for granted. You’ve been with your partner a long time by now, surely they must already be aware of how much they mean to you, right? Yes, but it’s important to keep reminding your partner of the fact so that they feel secure in the relationship.
As the love grows older, you might stop trying to come up with new ways to show affection that solidify your love, assuming that your partner already knows how much they mean to you. Since the law of diminishing returns, unfortunately, holds true in relationships as well, you need to come up with new ways to show affection every so often.
There’s only so much the surprise flowers on your way back from work will do, when you’ve already done that a hundred times before. Before you know it, your partner’s response will go from “How nice of you to get me flowers!” to “Oh great, flowers again. You know where the vase is.”
To show affection in a relationship is the hallmark of a healthy relationship. If you’re thinking “I don’t know how to show affection!” don’t worry, we’ve got you covered with a stunning number of ways to show affection that should get your partner going “awww!” a lot more than they do now:
1. Listen to what they want
You’re on your way to get your partner their favorite chocolate until you realize…you don’t know what their favorite chocolate is. Before you jump into making a grand show of your affection, learn exactly what your partner wants and expects from you. Get to know your partner before you make any assumptions.
You could land yourself in trouble if you get them the things you think they want, but they actually don’t. You don’t want your partner to think you don’t even know them. Listen to them when they talk about their interests, which in itself can be a great way to show affection to your wife or girlfriend.
Related Reading: 12 Things To Do When Husband Is Not Affectionate Or Romantic
2. Say nice things about each other
– You’re the cutest!
– No, you’re the cutest!
So on and so forth. You’ve seen these annoying couples everywhere, who for some reason just cannot decide who’s cuter. Well, we’re going to ask you to be that couple. Not as obnoxious, of course, but positive reinforcement through compliments can do wonders for both of you.
Things will go well when you tell your partner what you like about them and tell them why you love them. Tell her that dress looks great on her. Tell him his workouts have made him look better. You could even do this to show affection over the phone, all it takes is an “I’m so happy to hear your voice, it always gets me in a good mood!” Just make sure the compliments keep coming and voila — ways to show affection can be as simple as that.
3. A spontaneous hug always brightens the mood
When thinking about how to show affection, physical touch takes center stage. Studies claim something as simple as a loving hug makes you happier and releases both oxytocin and dopamine, the love and happiness hormones respectively. Guys touch you to show affection by putting their hand on your lower back while in public or just pulling you close while walking next to you.
Ladies, if you’re wondering how to show affection to your husband, initiating sex can be a huge morale and confidence booster for your man. It makes him feel appreciated and more turned on. Touching each other often and lovingly is a great way of showing affection and should be done frequently by any couple, if you want to avoid the dramatic, “Why don’t you love me anymore?” conversations.
4.The little things add up
Leave a cute note for your partner somewhere they’ll see it. Remember their coffee order for the next time you’re both at Starbucks. Order them a dessert while they’re away from you and missing you. Show affection over texts by randomly texting them how much they mean to you. Get them a rose for no reason. Be sweet, be gentle and respectful.
The little things add up to eventually make you the best boyfriend/girlfriend ever. Consistently being cute and kind will make sure a situation never arises where your partner feels you don’t show enough affection. Plus, it might just get your partner to start bragging to their friends about how they lucked out to have you in their life. There’s no better way of earning brownie points than being in the good books of your partner’s friends.
If you’re constantly thinking, “I don’t know how to show affection”?, just ask your partner’s friends about what you should/shouldn’t do. Chances are, they’ll give you a golden list of pet peeves and major loves about your SO that you never knew existed in the first place. Plus, more brownie points with the friends for showing you care! So yaaay!
5. Pay attention to your partner while spending quality time together
No, just spending time with your partner isn’t enough. Switch off the sports match and really listen to what your partner is saying or feeling. When they’re speaking, that’s all you should be focused on. It shows you’re a good listener and that you really care about what they’re saying.
Wondering how to show affection to your wife? A great way is to just listen to her intently. Make her feel heard and valued. No matter what you’re doing while you’re both spending time together, you have to make each other feel like you’re truly present for one another.
The same goes for women as well, when their male counterpart is ranting about their sports team losing all their matches or how bad things are at work, you have to listen. You don’t even need to offer any solutions. Offer motivation and support, and you’ll realize it’s not really that hard to figure out special things to do for your husband.
6. Ways to show affection: make the gift thoughtful
We all know getting someone nice gifts is a great way of showing affection. When something big like a birthday or your anniversary is coming up, make sure you don’t solely focus on how much moolah you spend; instead make the gift thoughtful. It might even save you some money in the end, the best gift ideas are the thoughtful ones.
Giving a gift you’ve put a lot of thought and effort into will undoubtedly show affection in a relationship. Paint something for your partner, make a scrapbook of happy moments you shared, put is some effort and give them something that was hard to find but which you know they’ve always wanted. Once you see the smile on your partner’s face after you give them a thoughtful, considerate gift, you’ll realize the time you spent overthinking the question, “How hard is it to show affection?” was really of no use.
Related Reading: 18 Ways To Show Someone You Care
7. What? Is it Valentine’s Day?
No, it’s not, but for the both of you, it very well could be. If you think things have been stale in your relationship for a while and you’ve hit a bump when it comes to the romance, you could spontaneously turn a regular day into a full-blown Valentine’s Day celebration. Take your partner out to their favorite place, cover your bed with rose petals, drink chanpagne in bed…the whole nine yards.
A spontaneous act like this will be great at rekindling the romance you thought was long dead. Show affection to your husband or your wife by setting up a candlelight dinner, complete with the fancy silverware you never get around to using. To do one better, turn it into a mini-vacation. Take the day off from work, plan a nice long weekend getaway, go hit the spa together. Ways to show affection without being sexual can often turn out to be much cuter than what goes on in the bedroom.
