30 Ways To Know If A Guy Secretly Loves You, But Is Too Shy To Admit It

Dating experience | |
Updated On: December 18, 2024
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Are you someone who often spends restless nights thinking about your crush and wondering if you are on their mind too? The hardest and the most frustrating part of falling in love is not knowing whether the other person feels the same way. This can leave you wondering how to tell if someone likes you. Well, the truth is, there will always be subtle signs he secretly loves you. Yes, even if he is trying hard to keep his feelings under wraps. 

Even the most introverted of guys give off certain signals to make it obvious that they secretly love you. Yes, it is natural to get confused and baffled because deciphering romantic feelings can be quite complicated. And you wouldn’t want to jump the gun or even get your hopes up unless you see sure-shot signs he loves you.  Has that quest for clarity left you wondering how to know if a guy loves you secretly? Or what are the secret signs he likes you but is hiding it? We’re here to help you with 30 undeniable signs that he is secretly crazy about you. So, let’s get going…

30 Undeniable Signs He Secretly Loves You

Since, traditionally, guys are expected to make the first move, most guys do not hesitate to express their love when they are genuinely interested in a woman. However, some guys are shy and only give out subtle signals to show their admiration toward the girl they’re interested in. 

On signs a guy secretly loves you, a Reddit user says, “A definite tell is when you catch ’em looking at you a lot. Now, that doesn’t necessarily mean they like you romantically, but it does mean they’re interested. They’ll go out of their way to help you or make themselves useful to you if need be. They’ll find excuses to hang out while trying to pretend they’re not doing that. There’s more eye contact, and definitely more skin contact, where it be hugging, or accidentally touching your hand while you walk, and stuff like that.”

So, if you are wondering, “Is he in love with me?”, and are dying to know whether he likes you secretly, we are here to put an end to your confusion. Once you learn to spot the tell-tale signs that a guy loves you secretly, you will have all the clarity you need about where you stand with him and what your next steps should be. Let’s take a look at 30 secret signs he likes you but is hiding it:

1. He will always smile when you are around

If you’re wondering how to tell if he loves you, well, start by paying attention to how he behaves around you. The biggest giveaway of his feelings will be his smile he will just not be able to rein in when he sees you. So, this will perhaps put to rest all your queries such as “Is he in love with me?”

But though a smile is a good sign, is it enough to deduce that he is secretly crazy about you? Well, it’s the way he smiles that will tell you all you need to know. Here are a few things to watch out for when you’re confused about ways guys hint they like you: 

  • He won’t just smile, your presence will light up his face
  • Seeing you will bring a smile to his face even when he is having a bad day
  • Even if he is in a bad mood and avoiding other people, he will still greet you with a smile
signs he secretly loves you but is scared
There will be tell-tale signs he secretly loves you but is scared

2. The guy makes an effort to talk to you

When a guy loves you secretly, he will put in the effort to nurture the relationship he already shares with you, making an effort to talk to you. Now, the topics could range from your favorite movies to your career goals and future plans. A Reddit user agrees and says, “He wants to talk to you consistently, and/or all day. He confides in you. He shares personal things.”

One of our readers, Adrien, who identifies as a shy introvert, told us the lengths he would go to, to make sure he could talk to his now-wife, Ella. When they first became friends, he was too intimidated to have one-on-one conversations with her and only interacted with her in a group setting. She was fascinated by Indian mythology and he claims that he became an expert on the subject in just over two weeks, just to strike up some quality conversations with her. This is an absolute sign a guy likes you more than a friend.

Related Reading: 27 Ways To Tell Someone You Love Them Without Saying It

3. He keeps his promises

If you’re often asking yourself, “Is he in love with me?”, remember, one of the tell-tale signs he secretly loves you is when he takes even the smallest promises made to you seriously and goes the extra mile to ensure you’re not disappointed. Under no circumstances would he like to annoy or upset you by not living up to his word. 

