When a relationship with a man you’ve loved with all your heart ends, one of the most common and prominent thoughts usually is, “Will he come back?” This is true even if you were the one who initiated the breakup. And it’s completely natural. Your relationship was a big part of your life and now it’s gone. The sudden void in your life leaves you longing for that connection, that intimacy, and that feeling of belongingness.
For some, it can be a part of the grieving process and may not necessarily be about wanting a reconciliation. For others, this question can be the manifestation of the desire to get back together with their ex. If you’re in the second category and have been whether or not your ex will come back, you might want to learn about the clear signs that he will and the little indicators that he might. You might also want to know if giving him a second chance is a good idea. In this article, we will take a look at 15 signs that he will come back and what to do if he does.
Will He Come Back? 15 Signs That Indicate He Will
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There is little in life that leaves us more confused than relationship stuff, particularly breakups. If you were the one who was dumped, you might find yourself questioning your self-worth, you might ask a certain virtual confidante, “When a guy breaks up with you, will he come back?”
If you dumped him, you wonder if you did the right thing or if you should have given him a second chance. Either way, there’s a good chance you’ll ask yourself, “Will he come back?” Or wonder, what makes a man come back after a breakup? To help you find the answers, we’ve rounded up some surefire signs that your ex will come back to you.
1. You ended things due to a misunderstanding
Very often, misunderstandings lead to breakups. No matter how open and honest you were with each other, it’s possible that there was some breakdown in communication in your relationship where you failed to convey your feelings or emotions in the right way or could not understand your partner’s perspective or vice versa.
The fallout of such misunderstandings can be bad enough to push people to pull the plug on their relationship. If that’s the case, then it’s possible that both you and your ex will realize that the breakup was uncalled for. In such cases, the chances of him coming back and suggesting that you give you relationship another chance are quite high.
Related Reading: If He Loves You He Will Come Back No Matter What!
2. He wasted no time finding someone else
Your ex dating someone new may seem like one of the signs he will never come back but it’s not. A rebound relationship is a common way of dealing with a breakup is the infamous rebound. Whether it’s a one-night stand or a fling that lasts a few weeks, if he found someone else immediately after the breakup, it means he’s not ready to be single again.
It could also mean that he misses you, and this new woman in his life is basically just a stand-in for you. This is one of the most obvious signs he is heartbroken over you. So, if you’re asking yourself, “Will he come back if I leave him alone?” and then you see him with other women, rest assured that he’s just licking his wounds and will probably come back to you soon enough. It’s highly unlikely that he’s in this new relationship for the long haul, unless he broke it off with you because he fell in love with the person he’s currently with.
3. You’re constantly “bumping into him” around town
If you come across your ex-boyfriend often around town, especially at the places he knows you like to hang out, it’s pretty obvious that he’s not over you and isn’t ready to close this chapter of his life. If he was genuinely trying to move on, he would make an effort to avoid places he knows you might be at. The fact you see him at your favorite coffee shop even though he doesn’t really like coffee or you’ve run into him at your neighborhood grocery store even though he doesn’t live in the area are signs you’ll get back together eventually.
Related Reading: The 7 Components Of Male Psychology During No-Contact Rule – Backed By An Expert
4. He’s still active on your socials
This one’s a bit of a no-brainer. If you intend to get over someone, the last thing you want is for them to pop up on your social media when you’re scrolling in bed at 3 AM. So, you’d either block them or restrict them so you don’t have to see them. The same is true for guys. If he hasn’t blocked you and still checks your social media posts or DMs you, then you can be pretty certain that he’s trying to find a way back into your life.
5. He plays mind games on social media
After a breakup, particularly a messy one, it is common for exes to block each other on social media in the heat of the moment. But if a few days or weeks later, you discover that he’s unblocked you, it’s a good sign that he regrets breaking up with you. Why else would he unblock you? It also shows that he’s been thinking about you.
It bears noting that if his mind games feel like he’s stalking you online, you should block him. You’re better off putting your dating life on hold rather than putting yourself through this kind of drama.
