So, Cupid’s arrow has finally struck you, and voila, you’ve got yourself a first date. Now, you’re filled with a curious mix of excitement and nervousness, as you wonder, “Could this be the beginning of a love story you’ve hoped for or just another meet-up that leads nowhere? If you hit the right spot with your first date conversations, you can translate that palpable chemistry into a long-lasting relationship. For that, you need to be sure about how to act and what to talk about on a first date.

Talking to someone you like may sound easy but when you find yourself sitting across from them, those first-date jitters can become all-consuming, and you may find yourself struggling to come up with interesting topics to talk about. Not to mention, the pressure of saying the right things or not saying the wrong ones can leave even the glibbest talkers tongue-tied. As a result, you may end up coming across as clueless in the art of conversing on the first date.

Well, not anymore because we’re here to help calm those nerves and give you a much-needed confidence boost with this detailed guide on what to talk about on a first date, complete with actionable tips and 50 good first date questions.  

13 First Date Conversation Tips

What you say on the first date sets the tone for the rest of the relationship. It also determines how your date perceives you and goes a long way in making that favorable first impression. So, one of the first date mistakes you’d want to avoid at all costs is to show up without giving any thought to the question: what does one talk about on a first date? 

While spontaneity plays a role in steering first date conversations, you cannot leave it entirely to chance. Some preparation is essential to making sure you don’t end up saying the wrong thing or coming across as a dud. Of course, there is no magic formula to stimulate engaging conversations on a first date. It all boils down to your personalities, your chemistry, and comfort level. Even so, getting some basics right can improve your odds of fortifying your connection. These first date conversation tips will help you do just that:

Related Reading: 15 Strong Signs Of Chemistry On A First Date

1. Approach it like a friend

All great relationships start with friendship. So, while you may be grappling with first date nerves, try to ease the situation by thinking of it as meeting a friend. This will put you at ease and help you be your authentic self with your date. Don’t just throw a volley of questions at your date or monopolize the conversation. Be curious, and make it an enjoyable exchange of thoughts. Be open to hearing your date out and think of good follow-up questions to keep the conversation flowing.

2. Don’t punctuate the first few minutes with an awkward silence

Nervousness is natural, and your date must be feeling it too. But, don’t let it overpower you to such an extent that it ruins the experience for you both. Instead, take the casual route and keep the conversation ‘light’. You can start simply by sharing your interests and then ask them to share something ‘unique’ about themselves. Don’t pry into personal aspects of your date’s life, such as past relationships, and keep the conversation free from judgments. It would be better if your first date conversation topics did not include anything really intrusive or personal. 

Related Reading: How to date a friend?

3. Maintain eye contact 

A sense of uneasiness and disconnect may take hold if you’re too self-conscious or shy to maintain eye contact with your date. Besides, you miss out on the chance to capitalize on eye contact attraction. So, make it a point to look your date in the eye when you talk to them. While doing so, also shift your focus from eye to eye. This creates the desired sparkle and expresses your involvement and interest in the date. Don’t stare creepily though. Instead, use eye contact to convey that you are interested and willing to engage.

4. Listen with interest

Active listening is an underrated aspect of building a strong connection with someone. Don’t miss out on it when you’re on a first date with someone you really like. When your date shares something with you, listen intently. Ask follow-up questions and acknowledge their words with ‘umms’, ‘yeah’, ‘is it?’ at appropriate moments and keep the conversation flowing naturally. Echo what your date has shared in one sentence, like “Relocating to a new city is challenging” or “Your work sounds very interesting.” This can go a long way in making your date feel heard and validated. 

5. Ease into the conversation by talking about ‘favorites’

‘Favorites’ is an engaging and fun ice-breaker for a first date. Everybody has their share of likes, dislikes, and favorites, so this is a safe yet engaging first date conversation topic to lead with. Share an interesting anecdote about your favorite food or hobby and then ask them their faves to keep the conversation light and fun. Apart from helping in getting the conversation rolling, it also offers insight into your date’s personality. And who knows, you might just discover similar interests, likes, or dislikes that give you a whole new ground to bond over. 