These promises don’t have to be grand or ‘larger than life’. Below are some such instances: 

  • He travels halfway across town to get you your favorite dessert 
  • He shows up to meet you even in the pouring rain
  • The plans made with you – be it going to the movies or getting coffee – don’t slip his mind, no matter how busy he is

4. He tries to find common interests

Wondering how to know if someone loves you secretly online or in real? You may want to pay close attention to his attempts to find common ground to connect over. Maybe, it is his way of telling you what a good fit you’d be for each other and indicating his willingness to settle down with you. Or perhaps, he is looking for ways to spend time with you, doing things you both enjoy. 

This is his way of letting you know that you both are compatible and can think about a future together. He will want to be a part of your life and get to know you better in your comfort zone. This is an absolute sign he loves you without saying it.

Related Reading: 8 Signs From the Universe that Love Is Coming Your Way

5. He will find excuses to be with you

Do you often ask yourself, “Does he secretly have feelings for me?” If yes, notice whether he tries to spend as much time with you as possible. Does your coworker stick around and wait for you when he can actually go home? Does he wait for you to grab a bite with him at lunch break? These are classic signs he secretly loves you or is falling for you

A friend of mine, Brenda, once wondered if her now-husband, Chris, liked her. Chris and Brenda attended a dance class together and became friends within days of meeting each other. Chris would often find ways to be with Brenda, even if it meant having coffee right after class, along with their common dance class buddies. He eventually asked her out on a date and they clicked!

6. Flirting with you comes naturally to him

Flirting is a clear sign that someone has a genuine interest in you. But how do you tell if someone has real feelings for you? Well, here are some signs to watch out for:

  • Whenever he flirts with you, it will be absolutely effortless
  • He might use cute one-liners spontaneously when he shows interest
  • He will make eye contact and hold your gaze
  • His spontaneous texting habits are a giveaway
  • There will be a little bit of humor and playfulness in his flirtatious behavior
Does he like me quiz

7. He remembers everything you say to him

Are you still wondering how to know if someone likes you back? Or what are the signs someone is secretly in love with you? These can seem like very confusing questions, but they really aren’t. The answers are often simple and right before your eyes. For instance, when a guy secretly likes you, he will remember every little thing you say to him.

What kind of things, you may wonder. Well, here’s a little list of things about he might never forget:

  • Your favorite color
  • Issues you are facing at work
  • How you like your coffee 
  • Your go-to song when you are in a bad mood

You will always find him attentive to you, no matter how trivial the conversation between you two is. This is his way of showing his affection toward you and letting you know how important you are to him. Well, don’t they say love is visible in the smallest of gestures?

Related Reading: 10 Signs Your Relationship Will Last Forever

8. He’s conscious around you

A man who is secretly in love with you will want you to think highly of him and will always be conscious about:

  • What he says
  • How he dresses
  • How he smells

Even though he may not be ready to express his true feelings yet, he would want to make sure that you find him attractive. These are surely some of the most classic signs he secretly wants you or likes you more than you think. If you like him too, maybe drop a hint that will give him the confidence to take things forward. 

9. He defends you in front of others

His secret love for you will make him very protective of you, and you’ll notice that he’s always got your back. Here are a few signs to watch out for:

  • If you find yourself in a tight spot, he will be there to support and defend you
  • If he feels you were in the wrong, chances are, he will speak to you about it in private
  • He will want you to think you can rely on him and will almost never put you down or let others put you down

This does not mean that he will not playfully tease you, but he will never do or say something that is insensitive or hurtful. This is because when a guy secretly loves you, his hero instinct automatically kicks in. 