8. Reciprocate the effort
If your partner is constantly doing things to keep the relationship interesting and showing you how much they care, you better buckle up and do the same. If they’re showing affection over texts, shoot a cute text back their way. If they keep surprising you with a gourmet dinner, treat them to breakfast in bed every once in a while. Watching your partner smile should give you happiness, which is the core of a healthy relationship.
We don’t want you saying “I don’t know how to show affection!” You’re reading this article, you have some ideas in your head by now. If your partner starts feeling like they do all the work, things can go south really quickly. How to show affection to your wife, or your husband for that matter, is as simple as matching the energy and effort they put in.
9. Show affection by taking a step back
Sometimes men and even women can go overboard with the whole ‘how to show affection’ stuff. They’ll be at their partners’ beck and call, always there to be of service. Or, to be of annoyance. When you’re on the lookout for ways to show affection without being sexual, it’s possible you might come to the false conclusion that being their personal butler will do the trick.
Counterintuitively, sometimes the best way to show affection is by taking a step back and letting your partner be. If you’re always there trying to cater to their every need, it may get a little annoying after a while. Ease up on the questions, let them text you whenever they’re free, and give them your full attention whenever you’re together.
10. Don’t keep score
Answering ‘how to show affection’ is useless if you expect something in return for every little thing you do. Managing expectations in a relationship is extremely important. Keeping score will eventually result in feelings of resentment and make you think you’re somehow superior in the relationship because you always make the bookings for everywhere you guys go.
To show affection in a relationship, you must understand that it be done with the sole purpose of making your significant other happy. If you give a gift while expecting to get that thing you’ve wanted in return, you’re inviting a world of disappointments and repressed feelings, you’ll soon realize that’s not how affection works.
11. Support your partner like you would your favorite sports team
Supporting your partner in any new endeavor/hobby they may take up is an appreciable way of showing affection. Learn about whatever it is they’re doing and be truly interested. Even if it’s something that goes over your head, just make sure you’re the pillar of support when need be.
Part of what’s wonderful about being in a relationship is the emotional support you get. Your partner shouldn’t feel as though they’re treading into uncharted territory alone. Having you by their side will double their confidence.
12. Help when required, listen when necessary
It’s important to know the distinction between always helping and listening. There are some fights that your partner must face alone. When they’re venting about them to you, sometimes they just want you to listen instead of providing solutions. How to show affection to your wife can be as simple as making her feel validated, because it shows you understand that sometimes, people just need to vent.
When it seems like all you do is provide solutions to every minor problem that comes to your partner, it might end up making them feel like you think they’re not capable of dealing with their own issues. “How hard is it to show affection?” is a question you won’t even be pondering when you two end up sleeping in different rooms because you constantly undermine your partner.
Of course, being there for your partner when required is important. You should be Robin to their Batman. Times of trouble are when the title of “significant other” truly shines.
13. Do not take them for granted
Taking out the trash is the wifey’s job right? She always does it! Nope. Do not take anything your partner does for granted. They’re not doing it because they’re obligated to do so, they’re doing it because they care about you.
A simple thank you, or better still, offering to do the task yourself, can be a great way of showing affection to your partner. You could even show affection over the phone by calling your partner and telling them you value and adore every single thing they do for the relationship, it’ll make their day.
14. Spoil your partner
After all the respect in the world has been given to your partner, once you’ve treated them nicely and shown them you don’t take them for granted, the truth is, that one of the best ways to show affection is by spoiling your partner. Treat them to a spa day, take them on a shopping spree, buy them those expensive gadgets they’ve been contemplating getting for a while.
If you’re trying to figure out the special things to do for your husband, while traditionally, they might not want a shopping spree, there’s definitely a utility tool or a neat new gadget they’ve had their eyes on for a while. Surprise them with it, but make sure you let them know that this isn’t a regular occurrence. You don’t want to start watering down your milk to make ends meet since you two keep spoiling each other!
Related Reading: 10 Proven Ways To Show Someone You Love Them
15. Get creative with ways to show affection
Get your notepad out and start writing down a poem or a song. It doesn’t matter if it’s bad, what matters is the thought you put into it. Get creative with it, think of all the things that make your partner drop what they’re doing and hug you. Sing them a song, have an impromptu date night at home or do that thing they want you to do in bed (just the one time, we promise).
The question, “I don’t know how to show affection” is likely to get you stuck in a rut, overcomplicating a simple problem. Embrace your inner artist and make your partner forget all about Ed Sheeran, at least for one night.
16. Declare your love publically
If your partner is the kind who doesn’t like causing a scene, perhaps reconsider proposing during a baseball match or a grand gesture in your friend’s wedding (you shouldn’t steal their thunder anyway). However, a little public display of affection never hurt anybody. Maybe sing them a romantic song during that karaoke night, or just hug them in public to let them and the people around you know you love your partner.
When this happens, you won’t be asking yourself, “How do guys touch you to show affection in a relationship?” anymore. If he’s shy and still goes out of his way to praise you in front of his or your friends, you know he’s a keeper.
At the end the end of the day, it ultimately depends on what your partner reacts to most and what they expect of you. If you’re left trying to tackle these things by guessing what they want, you’re not going to have a good time. Instead, if you’re not sure, ask them what they want and try your best to provide. There is no bad way to show affection, as long as it’s from the heart.
Your contribution does not constitute a charitable donation. It will allow Bonobology to continue bringing you new and up-to-date information in our pursuit of helping anyone in the world to learn how to do anything.
Ask Our Expert
You must be Logged in to ask a question.