Related Reading: 20 Valuable Tips For A First Date After Meeting Online

6. Talk about travels

Travel has become aspirational. Most of us have our travel bucket lists and a line-up of dream destinations we want to explore, making it a near-fail-proof first date conversation starter. If you feel your conversation has quite taken off as well as you’d hoped or there seems to be a slump all of a sudden, ask your date about their recent travel experiences or future prince. Or share an interesting or goofy incident from your travels. Maybe you’d share a hearty laugh and your date will follow it up with interesting stories of their own. 

7. Respond to her questions confidently

Wondering, what to talk about on a first date with someone you met online? Or how to talk to a guy on a first date?  Or how to talk to a woman and impress her? Confidence is key. When your date asks you a question, don’t be afraid to speak your mind. Don’t get too caught up in whether your date will judge you for your thoughts and opinions. Just come out and say what you genuinely feel about the topic at hand. Who knows, your date may just be completely in sync with your point of view, allowing you to strengthen your connection. 

8. Tap into your sense of humor

If you’re blessed with a good sense of humor, leverage it to make your date more fun. There is no better icebreaker than laughter. Tell your date a funny story, share a funny incident from work, or crack a joke or two. Laugh with them. This will help you both loosen up and feel more at ease in each other’s company. Just be careful not to go overboard with your jokes or to crack inappropriate ones. 

9. Discuss goals and ambitions 

If you’re looking for deep first date questions that help you connect without coming across as intrusive or prying, discuss your respective goals and ambitions. Ask your date what their personal goals and professional ambitions are. Despite being safe topics of conversation, these can stimulate vulnerability and get you to open up to each other. Besides, it will make your date feel like you genuinely care about getting to know them better. This is one of the best first date conversation starters that you cannot go wrong with.

10. Talk about their friends or your mutual friends

Another one of the things to talk about on a first date can be friends. If you’re meeting someone new, ask them about their friends. If you’re wondering what to do on a first date with someone you already know, discuss mutual friends. This works well because it’s not too invasive a topic nor is it too generic to be boring. 

Besides, the kind of friends a person has and how deeply they’re invested in them says a lot about their personality. So, you’d also get to know your date better in the process. But keep in mind, while this may be an interesting topic to talk about with your date, you mustn’t fixate on it for too long. Keep the discussion brief and then move on. 

Related Reading: Why every girl needs a guy best friend

11. Don’t risk the date with cheesy pick-up lines

One of the most vital first date conversation tips we have for you is to steer clear of pickup lines. They can backfire. Given that you’re already on a date, pickup lines are technically redundant in the situation. So, do not resort to them, even if you think that the date is going badly and a cheeky line may help you salvage it. You might just end up saying something that puts your date off completely.

12. Bond over bad date stories

Everybody has their share of date gone wrong experiences, especially in this age of online dating. Turns out, these can be a great bonding agent on a first date. If you have funny, silly, or downright awful stories, share them with your date and laugh a little.

13. Thank your date for a memorable time

Whether you enjoyed their company or not, graciously acknowledge the time spent together. Tell your date that you had a really great time and enjoyed their company. If you really did enjoy spending time with them and would like to see them again, you can allude to it with a casual, “We should do this again sometime.” But do not get down to making specific plans or asking for a second date right away. Take some time to process the experience and extend your date the same courtesy. You can always text them later to make plans for a second date.

50 First Date Topics That Your Date Will Love 

Now that we’ve covered the essential tips on handling first date conversations like a boss, let’s get down to the specifics. So, what do you talk about on a first date? From getting-to-know-each-other questions to shared interests and subtle flirting, there are just so many topics of conversation you can explore. A first date is like a blank canvas, and your imagination is the only thing that determines how well you paint it. 

Sounds exciting, right? This is also what makes first date conversations daunting. Allow us to help take the edge off with this compilation of 50 good first date questions that you can fall back on if you find yourself struggling to keep the conversation flowing:

1. What do you do in your free time?

Shocker, right? Okay, this isn’t really the most innovative question to ask. However, the question in itself isn’t what your focus should be on. Since we’re talking about first-date conversation topics, the answer you get from this question is what’s important. When your date replies with something like “I love to read up on philosophy and chill out,” ask them follow-up questions about that. Like “Oh so you don’t watch Instagram reels for 2 hours like the rest of us? Are you a sage?” 