6. He drunk-dials (or texts) you quite often
Will he come back after no contact, you wonder? Well, if he has been drunk calling or texting you often, it’s an obvious sign that he wants a second chance. It means he’s been thinking about you when he’s sober, but he’s been using his willpower to refrain from reaching out. A little bit of alcohol can make quick work of that willpower and you wake up one morning with 37 missed calls and 99 texts saying, “You up?”
So, if you’ve been wondering, “He blocked me, will he come back?” or “He broke up with me, will he come back?”, you might find the answer in your phone buzzing off the hook in the middle of the night.
Related Reading: 17 Signs He Still Loves You After The Breakup
7. He wastes no time responding to your texts or calls
“He broke up with me, will he come back?” We have a litmus test for you that will put an end to all your dilemmas and apprehensions—try texting or calling him. If he wastes no time in responding, it’s a clear sign that he has been hoping to re-open a channels of communication. Even if you’re just calling to get some of your stuff back, he may try to steer the conversation toward the idea of a reconciliation. Or he may suggest hanging out or meeting up for coffee, which is a low-key date in his mind. These are subtle signs your ex wants to back.
8. He’s holding on to the things you left at his place
Another way to resolve your “will he ever come back” quandary is to call him to ask for your stuff back. If he drafs his feet on the issue, it could mean that he’s keeping your stuff for its sentimental value. He likes to be reminded of you because he’s not ready to let you go, which means that he would definitely be on board with the idea of a reconciliation.
9. He’s still in touch with your social circle
After a breakup, people usually avoid their ex and their ex’s social circle. Because if you’re really trying to move on, why would you want to be reminded of your ex? But if your ex-boyfriend is still talking to your friends and family, it could mean that he’s trying to keep a line of communication with you open… “just in case.”
Perhaps, he is not ready to get in touch with you directly or through your social media out of the apprehension that it may make him look desperate, clingy, or needy. So, he chooses this way to stay in your life without coming on too strong. He’s letting you know that he’s still around in case you want to change your mind. So if you’re asking yourself, “Will he come back after no contact?” or “Will he come back if I leave him alone?”, maybe ask your friends if they’ve heard from him.
Related Reading: 8 Signs You Are Dating A Needy Man And 5 Things You Can Do About It
10. He remembers the important dates
It’s your first anniversary since the breakup and you’re wondering to yourself, “Does he miss me? Will he come back when he’s ready for a relationship?” And then you look at your phone and see a text saying something about your would-be anniversary. If he was trying to move on, he wouldn’t have done that. The fact that he did means he’s still interested in you.
If it was your birthday and he sent you a basic “happy birthday” text, it could mean that he just wants to stay friends. But only as long as he’s just wishing you for your birthday. If he asks you about your plans for the day or how things have been going for you, it’s one of the signs he is heartbroken over you and toying with the idea of getting back together. Perhaps, he needed some space and time to gain a little perspective on how important this relationship is to him. You know what they say, let him go, he’ll come back to you.
11. He asks you out in subtle ways
If you’re wondering, “Do guys come back after the slow fade?” or “Do guys always come back”? there’s no one-size-fits-all answer. Some do, some don’t. But there are signs that can tell you that he’s coming back and some of these signs can be subtle. For example, if he texts you about a musical that you both like and says it would be nice to bump into you at the upcoming gig, he’s asking you out. If he shares a new restaurant that he knows you like, he’s asking you out. If he “accidentally” orders food that lands up at your place because he “forgot” to delete your address from his food delivery app… you guessed it, he’s asking you out.
12. He’s depressed and wallowing in self-pity
Depression is a natural part of the grieving process. But if your ex’s depression doesn’t give way to the next phase of the process, it could mean that he isn’t ready to give up on you. It would be wise to tread carefully in this situation because it could be a tactic to win you back by appealing to your empathy, which is a huge red flag. It could mean that he’s trying to manipulate you and if you go back to him, this might become a never-ending cycle with him.