Related Reading: 11 Reasons Why You Must Date Your Polar Opposite

10. He uses social media accounts to stay in touch with you

If you’re still confused about how to know if someone likes you, see if they’re trying to build a special connection with you in the virtual realm. For instance, a guy who is secretly crazy about you will make an effort to continuously stay in touch with you and get updates on your life through social media accounts. His online behavior patterns will send out clear signs that he likes you. Here are some such signs: 

  • He sends you thoughtful good night and good morning messages (not random forwards)
  • If you post a story, he’s most probably the first person to heart-react to it
  • If he sees you online, he’s sure to DM you
  • He tries his best to keep text conversations with you going, sometimes late into the night
how to know someone loves you
There are ways to know if someone loves you

11. His friends know all about you

One of the clearest signs a man has feelings for you is that his inner circle knows all about you. You may not know all his friends, but they surely know who you are. His friends may even tease him about his love life in front of you or make subtle digs at how you guys are perfect for each other. This will make him blush because he secretly agrees with them and feels that he shares a special connection with you. This is among the surest signs he secretly loves you but is hiding it or he wants you to notice him.

12. The body language of a man secretly in love with you acts as a big indicator

A guy who does not use his words to express his emotions will use his body language to let you know what is on his mind. Here are a few body language signs he likes you but is hiding it:

  • He leans toward you while talking to you
  • He frequently fidgets, meaning he gets nervous around you
  • He will jump at the chance of sitting next to you in group settings
  • He will maintain prolonged eye contact

So, look out for the body language of a man secretly in love with you and you will never wonder again if he cares about you!

Related Reading: Is Unconditional Love In A Relationship Really Possible? 12 Signs You Have It

13. He does not shy away from physical contact

One of the secret signs he likes you is when he tries to make physical contact with you while showing respect for your boundaries. This physical proximity will be oddly comforting for him – and you, if you feel the same way about him. Soon this will establish a comfort zone where you might notice:

  • He’s touching your hands
  • He’s patting your shoulders
  • Your fingers momentarily intertwine 
  • A lot of accidental brushes

These are definitely some signs he secretly loves you but is hiding it.

14. Your thoughts and opinions matter to him

One of the signs he secretly loves you is when he attaches a lot of value to your opinions of him. So, in this case, he is bound to ask you for your opinion when:

  • He is in trouble 
  • He is confused about something
  • He is facing a dilemma 
  • He has a life-changing decision to make

Even if your opinions differ with his, he will intently listen to you and value what you have to say.

Related Reading: 9 Beautiful Signs Of Loving Relationships

15. He shares his thoughts with you

The mind is perhaps the sexiest part of a person, as it reveals how they think. One of the signs he secretly loves you but is scared to make it obvious is that he will feel comfortable sharing his thoughts with you but won’t make any more moves. He’d open up to you as he does with no one else.

You will notice him sharing his feelings and vulnerabilities, and pouring his heart out to you. Even if he is an introvert in love and is afraid to open up to people, he will be at ease around you. This is an early sign of true love from a man who may be too shy to express his feelings to you. 

16. He tries to keep you happy

When a guy loves you, he wouldn’t want to risk losing you or the special connection he shares with you. And that’s why he will do everything in his power to keep you happy. He will not only make sure that you feel good, safe, and secure in his company but will also make sure you are never bored. Here are some signs a man values you and wants you to see how happy he can make you: 

  • He will pay you genuine compliments 
  • He will show you his humorous side 
  • He may playfully annoy you  
  • He may go out of his way to make sure you get what you want

17. He doesn’t feel awkward looking at you

Are you still googling, “How to tell if someone likes you?” Even if he is trying his best to hide his real feelings, his eyes will give it all away. You might catch him looking at you lovingly, especially when you are not looking at him. You know a man is falling in love when he can’t help but make eye contact with you.

However, he will not feel awkward doing this, because he adores you. And this is how he shows he secretly loves you. You might catch his eye too, and the fact that you are noticing this will make him stare at you more. This is how to know someone loves you.

Related Reading: 15 Funny Ways To Annoy Your Girlfriend

18. He notices every change you make in your appearance

When a man remembers the tiniest details about your physical appearance, it’s a clear sign he is invested in you. Be it a new haircut, a new dress, or a new pair of shoes, he will notice it all. This attention to detail is how to know if someone loves you secretly.

