Will He Come Back? 15 Signs That Indicate He Will And What To Do

You’re not alone if you lie awake asking yourself: will he come back? That knot in your stomach from a recent breakup is universal. It’s natural to hold onto hope, even when no one can promise what the future holds. Relationship experts say there’s often no guarantees after a split. 

In this article, we won’t pretend otherwise, but it will arm you with knowledge. We’ll cover the key signs he might return, typical phases and timelines, positive clues to watch for, red flags that signal finality, and the actions you can take and avoid at each step. Stick around: by the end, you’ll know how to navigate the situation, while looking after yourself.

Why People Come Back After A Breakup

Breakups can trigger deep regret. People can begin craving their ex and the comfort of partnership. Dr. Alexandra Stratyner, a Manhattan-based psychologist, explains, “A person might want to reconnect with an ex because they miss the nice parts of the relationship. 

Research finds that anxiously attached people often feel empty after a split and may try to reconnect to feel whole again. Even ordinary sadness can be intense. Loneliness, anxiety and uncertainty” are powerful right after a breakup. People gravitate toward their exes for reasons such as: 

• Loneliness and boredom: It’s common to feel empty after a breakup, and this void can make a person long for their ex
• Nostalgia: Fond memories resurface. Absence makes the heart grow fonder
• Unresolved business: Lingering guilt or unanswered questions pull people back

Studies suggest roughly a third of exes reconnect. One poll found 41% tried to get back together, and one study found about 37% of cohabiting exes later reunited. So even though it’s never guaranteed, a significant number of exes do reach out again.

Timeline And Phases Of An Ex Coming Back

Your ex’s journey back to you often follows a predictable path. Here’s what it may look like:

Phase 1: Regret and nostalgia

In the first few weeks after the breakup, he’s likely feeling regret and longing. He may replay happy memories and miss the routine you provided. This is when “what if” thoughts begin, but he hasn’t fully processed the breakup yet.

Phase 2: Evaluation and hesitation

Over the next 1–3 months, he starts to think things through more clearly. He mentally weighs the pros and cons of getting back together. Pride, fear of rejection, or guilt can cause him to hesitate, so he may keep his distance while internally debating what to do.

Phase 3: Reconnection attempts

If he decides he wants to try again, he’ll start reaching out. This might be a casual text, a message on social media, or arranging an “accidental” run-in. He’s testing the waters and looking for a friendly response. This phase is all about small steps to reestablish contact.

Phase 4: Reintegration or fade

Finally, either the two of you work on rebuilding the relationship, if the signs and timing feel right, or things fizzle out. If he’s serious and you respond well, you might move toward reconciliation. If you’re not interested or old issues resurface, the renewed contact may gradually fade and end for good.

Related Reading: 11 Types Of Breakups That Get Back Together With Timelines

Will He Come Back? 15 Signs That Indicate He Will

There is little in life that leaves us more confused than relationship stuff, particularly breakups. If you were the one who was dumped, you might find yourself questioning your self-worth, you might ask a certain virtual confidante, “When a guy breaks up with you, will he come back?”

If you dumped him, you wonder if you did the right thing or if you should have given him a second chance. Either way, there’s a good chance you’ll ask yourself, “Will he come back?” Or wonder, what makes a man come back after a breakup? To help you find the answers, we’ve rounded up some surefire signs that your ex will come back to you.

1. You ended things due to a misunderstanding

Very often, misunderstandings lead to breakups. No matter how open and honest you were with each other, it’s possible that there was some breakdown in communication in your relationship where you failed to convey your feelings or emotions in the right way or could not understand your partner’s perspective or vice versa.

The fallout of such misunderstandings can be bad enough to push people to pull the plug on their relationship. If that’s the case, then it’s possible that both you and your ex will realize that the breakup was uncalled for. In such cases, the chances of him coming back and suggesting that you give your relationship another chance are quite high.

Related Reading: If He Loves You He Will Come Back No Matter What!

2. He wasted no time finding someone else

Your ex dating someone new may seem like one of the signs he will never come back but it’s not. A rebound relationship is a common way of dealing with a breakup. Whether it’s a one-night stand or a fling that lasts a few weeks, if he finds someone else immediately after the breakup, it means he’s not ready to be single again.

It could also mean he misses you, and this new woman in his life is just a stand-in for you. This is one of the most obvious signs he is heartbroken over you. So, if you’re asking yourself, “Will he come back if I leave him alone?” and then you see him with other women, rest assured that he’s just licking his wounds and will probably come back to you soon enough. It’s highly unlikely that he’s in this new relationship for the long haul unless he broke it off with you because he fell in love with the person he’s currently with.

