The wedding season is here. A time of merrymaking and mirth. Numerous ceremonies and festivities at the bride’s house before the wedding. The fun of the ceremony itself and then the fleeting, plaintive notes of bidaai. And the bride’s welcome into her new life… baraan…
But did you know that in Bengal we have another custom? This is the custom of Kaalratri or the Black Night or Inauspicious Night. This is the night on which the newlyweds have to stay separated from each other and in stricter times not even meet one another. Why? Why is the very night a bride steps into her new house so inauspicious for the couple?
She wanted to be a goddess
To understand this we must look back into an old Bengali legend. Manasa, the daughter of Shiva, was the Goddess of Snakes. She yearned to be welcomed into the pantheon of gods and be worshipped by everyone. But she was shunned.
She asked Chand Saudagar, a rich merchant and one of her father’s ardent followers, to worship her as a deity. But the arrogant Chand Saudagar refused. He did not even consider her to be a goddess.
The furious Manasa cursed him… and all his ships were lost at sea, his six sons struck dead and his wealth vanished…but still, the stubborn merchant refused to repent.
Finally, on the wedding day, the much-beloved youngest son Lakhinder arrived. The spurned Goddess angrily cursed the new couple saying that the groom would die of snakebite on the first night that the young couple would spend after coming home from the bride’s place.
Chand Saudagar had the divine architect, Vishwakarma, construct a palace for the couple, which was hermetically sealed, without a crack or cranny left through which a serpent with a mindset on murder, could enter. But Manasa was more cunning than all of them. She terrified Viswakarma, who left a tiny, tiny hole through which the tiniest of snakes could enter.
The young couple were left in their palace for their first night together. Her mother-in-law had warned the bride, Behula, of the Snake Goddess’s curse. Behula decided to stay awake the whole night guarding her husband. The first snake, Kaalnagini, stealthily tried to enter but the young bride offered her a bowl of milk with all humility. Charmed, the snake left without harming Lakhinder.
Then vengeful Manasa sent sleep itself to sit on Behula’s eyelids. The young bride fell asleep and Kaalnag entered through the crack and bit Lakhinder. The groom was dead.
The bride wouldn’t give up
In the morning there was wailing all around, but Behula remained stoic. In those days, those who died of snakebite were not cremated but set afloat on a raft. Behula declared that she would accompany her husband’s corpse all the way to the other world, placate the Goddess and bring her husband back to life.
After many hardships, Behula managed to meet Manasa. The Goddess’s stepmother, Parvati, moved by the young widow’s plight, commanded Manasa to restore her husband to life. The Snake Goddess agreed but on the condition that Chand Saudagar worshipped her and propagated her worship on earth.
Seeing Behula returning with her husband, six brothers-in-law and all his lost wealth – Chand Saudagar relented and agreed to worship the Snake Goddess… but with his left hand only.
The Snake Goddess was content with that.
And Behula and her family lived in peace.
But from then on, the practice of Kaalratri has been observed and newlywed couples stay separate on the first night.
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Journalist with The Statesman Calcutta from 1991-2001.Helped start Voices The Statesman In School in 1993- then worked with Voices. Had a column called Pet Corner in The Statesman from 1996-1998.
Helped start The Telegraph In Schools in 2001.
Wrote Kurukshetra (1991), Kaikeyi (1992), The Lost Unicorn, Kanya And Other Tales in between. Also wrote a few stories for the Chicken Soup For The Soul series. Started writing for Malini a Bengali Little Magazine from 2010- and had three stories inclued in three Malini anthologies.
After Troy was published in 2020 just before the world went topsy turvy.
Also wrote short stories for The Statesman and The Times Of India in between the years
Started The Sarama Project For Abandoned Dogs from April 2017 to try and fund dog shelters. Will be staging my book Kaikeyi-A Medley on stage on June 1 2017 to raise funds for Sarama.
Readers Comments On “Why newly wed couples in Bengal cannot spend the first night together”
Kavya Anjali
Oh good heavens! What an interesting piece! The story behind a single ritual has so many layers involved in it! It makes me feel awed when I think of the enormity of our Cultural wealth and its mythical heritage.
Oh good heavens! What an interesting piece! The story behind a single ritual has so many layers involved in it! It makes me feel awed when I think of the enormity of our Cultural wealth and its mythical heritage.