19. His tone will change

The way he speaks to you will be markedly different from the way he speaks to other girls. So, this is what you can expect when you’re wondering how to know someone loves you:

  • When he talks to you, he will probably make it a point to speak softly, charmingly, and pleasantly
  • Along with the tone of this voice, the intensity of his gaze will make something stir inside of you
  • Even when you speak to him on the phone, he’d talk in a low, sexy tone

This is an early sign that he has caught feelings for you or sees you as someone special

20. He mimics your actions

One of the tell-tale signs a man has feelings for you is that he’d begin to mimic your actions. So, watch out for these signs:

  • He will most likely mirror the way you move your hand, the way you sit, or the way you talk
  • He may arrange his desk just like yours 
  • He may get the same items that you own, such as the same water bottle or phone case as yours
  • He may even start adopting habits or activities you like, such as reading or listening to music

 If you have been struggling to decode the signs he loves you secretly, pay attention to this one. Since mimicking your actions is a subconscious manifestation of attraction, it’s hard to hide. So, this is how to know someone loves you.

Related Reading: Top 9 Tips To Build Trust In Relationships

21. He surprises you with gifts

The gifts he gives you may not be luxurious or expensive, but they will always be thoughtful. For instance:

  • A box of chocolates with a handwritten note to wish you luck ahead of an important event 
  • A hand-bound book with a leather cover (because he knows how much you love collecting them) 
  • A nice branded lipstick (since he knows you love the brand and the shade)

This is a sign that a man remembers the minutest details about you and that what’s important to you matters to him. These simple gestures are his way of telling you how much he loves you, without saying anything at all.

On Crushes

22. Your special days are special for him as well

If a man remembers your birthday and any other special days in your life, he obviously likes you. He will even celebrate and go the extra mile to make you feel good and let you know how much you mean to him. 

If it’s your birthday, he might plan a surprise for you. If you get a promotion, he may show up at your door with a bouquet and take you out to celebrate. Such thoughtfulness is rare nowadays, and the fact that he is going above and beyond for you makes it clear how special you are to him. This is how to know someone loves you.

23. He is always texting you

Are you still wondering how to tell if someone likes you through text? Or how to know if someone loves you secretly online? Pay attention to the effort he puts into staying in touch with you constantly. If a guy is sharing the minutest details of his day with you over text, be assured you are on his mind all the time. Not only will he initiate texting but will also reply quickly to any text you send him. From “good morning” to “good night” texts to sharing jokes and memes and giving you a blow-by-blow account of his day, he’d practically spend his whole day with you.

Related Reading: How Guys Text When They Like You – We Give You 15 Clues

24. He asks you a lot of questions

If someone likes you, they’d want to know a lot about you. So, if a guy has been crushing on you, he’d ask you questions to know you better. And these questions will not be superficial. They will be aimed at knowing the real you, not just the side of yourself you present to the world. So, they can also be personal questions, such as your relationship status. Given that real intimacy can be so rare nowadays, his earnest efforts to really get to know you is one of the clearest signs he loves you secretly.

25. He introduces you to his inner circle

This is how to tell if someone likes you: they let you into their inner circle. While he may not have gathered the nerve to tell you how he feels, he will show he secretly wants you. Here’s what to watch out for:

  • He introduces you to his loved ones 
  • He invites you to a family event, such as a Thanksgiving dinner or a birthday party 
  • He asks you to join him and his friends for a movie outing 
  • He asks you to be his ‘plus one’ at a wedding

These are all secret signs a man loves you and sees you as a permanent part of his life. Chances are when you meet his loved ones, they’d lavish you with undivided attention, care, and pampering because they know how much you mean to him or how much he loves you. If you notice any of these signs, you can rest assured you’re aware of how to know if a man loves you secretly.