3. You’re constantly “bumping into him” around town

If you come across your ex-boyfriend often around town, especially at the places he knows you like to hang out, it’s pretty obvious that he’s not over you and isn’t ready to close this chapter of his life. If he was genuinely trying to move on, he would make an effort to avoid places he knows you might be at. The fact you see him at your favorite coffee shop even though he doesn’t really like coffee or you’ve run into him at your neighborhood grocery store even though he doesn’t live in the area are signs you’ll get back together eventually.

Related Reading: The 7 Components Of Male Psychology During No-Contact Rule – Backed By An Expert

4. He’s still active on your socials

This one’s a bit of a no-brainer. If you intend to get over someone, the last thing you want is for them to pop up on your social media when you’re scrolling in bed at 3 AM. So, you’d either block them or restrict them so you don’t have to see them. The same is true for guys. If he hasn’t blocked you and still checks your social media posts or DMs you, then you can be pretty certain that he’s trying to find a way back into your life.

5. He plays mind games on social media

After a breakup, particularly a messy one, it is common for exes to block each other on social media in the heat of the moment. But if a few days or weeks later, you discover that he’s unblocked you, it’s a good sign that he regrets breaking up with you. Why else would he unblock you? It also shows that he’s been thinking about you.

It bears noting that if his mind games feel like he’s stalking you online, you should block him. You’re better off putting your dating life on hold rather than putting yourself through this kind of drama.

6. He drunk-dials (or texts) you quite often

Will he come back after no contact, you wonder? Well, if he has been drunk calling or texting you often, it’s an obvious sign that he wants a second chance. It means he’s been thinking about you when he’s sober, but he’s been using his willpower to refrain from reaching out. A little bit of alcohol can make quick work of that willpower and you wake up one morning with 37 missed calls and 99 texts saying, “You up?”

So, if you’ve been wondering, “He blocked me, will he come back?” or “He broke up with me, will he come back?”, you might find the answer in your phone buzzing off the hook in the middle of the night.

7. He wastes no time responding to your texts or calls

“He broke up with me, will he come back?” We have a litmus test for you that will put an end to all your dilemmas and apprehensions—try texting or calling him. If he wastes no time in responding, it’s a clear sign that he has been hoping to re-open a channel of communication. Even if you’re just calling to get some of your stuff back, he may try to steer the conversation toward the idea of a reconciliation. Or he may suggest hanging out or meeting up for coffee, which is a low-key date in his mind. These are subtle signs your ex wants to back.

8. He’s holding on to the things you left at his place

Another way to resolve your “will he ever come back” quandary is to call him to ask for your stuff back. If he drags his feet on the issue, it could mean that he’s keeping your stuff for its sentimental value. He likes to be reminded of you because he’s not ready to let you go, which means that he would definitely be on board with the idea of a reconciliation.

Related Reading: 17 Signs He Still Loves You After The Breakup

9. He’s still in touch with your social circle

After a breakup, people usually avoid their ex and their ex’s social circle. Because if you’re really trying to move on, why would you want to be reminded of your ex? But if your ex-boyfriend is still talking to your friends and family, it could mean that he’s trying to keep a line of communication with you open… “just in case.”

Perhaps, he is not ready to get in touch with you directly or through your social media out of the apprehension that it may make him look desperate, clingy, or needy. So, he chooses this way to stay in your life without coming on too strong. He’s letting you know that he’s still around in case you want to change your mind. So if you’re asking yourself, “Will he come back after no contact?” or “Will he come back if I leave him alone?”, maybe ask your friends if they’ve heard from him.

10. He remembers the important dates

It’s your first anniversary since the breakup and you’re wondering to yourself, “Does he miss me? Will he come back when he’s ready for a relationship?” And then you look at your phone and see a text saying something about your would-be anniversary. If he was trying to move on, he wouldn’t have done that. The fact that he did means he’s still interested in you.

If it was your birthday and he sent you a basic “happy birthday” text, it could mean that he just wants to stay friends. But only as long as he’s just wishing you for your birthday. If he asks you about your plans for the day or how things have been going for you, it’s one of the signs he is heartbroken over you and toying with the idea of getting back together. Perhaps, he needed some space and time to gain a little perspective on how important this relationship is to him. You know what they say, let him go, he’ll come back to you.

Related Reading: 8 Signs You Are Dating A Needy Man And 5 Things You Can Do About It

11. He asks you out in subtle ways

If you’re wondering, “Do guys come back after the slow fade?” or “Do guys always come back”? there’s no one-size-fits-all answer. Some do, some don’t. But there are signs that can tell you that he’s coming back and some of these signs can be subtle. For example, if he texts you about a musical that you both like and says it would be nice to bump into you at the upcoming gig, he’s asking you out. If he shares a new restaurant that he knows you like, he’s asking you out. If he “accidentally” orders food that lands up at your place because he “forgot” to delete your address from his food delivery app… you guessed it, he’s asking you out.

