I want to divorce my alcoholic, womanizing husband

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I have been married for 6 months. I had a love marriage without my parents’ permission. As days passed I came to know that my husband is not the person whom I used to know. Actually, we had not met frequently because we were living in different cities. I fell in true love that’s why I trusted him and his words. But he was a liar. He told me that he was a teetotaller and abstained from smoking and alcohol. But he is a habitual drinker and smoker. He talks with many girls and he is very close to them. Also, he is a slight kleptomaniac. He pays for girls and spends time (for sexual relationships ) with them.

I tolerated all this. Meanwhile, my parents started talking to me and my husband. They kept inviting us at home. It was a big step for my parents since because of them accepting me and my marriage, many relatives stopped talking to them and meeting them. I didn’t tell them about my sufferings because they would get hurt and feel sad for me. I didn’t want to give them any tension. As time is passing, the situation is getting worse. Now I can’t tolerate anymore. I am dying at each moment.

Related Reading: What Is A Womanizer’s Weakness?

My husband doesn’t support me financially or emotionally. He criticises me before his mother and my parents to show himself as a good person. And he never accepts his misdeeds. He says that I don’t support him in starting a new business, in completing his education etc. But the reality is that now I am fed up of explaining to him how to get his life in order. Each time I speak with him he pretends before everyone as if I were wrong.

Now I really hate him and can’t live with him. I want to take divorce but I am unable to tell them about my decision. Because they have to suffer again. Already they have suffered because of me. I did everything to take my husband on the right path but he can never be improved. I don’t want to live with him and don’t want to expand my family with him because I really hate him. Anyway, we have not had sexual relations for 3 years. I have no future with him. What should I do?

Related Reading: 10 Must-Follow Healthy Relationship Boundaries

Jaseena Backer says:

Dear Lady,

You wrote in the beginning that you have been married for six months and towards the conclusion, you have written that you haven’t had sex for three years. I need clarity on this. However, I am assuming that you meant that you have been married for six years…

It is evident from your words in the email that you do not wish to live with him as you have tried several reconciliations. You have to talk to him about what you feel now and then take a decision. NO matter how he treated you, it is always better to have clarity on what you plan to do with the marriage.

The decision to marry him was yours. Maybe you didn’t see the hints that he gave you from the beginning as you were blinded by love. Most of the time people give us hints on their behaviours and expectations but during an engagement, people don’t get those hints because they think that marriage will change people. Now you have to take responsibility for your decision. Your parents will be hurt as you made the wrong choice to marry him and are now suffering because of that. You have to find a way that doesn’t make you suffer permanently. Your parents are going to be hurt, but tell your parents your plight. Together with work out a solution.

Related Reading: I’m Attracted To Other Women Even After Marriage

Get a job and don’t be dependent on either your husband or parents. Being independent will make you stronger. Then some clarity will come to you and it will be easier to make a decision.

Good luck.

Jaseena

FAQs

1. Is it possible to save my marriage if my husband is an alcoholic and womanizer?

While change is possible, it requires your husband to acknowledge his problems, seek professional help, and actively work towards recovery. It’s crucial to prioritize your own well-being and not remain in an unsafe or unhealthy situation.

2. How can I protect myself and my children during the divorce process?

Consult with a lawyer to understand your legal rights and options. Document any instances of abuse or neglect, and consider seeking a restraining order if necessary. Prioritize the safety and emotional well-being of your children.

3. What resources are available to support me through this difficult time?

There are numerous support groups, helplines, and therapists specializing in assisting individuals dealing with alcoholic or unfaithful partners. Reach out to these resources to gain emotional support, guidance, and practical advice.

Final Thoughts

Leaving an alcoholic, womanizing husband is a courageous step towards reclaiming your life and happiness. It’s a challenging journey, but you’re not alone. Surround yourself with supportive people, prioritize your well-being, and seek professional guidance to navigate the legal and emotional aspects of divorce.

If you’re considering leaving your husband or need support during this difficult time, reach out to a trusted friend, family member, or our compassionate therapists. We’re here to listen, offer guidance, and empower you to make the choices that are right for you.

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