2. Gun to your head, you have to recite one song in its entirety, what do you pick?

Sure, you could just go with the plain boring “What music do you listen to?” If you’re looking to end the conversation after two sentences. By framing your question like this, you’re going to add a humorous angle to it and you’ll also be able to ask them why they know Britney Spears’ Baby One More Time from start to finish. 

Related Reading: 20 Valuable Tips For A First Date After Meeting Online

3. What’s the most spontaneous thing you’ve done? 

By now, you probably get the gist. You want to ask interesting get-to-know-me questions that elicit a story or a good answer in response (reminder, we’re discussing first-date topics of conversation). That random tattoo of a rose and dagger or that spontaneous trip to Cambodia probably has a story behind it. Ask away. 

4. What’s on your bucket list?

“What do you mean wanting to do shots with Barack Obama is weird? It’s not weird.” The point is, bucket lists usually tell you a lot about what someone really wants to do. Now that you know your date has an unhealthy obsession with the former president, you know exactly who you need to be like. Obama’s one true love, Joe Biden, of course. 

5. What does your ideal life look like? 

The questions to ask on a first date must always initiate a conversation. And when your date tells you their ideal life does NOT involve any dogs in them, you’ve definitely initiated a 20-minute-long conversation about why dogs make everyone’s lives better and why everyone should have at least 3. Jokes aside, this could be a fun first-date topic to discuss. You’ll also get a good grasp of what this person’s goals are. 

6. What’s the best present you ever got/gave? 

With all these first date topics to talk about, the point is to get to know your date better. If they fail to come up with an answer, ask them if they’re not really a fan of birthdays. If they say they love birthdays but have never gotten/given a great gift, ask them why their life has been so sad. Kidding, of course. Just go ahead and ask them what they’d like to get for their birthday, and keep it in mind. You know, just in case things do go well from here. 

Related Reading: First Date Gift Ideas And Tips For A Lasting Impression

7. What’s your best travel story?

Travel stories are often fun. They’re usually filled with a lot of drunk stories, thrilling situations, and close encounters. Not sure how much good talking about traveling will do for you? Just take a look at Joey from F.R.I.E.N.D.S. Who can resist a good story about you backpacking across Western Europe? 

8. Asking about the dream vacation is a classic first-date topic

We don’t know about you, but backpacking across Western Europe sure does sound like a lot of fun. Jokes aside, asking your date about their dream vacation will tell you a lot about their preferred mode of recreation as well. Are they picking the never-ending night raves of Ibiza, or are they going with the serenity of the northern lights? 

9. Is there anyone who has left a lasting impact on your personality? 

Taking a break from the funny first date topics, and asking rather serious questions like these will help you get to know more about your date. Why did this person leave such a lasting impact? Are they close to this person? Plus, who they pick says a lot about them as well. If they answer with “Donald Trump,” we’re pretty sure you’re already looking toward the exit. 

10. Is there something you’ll never say no to?

Are they hopelessly addicted to Oreos? Are they incapable of going a day without coffee? If they answer with “alcohol”, are they secretly alcoholic? As is the case with all the first date topics you’ll see here, the point is to frame your questions in a way that allows for follow-up conversations and more questions. 

11. What movie do you force your friends to watch?

No, don’t just ask a boring “What’s your favorite movie?” Ask them something with a bit more zing to it. Who knows, maybe they have a story about forcing their friends to watch Star Wars, only to have their friends tell them they’ll never watch a movie with them again.

12. What fictional character do you hate that you relate to?

The previous question can make it pretty obvious whether they watch movies/shows or not, and just how passionate they are about them. Hit them with this question, and watch them think about it. Do they feel like Chewbacca, who can’t really have a conversation with anyone except Han (hopefully you one day)? Or do they feel like Joe Goldberg from You? If they do, run. 

Related Reading: 15 Tips On What Not To Do On A First Date To Make The Right Impression

13. What are your guilty pleasures?

Yes, we know, it’s a cliched question, but maybe framing it like this turns it into one of the great first date topics. Plus, you might just come across a precious piece of information. Does the Sinatra and Bill Withers fanboy secretly love BTS as well? 