12. He’s depressed and wallowing in self-pity

Depression is a natural part of the grieving process. But if your ex’s depression doesn’t give way to the next phase of the process, it could mean that he isn’t ready to give up on you. It would be wise to tread carefully in this situation because it could be a tactic to win you back by appealing to your empathy, which is a huge red flag. It could mean that he’s trying to manipulate you and if you go back to him, this might become a never-ending cycle with him.

13. He’s not bad-mouthing you behind your back

A common reaction to a breakup is to bad-mouth one’s ex. If your ex is not doing this, it could mean that he still has feelings for you. If he didn’t want you in his life, he wouldn’t care enough to refrain from speaking ill of you, right? If you’re asking yourself, “Will he ever come back?”, ask some of your ex’s friends if he’s said anything about you. If it’s all good, then he probably still cares about you.

14. He IS talking about you behind your back

But on the other hand, talking about you behind your back might mean he’s angry that it’s over. People say crazy things when they’re angry, things they don’t mean. Such is the male mind during no contact and this could be the case with your ex. However, the question is whether or not you want to be with a guy who is so reactive that he can’t control his tongue when he’s overcome with emotion. Being in a relationship might not be worth this kind of trouble.

Related Reading: No Contact With A Narcissist – 7 Things Narcissists Do When You Go No Contact

15. He was a long-distance love

Long-distance relationships are notoriously hard to maintain, especially when it’s hard to meet a la really long-distance relationships. What happens often in these cases is a slow fade rather than an abrupt breakup. So do guys come back after the slow fade? If the relationship was good while it lasted, chances are very high that he will. After all, there was no messy breakup to make him think twice. There are only old memories that make him feel good. If this isn’t motivation, nothing is.

Negative Signs He Probably Won’t Come Back

On the flip side, some signals are telling you to move on. If your ex displays clear closure behaviors, it’s a strong sign he isn’t coming back. Here are some negative clues:

• No contact or blocking: If he’s stopped all communication, blocked you or ignores your messages for an extended time, it’s a strong sign he’s cut you off
• New serious relationship: He quickly moves on with someone else or is openly dating. If he’s involved with someone new, he likely doesn’t intend to come back
• Returned belongings or asking for yours: Handing back gifts, photos, or any personal items signals he’s closing that chapter
• Cold indifference: He treats you like a stranger, shows no emotion or interest when you meet, or is even dismissive. Indifference can be a form of finality
• Toxic or abusive breakup: If the split was due to serious issues such as abuse, violence, deep dysfunction, experts agree it’s best to leave that relationship in the rearview mirror
• Mutual decision: If your breakup was mutual or he insisted it’s for the best, the odds of reunion are much lower

Therapists emphasize that recognizing these signals is crucial. If multiple red flags appear, it may be healthiest to focus on yourself and let go of the past. 

Related Reading: 17 Powerful Signs From The Universe Your Ex Is Coming Back 

Factors That Influence the Likelihood of a Comeback

Many things influence whether he’ll come back. This includes both his traits and your situation. For instance, your ex’s personality and attachment style make a difference. People with anxious attachment often feel compelled to reconnect, while others might move on more quickly. Those high in attachment anxiety may return to repair a shaken self-image. 

The nature of the breakup matters too. An amicable split can leave room for reconsideration, but betrayal or a painful breakup makes reconciliation much harder. How long you were together and how invested you were also counts. Longer, deeper relationships create stronger bonds. Relationship coach Chris Seiter points out, “Long-term couples often reconcile more successfully because the investment of time matters.” The more years and shared commitments you have, the higher the chance that one or both of you might give the relationship another try.

Other factors can play roles too. If your ex quickly jumped into a rebound, the chances of him coming back might be lower unless that fling fizzles. Life changes or cultural pressures, like moving back to the same hometown or being in a close-knit community, can also influence behavior. In short, there’s no simple formula. Personality, breakup style, history, and context all interweave to shape his decision.

What To Do When He Comes Back To You

What You Should Do If He Comes Back

Let’s say the answer to your question, “Will he come back?”, turns out to be a yes, or at least, you see a strong possibility of a reconciliation, what should your next move be? As tempting as it may be to jump back in with both feet, proceeding with caution is warranted. Here’s what you should if he does come back or a reconciliation seems to be in the offing:

1. Before reconnection

Before you even consider getting back together, reflect on why you want him back and whether it’s healthy. Use the no-contact period as a reset. Dr. Stratyner says, “A break gives space to heal and gain clarity. Spend this time on self-care, setting boundaries on what you will or won’t accept, and working on your own goals.”

