Are you unnerved if a stranger on the subway stares at you but like the soft stare of the male barista at your local cafe? Well, you’re not alone. All women have, at some point, been stared at and not all stares evoke the same reaction. Some scare you, others flatter you. While that is par for the course, it can be a different conundrum altogether when you find yourself wondering, “Why do guys stare at me but never smile at me?” Well, there could be many reasons for that.

In this article, we will give you a detailed overview of the various reasons men stare at women. We will also tell you a bit about the psychology behind men staring at women and the various ways you can handle such a situation.

Psychology Of Staring At A Woman

Before addressing the question, “Why do guys stare at me but never smile?”, let’s try and understand the psychology of staring at a woman. Hypnotherapist Phil Taylor’s blog Body Language Matters states that men stare at women because they scour for “cues for fertility and reproductive potential, which have been important factors in the survival of our species.”

And it’s a known fact that not just men, but even women stare at other beautiful women, not just for competition but also because they admire what they see in front of them. Scientifically, this is what is known as local processing, that is, breaking down something into its parts and looking at the parts to admire the object.

Now, interestingly, a study has proven that men and women are stared at differently. The study stated that men’s images are perceived as a whole, whereas women’s images are seen as an assemblage of various body parts. As male chauvinistic as it may seem, men are seen as people and women as body parts.

Related Reading: Expert-Backed Signs Of Male Body Language Attraction

While men staring at women is just an evolutionary factor, men can stare at women inadvertently or even without having any sexual thoughts. We’ll see how in the next section.

Why Do Guys Stare At Me But Never Smile? 15 Possible Reasons

If you’re often found asking yourself, “Why do guys stare at me but never smile?”, well, here’s a similar example that came in from one of our readers. Sally, an accountant from Boston, says she has been noticing a coworker staring at her. One day, as she saw from the corner of her eye that he was looking at her, she decided to hold his stare and see what it led to. But he kept looking at her expressionless. She wondered, “Why do guys stare at me but never smile?”

But why do men who stare but never smile at us women perplex us so much? And how do we know if it’s a predatory stare, a friendly stare, or a flirtatious stare? Can it be just a blank stare where the man is not even looking at us but is preoccupied with something else? Here’s a detailed look at 15 such reasons that can make a man stare at you but not smile:

Related Reading: 15 Clear Signs He Likes You More Than You Think

1. He’s attracted to you

This is the obvious answer to why a guy stares at you but doesn’t smile. Here’s what a male user said about the same on Reddit: “It is not usually something we do consciously for the most part. Our eyes are drawn to things we will find attractive/suitable in a mate.”

The man might consider you physically and intellectually attractive. While this may make him stare, he probably doesn’t smile because:

• He is a man with low self-esteem and isn’t confident enough to take it forward
• He doesn’t think he matches up to your potential
• He isn’t interested in anything beyond staring at you and admiring your beauty and grace

2. He may just be zoning out

At times, it’s possible for men to stare at you without even realizing that they are doing so. For all you know, they could be daydreaming about the next big promotion or be preoccupied with thoughts related to something that’s going on in their lives.

Related Reading: Why Do Men Look At Other Women – 23 Real And Honest Reasons

3. He may be curious

Have you ever fancied dating your crush from high school? That crush who was unattainable? Have you ever had a fantasy of living or being with a celebrity who doesn’t know you exist? Have you ever been curious about what a certain influencer does on their average day?

Imagine the following scenario:

A man sitting across at a café keeps staring at you as you sit there and read a book. This could be due to his curiosity about what sort of a person you are, or he could just be amazed at the title of the book you’ve been reading.

Well, curiosity could be a good reason he stares at you but doesn’t smile (because he probably doesn’t see himself working on those fantasies).

4. He’s experiencing déjà vu

If you’re asking yourself, “Why do guys stare at me but never smile?”, consider this: they could be going through déjà vu.

Often, men may stare at you trying to place you somewhere in the past. They may have a feeling that they have seen or heard you somewhere or that they have known you in the past. But they probably can’t recall how they know you or where they have seen you. This could be a clear case of déjà vu and nothing to be alarmed at.

Related Reading: 15 Signs He Is Fantasizing About Someone Else

5. He’s inspired by you

It could very well be a case of inspiration. Now, this is what Sasha, a friend of mine, experienced. A regular at her local gym, she felt a man kept staring at her continuously from the moment she entered the gym every single day. 

This is what she told me: “I didn’t know what to do, initially. The man stared point blank but would look away the moment I looked at him. One fine day, he came up to me and said, “I hope I am not making you uncomfortable. You’re a strong woman and I admire your determination. Women usually don’t go for such tough workouts.” So, that day, I felt relieved and also happy that someone was inspired by my workouts.” 