13. He’s not bad-mouthing you behind your back
A common reaction to a breakup is to bad-mouth one’s ex. If your ex is not doing this, it could mean that he still has feelings for you. If he didn’t want you in his life, he wouldn’t care enough to refrain from speaking ill of you, right? If you’re asking yourself, “Will he ever come back?”, ask some of your ex’s friends if he’s said anything about you. If it’s all good, then he probably still cares about you.
14. He IS talking about you behind your back
But on the other hand, talking about you behind your back might mean he’s angry that it’s over. People say crazy things when they’re angry, things they don’t mean. Such is the male mind during no contact and this could be the case with your ex. However, the question is whether or not you want to be with a guy who is so reactive that he can’t control his tongue when he’s overcome with emotion. Being in a relationship might not be worth this kind of trouble.
Related Reading: No Contact With A Narcissist – 7 Things Narcissists Do When You Go No Contact
15. He was a long-distance love
Long-distance relationships are notoriously hard to maintain, especially when it’s hard to meet a la really long-distance relationships. What happens often in these cases is a slow fade rather than an abrupt breakup. So do guys come back after the slow fade? If the relationship was good while it lasted, chances are very high that he will. After all, there was no messy breakup to make him think twice. There are only old memories that make him feel good. If this isn’t motivation, nothing is.
What To Do When He Comes Back To You
If he does come back to you, you have 3 choices: get back together with him, tell him you’re done, or ignore him. If you can’t decide what to do, here are some tips on how to handle the situation.
1. Get back together with him
If the relationship was good overall and even though you had your share of issues, there were no glaring red flags, then getting back together with him might not be such a bad idea. It beats having to go through the dating game again with someone else. Just don’t get back together solely because you’re feeling lonely. One breakup is not the end of your love life.
Related Reading: 12 Tips To Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back And Keep Him
2. Tell him you’re done
On the other hand, if the relationship was good but something in your gut tells you that he isn’t right for you, then you might want to tell him how you feel and put an end to it. Telling him that it’s over will help make sure he stops trying to reach out to you and if he’s a reasonable guy, he will take the hint.
3. Ignore him
But what if he’s not a reasonable guy? We covered a few big red flags earlier, namely the stalker and the emotional manipulator. In cases like this, it might help you to tell him that it’s over but there’s a huge chance he won’t listen. It might be safer for you to just ghost him and hope he gets the help he needs. Also, if you do decide to tell a guy like this that it’s over, do so safely, either over the phone or with someone else present. Your safety is way more important than your love life.
Frequently Asked Questions
1. How long does it take for a man to miss you?
A man’s mind after a breakup is a complicated thing to unravel. It could take a week, a month, or more for a guy to start missing you after a breakup. The different phases of the post-breakup experience don’t happen in the same order for all guys and in some cases could happen all at once. So, when do guys start to miss you after a breakup? Your guess is as good as anyone else’s.
2. Will he ever come back after dumping me?
This is also hard to say with conviction because all guys are different and all relationships are different. It depends on your ex and on the relationship you had with him. Was it a strong relationship or was one of you a rebound? Was it meaningful for one of you but just a fling for the other? Also, if he dumped you, are there some red flags in your behavior that you have to deal with? Many guys do come back even though they initiated the breakup but it’s not a hard and fast rule.
Key Pointers
- All breakups are inevitably accompanied by a “Do men always come back?” phase; this is a natural part of the grieving process
- Some positive signs that he might come back are the breakup happened over a simple misunderstanding, it was a long-distance relationship, he remembers the important dates, etc.
- Negative signs include stalking you on social media, emotional blackmail, and drunk-dialing you at all hours of the night
- Based on your gut feeling, you can choose to get back together with him, tell him it’s over, or ghost him (if you don’t feel safe talking to him)
Final Thoughts
If you’re still confused after reading this article, welcome to the club. Relationships and breakups are probably the most confusing aspects of the human experience and the best you can do is listen to your gut in matters like this.
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