14. What apps do you use the most?

Most of us can’t go two hours without our phones. And the way you organize (or don’t) your phone says a lot about you. Do you have a meditation app in there that you actually get around to using? Do you still use Snapchat like you’re living in 2015? Or are you one of the spiritually awakened yet still annoying god-men who has successfully deleted Instagram? The apps you frequent can end up defining you. It’s definitely one of the good first date topics of conversation if you want to understand what your date does on a day-to-day basis. 

15. First-date topics include asking about pet peeves

This question is criminally underrated. Imagine if your date hates a certain word (moist, anyone?) and you inadvertently repeat it 828 times during your date. By using this question as a first-date conversation topic, you’ll make sure you get to know what they secretly hate for no apparent reason. 

16. What do you need to establish a connection with someone? 

Basically, you’re asking your date about their dealbreakers. Do they need you to be as obsessed with Oreos or Obama as they are? Do they need you to be their personal stand-up comedian? Is your obsession with, “That’s what she said” jokes going to be a problem? Although first date questions should mostly be light and fun, it’s a good idea to know about the things that your date just cannot tolerate. You know, so you don’t go around saying “moist” all the time. Yugh! 

17. What makes you happy? 

Sure, it may not seem like a widely used first date topic, but it’s still vital information. What are you going to do when your date tells you they’re not doing too well mentally? Instead of constantly replying with “What’s up?” why not just do the thing they say makes them happy? 

18. Is there something you’ll never eat again?

If you’re looking for the best first date topics of conversation, stray no further than talking about food. Plus, put a fun little twist on it by asking them about something that almost made them puke, and their toxic relationship with desserts. From there, you can obviously talk about the foods they can’t live without. And if things go REALLY well, you could even surprise them with their favorite dish one day. Bonus points if you make it yourself. 

19. What’s something you want to learn?

First date questions are supposed to help you figure out what your date is like as a person and what they’re curious about. This question will probably tell you what they’ve always wanted to learn but never had the time to. That way, you’ll get a great idea of what your date regards highly and has high opinions of. If they say they’re dying to learn how to knit, it should probably tell you you’re the only person who’s responsible for the humor in this dynamic. 

Related Reading: 21 Huge First Date Red Flags You Should Be Wary Of

20. What do you admire about your closest friends?

At some point, you do want to get to know more about your date’s friends and family. Granted, it’s not one of the most fun first date topics, but it’ll tell you the kind of characteristics your date values in a person. 

21. What gives you purpose?

Yes, we know, first-date topics are not supposed to bring on existential dread and make you two question the meaning of life. Even so, knowing what drives this person to get out of bed and achieve their goals to the best of their abilities will probably tell you all you need to know about their current state of mind. 

22. What’s your hidden talent?

This can lead to a light-hearted revelation and open up new avenues of conversation about unique skills or quirky hobbies. Whether it’s juggling, mimicking accents, or obscure trivia, this seemingly innocent question will help you get to see a side your date might not usually share.

23. Do you believe in zodiac and personality types?

A question about zodiac compatibility or personality tests like Myers-Briggs can spark interesting discussions on whether they find these insightful, fun, or totally unscientific.

24. If you could time travel, what era would you visit?

Time-travel fantasies make for ideal first date conversation because they open up the door to intense discussions about an eclectic mix of topics, ranging from history to fashion to futuristic ideas. Who knows, your date may reveal an interest in the roaring ’20s, ancient civilizations, or even a sci-fi future.

25. What’s the best concert or live show you’ve been to?

Wondering what to talk about on a first date with someone you met online? This question gives insight into their musical taste and favorite experiences. Whether they enjoy live music, comedy shows, or theater, it opens up a shared love for performance and entertainment.

26. If you could live in any country, where would it be?

This question leads to interesting topics to talk about on a first date, such as a love for culture and travel preferences. Your date’s answer—whether they choose a tropical beach town, bustling city, or quiet countryside in Europe—can reveal a lot about their personality. 

27. What’s your favorite family tradition?

Family traditions reveal a lot about a person’s upbringing and values and a warm, personal touch to the conversation. By the time you’re done trading stories about weekend rituals or holiday traditions, you’ll feel a little closer to one another. 

28. What’s your favorite season and why?

Asking about seasons might seem simple, but the answer can be insightful. Does your date enjoy cozying up in winter, outdoor activities in summer, or the nostalgic feel of autumn? If your relationship takes off, you can use these insights to plan dreamy dates with your SO.