6. He may be judging you

In both personal and professional settings, men might stare at women when they judge them for their hair, dress sense, or their overall demeanor (meaning, the way you walk or the way you converse in public). 

Related Reading: 20 Brilliant Tips For Dating A Shy Guy

So, they may not smile at you because they probably don’t approve of the way you present yourself in public. Here are some examples:

• Your male coworker judges you because of how you fumble at presentations
• A male passerby stares at you when you’re just being your socially awkward self when getting into a cab
• Your male best friend stares at you when you eat more than you should’ve (because, girl, you’re on a diet)

Such stares are almost always accompanied by frowns or negative body language, such as crossed arms.

7. He may be socially awkward or may fear rejection

For all you know, the man staring at you may just be socially awkward. So, this often happens at parties or events. Men, at times, wish to be 100% sure that the woman they wish to speak to or approach is interested in speaking to them or at least wouldn’t reject them at the outset. 

So, whether you call this social awkwardness or the fear of rejection, some men may just be at peace with staring at you rather than approaching you. We hope this answers your question, “What does it mean when a guy stares at you?”

8. He’s evaluating you

Cathy, my cousin, often told me how her male swimming instructor stared at her often. Though his stares weren’t creepy, she felt a little unnerved when he stared at her and often made silly mistakes at her swimming class. “I get so nervous when he does that! Oh my god! How do I tell him to stop?,” she once confided in me. 

Now, this sort of staring could just be a routine stare wherein the instructor, guide, or teacher is evaluating you. There’s nothing wrong about this one, though you can go ahead and communicate how you feel.

Related Reading: 30 Ways To Know If A Guy Secretly Loves You, But Is Too Shy To Admit It

9. He wants to talk to you

So, what does it mean when a guy stares at you without smiling? A man might stare at you just because he wishes to talk to you. So, this happened to Candice, an arts major at Rice University. She found a fellow male student staring at her at random places – at the library, at the hall, and even at the canteen. 

She got a little creeped out initially. This is what she wrote to us: “This senior at my university stares at me but acts uninterested. But why does he stare at me so intensely without smiling? Why doesn’t he approach me?” After a few days, another senior scholar at the same university suggested that this guy may just be wanting to initiate a conversation with her. And she was right. The guy eventually approached Candice at a university seminar and told her he would like to start an online book club with her. And if I go by Candice’s reaction, she was convinced that he was a decent chap after all.

10. He just likes to stare

When a guy stares at you, what is he thinking? Well, it’s possible he may have no thoughts or intentions. Some men just like to stare. They may not even like you or disapprove of you. But they seem to stare at you for no reason. There is no cure nor any explanation for this one. 

You’ll often find this trait in men above a certain age who sit in parks to just stare at people, especially women. Maybe they’re just into people watching. 

Related Reading: 15 Signs A Guy Is Nervous Around You And 5 Reasons Why

11. It’s his way of showing dominance

Often, especially in professional situations, men like to stare at women to show their dominance. Now, you could see them staring the same way at fellow men too, but when it comes to women, the stares get more dominating. Consider the following situations:

• Your male professor stares at you in an intimidating manner when you ask him a question in class
• Your male boss stares at you for a second before answering a question you ask him in a meeting

12. He’s trying to figure out if you like him

Now, this is obvious. If you’re left asking yourself, “Why does he stare at me so intensely without smiling?”, well, he may just be interested in you but unsure about how you’d react.

In other words, a guy might try and stare at you because he may be waiting for you to make a move and see if you stare back at him. In other words, he could just be testing if you like him.

So, this could be a random man at a metro station or at work. Now, he may not be smiling at you because he doesn’t wish to make things obvious. There’s no harm with such stares, unless he makes you feel uncomfortable with a lingering gaze.

Related Reading: 13 Signs A Man Is Falling In Love With You

13.He thinks you remind him of someone

So, when a guy stares at you, what is he thinking? Often, men may just stare at women who remind them of someone from their past. Now, this could appear as a prolonged eye-contact but no smile.

You may resemble a high-school teacher he had a crush on or a former girlfriend. Now, this sort of stare may not really be sexual. But that also means he wouldn’t be smiling at you while he stares.

14. He is trying to catch your attention

Now, shy people do this quite often. Imagine a man who boards the same bus as yours every day and stares at you till you get off at your destination. The stare may not be very creepy but may be intermittent. 

Now, this could mean he’s trying to catch your attention, without being too obvious. 

Related Reading: Mistakes Men Make While Trying To Impress Women

15. He’s comparing you with someone

He may just be comparing you with a friend, his girlfriend, or his wife. Men don’t often talk about this, but a lot of them actually gauge women by their looks and the way they carry themselves. 

So, in all probability, he’s staring at you because he likes something in you that he doesn’t see in women around him or in his family. 

