Best friends know each other like the back of their hand. You can depend on them to be your best cheerleader and your worst critic. This also makes the relationship inevitably an intimate one. But what happens when you fall in love with your best friend?
The intimacy that best friends share is of a unique kind. The history that you have both created together means that your communication is on a different level. You both can appreciate silences together, start thinking alike and respect each other’s values.
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What Do You Do When You Fall In Love With Your Best Friend?
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This kind of intimacy is required when you’re in a romantic relationship as well. While friends might not always get romantically involved, romantic partners benefit from being friends with each other. This also means that sometimes, your best friends are easiest to fall in love with.
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To confess your love, however, can be especially difficult here. You are afraid to lose them for if they don’t feel the same way, it can make the whole relationship awkward.
But how do you know if you are in love with your best friend? That’s a tricky question but 23-year-old university student Monica says that the moment she started getting jealous of his dates she realised she had fallen for her best friend.
“We always told each other about our dates because we were childhood pals. We never had any secret between us. So I knew all his girlfriends and he knew all my boyfriends. But when I came to university I left town and started missing him like anything. Then when he told me about the girl he was going out with I couldn’t tolerate her. When I told him not to tell me anymore about his dates he realised I was in love.”
Monica’s best friend surprised her though. He took a flight to her university and landed up at her dorm with flowers. This best friend love story had a happy ending but telling your best friend you are in love with him is not an easy thing.
How To Tell Your Best Friend That You Are In Love With Him?
You are inevitably scared how the friendship would suffer if your best friend doesn’t have the same feelings for you. So you find it hard to tell them. What to do when you fall in love with your best friend? In our opinion there are a few steps you can take to let you best pal know about your feelings. We list 5 for you.
1. Confess your love to him
One of the ways in which you can tell your best friend that you love him is by simply confessing it. You have to remember that love isn’t a safe game to play.
You have to bet all that you have got and hope for the best. More often than we would care to admit, we will lose the bet but the prize of being with someone you love is worth the odds. You can’t be safe and love, that’s the best and the worst part of it. So you have to take the risk and tell your best friend about your feelings.
Chances are he would tell you the same. We can already see you smiling.
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2. Plan a grand proposal
If you have an inkling of their feelings towards you, you can plan a detailed proposal. You already know them pretty well which means you won’t have to worry about offending them or doing something they might find underwhelming when you tell them about your feelings.
He might have even told you how he wishes he would be wooed so you have a guide that’s been provided to you by the very person. Use that guide. Use your best friend status to your advantage when you tell him you have fallen for him.
3. Go for the experiment
I mean the non-kinky experimentation here. Try and flirt with him. Compliment him on how good a date he will be. See how he reacts.
You should get a pretty good idea of how he feels about the idea of looking at you romantically from his reaction. If you keep dropping hints this way, he might just get it one day and you will be able to come to the point once he starts reciprocating to the hints.
4. In love with your best friend? Just chill out!
Look, he’s not seen you in this light before. Even if he has he’s not sure how he’s feeling or what would happen. In this case, if you come on too strong- flirt too much, are too obvious, want things to get serious quickly, you’re going to ruin it.
This is a big jump for any friendship to go through. If he’s your best friend, however, the stakes are too high, and you don’t want to lose that friendship, so slam the brakes and take things really slow.
Do the things you always did together. Hanging out with the gang, going for weekend trips. Keep him comfortable. If you suddenly become coy you could put him off.
5. You can get help
Your best friend sure has more friends. These people are an untapped resource that you can use when trying to confess to him. If you are too scared to say it, just float the idea to one of his friends, a friend you know won’t be able to resist telling him about it.
Or get feedback about what he feels for you. That’s how June told her best friend. “Our common friend just told him, ‘Haven’t you noticed how possessive June is about you?’ That did it.”
You will have to be crafty here unless you both share a group of friends. There’s always a chance of one of these people telling your best friend about your feelings. So make sure you weigh your words and dig around for information. Yes, it might not be ethical to spy on your best friend this way, but you’re doing it to protect your friendship, so you get a free pass.
Whether or not your best friend reciprocates your feelings you owe it to the friendship to at least try and find out if there’s a possibility there. You might end up risking an important part of your life, but if it works out the rewards would be like nothing else.
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As beautiful it is to be together with your best friend, but after getting together, if you are not compatible with him/her, that’s where the real problem starts.