26. He displays hints of jealousy

One unmistakable giveaway of his feelings is the hint of jealousy that will shine through in his words, behavior, and body language if a third person gets involved in the equation. Let’s say, some guy asks you out and you agree to go on a date with him. It’s bound to rile up the guy who has been harboring intense feelings for you. You may notice that he is:

  • Sulking
  • Brooding
  • Not being his usual endearing self around you

Now, we don’t recommend that you flaunt your proximity to or interest in another man just to make him jealous. But if there is someone else who’s interested in you, try to nonchalantly mention it to him. And you will no longer have to wonder whether he secretly loves you. 

Related Reading: How to Fall In Love Again – This Time In The Small Things Of Life

27. He’s no longer looking to date 

One of the clearest signs he loves you secretly is that he’s gone off the dating game completely. So, he may be:

  • Uninstalling dating apps
  • Not checking out other girls
  • Not texting potential romantic interests

It’s not hard to understand why. He has already found ‘the one’ in you, and everyone else is just pale in comparison. He might also be ready to be in an exclusive relationship with you and would naturally want to utilize his energies and efforts in wooing you and trying to get you to go out with him. This is how to know if a man loves you secretly.

signs of a shy guy in love
One clear sign someone loves you is when he’s no longer open to dating others

28. He’s clumsy around you

One of the secret signs a man loves you is that he is bound to be nervous around you. So, look out for the following signs:

  • He stutters or stammers in front of you
  • His legs keep shaking when he’s sitting in front of you
  • He gets sweaty palms when he’s around you
  • He drops things or knocks into furniture when you’re around him

Related Reading: The 5 Types Of Love Languages And How To Use Them For Happy Relationships

29. He’s a thorough gentleman when he’s with you

So, is he the epitome of chivalry when he’s with you? Well, need we say that the guy definitely likes you? In such cases, you may find him doing cliched but romantic things, such as:

  • Holding open doors for you
  • Making sure you’re not cold, by sharing his jacket with you
  • Walking you home after class
  • Brings you flowers when you aren’t in a good mood

30. He saves all your chats and photos

One of the ways guys hint they like you is when they archive all the digital memories associated with you. If you ever get access to his phone or laptop, or if your friends are lucky enough to do so, you may find everything that you’ve ever shared with him saved there. In such cases, he may never even delete old chats, just to re-read them and relive those funny and happy moments. This is a sure-shot sign that the guy secretly loves you.

Key Pointers

  • A guy may have intense feelings for you but may choose not to be vocal about it because he is shy or unsure of how you’d respond
  • However, the way men treat women can clearly convey how they really feel
  • If a guy is secretly in love with you, there will be signs – some subtle, others more obvious – in his behavior, body language, and demeanor around you
  • Once you notice these signs, your next steps will depend on whether or not you want to be with him. If you do, it won’t hurt for you to make the first move.

Remember the signs he secretly wants you are always there. You just need to know where to look. We hope these signs are enough to help erase all your doubts about the love and affection a guy has toward you and you now have a clear idea of how best to navigate the situation, depending on whether or not you like him back. 

FAQs

1. How to know if a guy loves you but is hiding it? 

It’s all there in his smile if he’s secretly in love. He wouldn’t be able to stop smiling around you if he loves you. You could even catch him staring at you often. But this is one of the signs he secretly loves you but is scared to make a move.

2. How to know if a guy loves you secretly through text? 

He would text you often and try to stay in touch with you over texts. He could be sending you emojis too to drop hints that he loves you secretly. 

3. What are the 3 hidden signs a man is falling in love with you? 

The three hidden signs he secretly wants you and is falling in love with you are:
1) His eyes always search for you,
2) His hero instinct kicks in, and 3) He talks about the future. 

4. How do you make a guy confess his feelings for you? 

To make a guy confess his feelings for you, you can drop hints to let him know you like him. Or you could be upfront and make the first move. Ask him out or kiss him. That ought to get his guard down. 

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