7 Ways To Respond When A Guy Stares At You

“Why do guys stare at me but never smile?”, you keep asking. Trust me, tons of women have the same question. But what happens when a guy stares at you and you hate it? Should you confront him directly or stay away from him so that he can’t stare at you? 

And what happens when a man you like stares at you? Should you be initiating a conversation to let him know you fancy him too? Well, we have answers to all such questions. So, just sit back and read out list of 7 ways to respond when a guy stares at you:

Related Reading: 15 Examples On How To Respond To A Compliment From A Guy

1. Assess the situation

When a guy stares at you, it may be because of one of the reasons mentioned above. So, everyone who stares at you may not be a predator out to get you. Likewise, you may have actually been targeted by a creep. So, how do you go about it? Here’s how:

• Trust your gut: Go with your gut when it comes to the kind of stare you’re receiving. Find out if you’re just feeling uncomfortable or are scared of the person’s glare
• Check their body language: Open body language can indicate positive intentions, such as casual flirting. Close body language indicates negative intentions, such as intimidation
• Focus especially on eye-contact: A person’s eyes can tell almost everything. So, check whether there’s prolonged eye-contact but no smile, or if they look away when you look at them. A person trying to flirt will stare back at your eyes, while a person with malicious intentions will look away in guilt

2. Ignore if you aren’t comfortable

The best way to counter a stare that you wish to avoid is to ignore it. Nonchalance takes away the power of anything that’s out to destroy your peace. 

Here’s what a Reddit user advised another user who was in a dilemma whether to react or ignore stares: “Smile at friendly people. Ignore the weirdos.”

3. Smile, if you like him

If you get the hint that the person who’s staring at you may be trying to flirt with you subtly, and if you like the person enough, you may be asking yourself, “Why does my crush stare at me without smiling?”

In such situations, try:

• Staring back flirtatiously
• Holding the stare for 30 seconds
• Smiling along with staring back, so that he gets the confidence to smile back

Related Reading: 10 Things You Can Do When A Guy Acts Interested, Then Backs Off

4. Ask him questions

If you wish to confront someone whose stares you aren’t comfortable with, communicate openly. Ask them why they’re staring at you, directly. You can ask them questions such as:

• “Hey! Don’t mind me asking, but why do I find you staring at me often? Do you have any questions?”
• “Hey, dude, is something bothering you? Why are you staring like that?”
• “I’m sorry, but I am kinda uncomfortable with you staring at me like that! It would be great if you could just let me know what the issue is.”

This is bound to startle a potential predator right away.

5. Ask him to help you out

If you would like to take the next step and find out why a man is staring at you (and this is only when you like the man or are enjoying the attention), initiate a conversation by asking him to help you out with something (instead of asking yourself, “Why does my crush stare at me without smiling?”)

For instance:

• If you catch a man staring at you in the library, ask him to help you look for a book
• If you find a male coworker staring at you, ask him to help you with the office printer or your laptop

This way, you will know if the guy’s actually interested in knowing you or was just casually staring at you. 

Related Reading: The 18 Signs Of A Confident Man That Women Look For

6. Set boundaries

If you think you are gravely uncomfortable with a man’s stare, set some visible boundaries, such as:

• Moving away or out of his sight when he stares at you, to make it obvious you aren’t liking it
• Starting a conversation with another coworker/a friend (to make it seem like you’re discussing this person and his stare)
• Calling up someone in front of the person and talking about how some people make you feel awkward with their stares

7. Involve a third party

When all else fails and you are still the target of unwelcome stares, try speaking to a third party at the place where you’re being stared at, to let others know you’re uncomfortable. This will save you from further complications if the situation worsens in the future. So, for instance:

• You can speak to the gym owner if you’re being stared at by the gym trainer too much. You can let them know you’re not comfortable with it.
• At work, you can let your boss know you aren’t liking being stared at by your male coworker

Infographic On Reasons Why A Man Stares At Women

Well, let’s get a brief look at the various reasons a man stares at women:

Final Thoughts

Yes, stares can be weird, flirtatious, and even predatory. Eventually, it’s all about how you feel about being stared at. So, if you like that cute guy who keeps staring at you at work, why don’t you go ahead and strike up a conversation? You can do the same if you keep asking yourself, “Wonder why he stares at me but acts uninterested?”

Remember, it’s up to a woman to draw boundaries around her to let men know she isn’t liking being ogled. It’s also a woman’s choice whether she wishes to take things forward with someone who’s sending her signals through stares.

How To Ask A Girl Out On A Date – 18 Tips To Make Her Say Yes

How To Talk To Women And Impress Them Instantly

13 Proven Ways To Get A Guy’s Attention

Your contribution does not constitute a charitable donation. It will allow Bonobology to continue bringing you new and up-to-date information in our pursuit of helping anyone in the world to learn how to do anything.