29. Do you collect anything?

Collections are a window into someone’s passions and interests. From vinyl records to postcards, this can be a way to understand what small treasures hold value for them.

30. What’s your go-to comfort food?

Everyone has that one food they turn to for comfort. This question is great for exploring their culinary tastes and can lead to more food-related chat—maybe even planning a future food adventure.

Related Reading: 21 Promising Signs A First Date Went Well

31. What would be your dream job if money weren’t an issue?

This question encourages them to think about their passions, beyond financial considerations and can show what truly excites or inspires them.

32. What’s a topic you could talk about for hours?

Whether it’s a passion project, a hobby, or a professional interest, this gives them a chance to delve into something they love and share it with you.

33. If you could be famous for one thing, what would it be?

Do they see themselves as a world-renowned chef, a pop star, or the author of a bestselling novel? This is an ideal first date question because it gives you a peek into how your date’s self-esteem and self-worth. 

34. What’s the first thing you notice about a person?

Your date’s answer will give you a chance to understand what qualities they value most in others, like kindness, humor, or confidence.

35. Is there a skill you wish you had?

Ask your date this and give them a chance to share something they admire in others or have always wanted to pursue, like playing an instrument, mastering a sport, or even becoming multilingual.

36. What is your favorite way to unwind after a long day?

Knowing how someone de-stresses can give insight into their lifestyle—for instance, do they enjoy breaking a sweat at the gym or relaxing by curling up with a book? If your choice of unwinding activities matches, that’s a huge check mark for compatibility between you and your date. 

37. Do you have any recurring dreams or nightmares?

This is an intriguing, personal question that can reveal so much about their mind and any hidden fears, aspirations, or memorable life experiences that shape their dreams.

38. What would your younger self be proud of you for?

This question brings out self-reflection and is a great way to find out what achievements or personal growth they value most.

39. If you could swap lives with anyone for a day, who would it be?

From a celebrity to a historical figure, this answer gives you a sense of their curiosities and interests in other people’s lifestyles.

40. What’s a movie or book you wish you could experience for the first time again?

This reveals something close to their heart and opens up discussions on the emotions or memories attached to that movie or book.

Related Reading: 15 Examples On How To Respond To A Compliment From A Guy

41. What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received?

Let them share a highlight moment and reveal what they appreciate most about themselves or what they find meaningful in others’ opinions. It reflects on their self-love quotient.

42. What’s a cause or social issue that’s important to you?

You’ll get to know what matters to them on a larger scale, whether it’s environmental issues, animal welfare, or human rights, and how they contribute to it.

43. What’s your ideal day off?

This gives you a glimpse into how they prefer to spend their downtime—relaxing at home, spending time outdoors, or diving into a creative project.

44. Do you have a favorite quote you live by?

Learn about their mindset, values, and what keeps them motivated or inspired.

45. What’s the most unusual item you own?

This fun question can open the door to stories about quirky items, unusual gifts, or even travel souvenirs, giving insight into their life experiences.

46. What’s your stance on work-life balance?

A question about work-life balance can be helpful if you’re looking to understand their priorities and how they manage career ambitions with personal well-being and relationships.

47. If you had to describe yourself as an animal, which one would it be?

This is a fun way to explore how they view themselves. Are they loyal like a dog, independent like a cat, or adventurous like an eagle?

Related Reading: Things Not To Do On A First Date To Make The Right Impression

48. What’s a hobby you think everyone should try?

Their answer might introduce you to something new or highlight an activity they’re truly passionate about and feel brings value to others.

49. What do you think is the most overrated trend?

This lets you see their humorous or critical side and get their perspective on fads, fashion, or lifestyle trends they find baffling.

50. What’s something people misunderstand about you?

It’s a chance for them to clarify a unique aspect of themselves, which can lead to deeper emotional connection and understanding.

Final Thoughts

See, coming up with engaging first date topics to talk about isn’t that. However, it’s important to time them well and use them contextually. Don’t force these into your conversation if you’re doing fine without them. If you think there are a few too many awkward silences filling up the air, pick any of these first date topics and converse away. Remember, let the conversation flow naturally, and don’t be too eager to impress. 

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