Focus on your own life, hobbies, friends, therapy, whatever makes you happy. The stronger and more fulfilled you become on your own, the less vulnerable you are to settling for something unhealthy later.

2. During first contact

When he finally reaches out, don’t rush or panic. Wait until you feel calm and ready, then respond with a friendly, upbeat tone. Keep things casual and positive rather than intense or overly emotional.

Use a respectful, honest tone. If you talk in person or over text, focus on listening as much as speaking. Avoid assigning blame. Relationship expert Yue Xu advises, “Write down all the reasons for your breakup and give yourself a few weeks to gain clarity before fully engaging again.” This prevents you from impulsively repeating the past.

Meanwhile, show that you’re doing well. Bring up happy or neutral topics at first, maybe a funny memory or a shared interest, and see how he responds. When you share about yourself and your life, do it with positivity and confidence. This balance of warmth and self-assurance can be very attractive and sets a strong foundation for any future dialogue.

Related Reading: 7 Stages Of Getting Back Together With An Ex

3. If he comes back

If he’s serious about getting back together, talk openly about what went wrong. Make sure you both truly understand the issues. Resist pretending nothing happened. Resolving the real problems is essential if you two start fresh.

“Trust may have been damaged by the breakup. Take it slowly. Keep promises, be consistent, and communicate your feelings honestly,” advises Dr. Stratyner. Be clear about what you need from each other this time. That might mean, 

• Agreeing on better communication
• Defining relationship boundaries
• Discussing where you both see the relationship heading

Having these conversations upfront helps both partners feel secure. Positive reinforcement also goes a long way. If he shows consistent effort like following through on a promise or making you feel appreciated, let him know you notice. Thank him for the effort. This kind of encouragement can motivate him to keep doing the right things, making rebuilding trust more possible.

4. If he doesn’t come back

If he doesn’t come back, allow yourself to grieve the loss. It’s normal to feel sad, angry, or disappointed. Journaling your feelings or talking to a trusted friend or therapist can help you gain closure. Remind yourself that his decision isn’t a reflection of your worth.

Try to find the lessons in the experience. Many people discover strengths and new desires within themselves after a breakup. Embrace any personal growth from this time. Remember that the end of one relationship is often the start of new opportunities, emotionally and in life.

Focus on building confidence and a life you love. Pursue goals and activities that make you happy independent of anyone else. As time goes on, allow yourself to meet new people or try new things, but only when you feel truly ready.

Related Reading: 15 Signs You Are Wasting Your Time Trying To Get Your Ex Back

Protecting Your Mental & Emotional Well-Being

Agonizing over, “Will he come back?”, trying to decide whether or not to reconnect with an ex, restarting a relationship or making the difficult decision to move on for good can all be too emotionally draining. It’s crucial to protect your mental and emotional well-being through it all.  

• Don’t cling to false hope: Continuously replaying, “Will he come back?”, in your mind keeps you trapped. Acknowledge your feelings, but also move forward. Xu recommends writing down your feelings and reasons for the breakup, during the no-contact process, then setting those thoughts aside. This kind of journaling can help you see reality more clearly and avoid rash decisions
• Spot emotional games: Watch out for manipulative behavior. If he only contacts you when he’s bored or sad, sends mixed signals, or plays hot-and-cold games, that’s unhealthy. A healthy partner should be steady and respectful, not treat you like a game. Learning to spot these patterns is crucial for your self-protection
• Choose yourself: No matter what he does or decides, remember that your needs come first. You have the right to prioritize your healing and happiness. Take care of yourself by doing things that make you feel good and empowered. Xu emphasizes putting yourself first during this time isn’t selfish, it’s self-preservation

Seek support: You don’t have to go through this alone. Consider therapy, support groups, or talking with friends and family to process the breakup. Many people find that sharing their feelings and getting outside perspectives helps speed healing. Experts note that discussing the breakup or writing it out can keep you from getting stuck in unhealthy thought patterns

FAQs

Final Thoughts

At this point you have a toolkit of signs, timelines, and actions to handle the uncertainty. The question “will he come back?” may linger, but you can now face the answer, whatever it is,  armed with insight. Trust yourself, seek support, and take each day at a time. Whether he returns or not, you will come out of this stronger and wiser. Remember, asking “will he come back?” is natural, but try using that question to redirect your energy toward your growth instead of being trapped by it.

What To Do When He Ghosts You And Comes Back

20 Signs Your Ex Will Never Come Back

Why Do Guys Stop Texting And Then Start Again? 12 True Reasons Why

Your contribution does not constitute a charitable donation. It will allow Bonobology to continue bringing you new and up-to-date information in our pursuit of helping anyone in the world to learn how to do anything.