If you are currently looking for a partner or have ever dated in your life, you know it can be a tricky terrain to navigate filled with questions like what to do on a first date, what not to do on a second date, and what are the third date rules? In dating first impressions and subtle gestures often speak louder than words. Good dating etiquette isn’t just about traditional manners; it’s about creating genuine connections, showing respect, and leaving each interaction feeling valued and respected. 

We’ve listed 25 dating rules, offering tips that will boost your confidence, keep you grounded, and help you avoid common pitfalls. Whether you’re just beginning to date or looking to refine your approach, these rules will set you up for success and ensure you always put your best self forward.

Dating Etiquette—25 Rules To Play By 

Dating etiquette comes into play whether you’ve already been on a date with them a few times before or are getting to meet your date for the first time after meeting online. Following the right dating manners and understanding the dating rules can help ensure that your experience is positive and leaves room for future connections. Let’s dive into 25 rules that can make dating more enjoyable and successful.

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1. Don’t be late

While applicable for all dates, this is especially one of the major rules for first date. Considering how many people don’t see punctuality as a virtue, this ranks right at the top of our list of dating etiquette. Showing up on time communicates that you value the other person’s time and effort. Whether it’s your first or third date, being late sets the wrong tone. Make sure you’re planning ahead to arrive on time, and if unforeseen circumstances arise, a quick text to let them know you’re running late is always appreciated.

2. Put effort into your appearance 

This is one of the basic dating tips for men as well as women. Whether it’s a fancy dinner date or you’re looking for casual first coffee date etiquette, how you present yourself sets the tone for the meet. Dressing appropriately shows respect for the occasion and the other person. 

Whether it’s casual or formal, choose an outfit that makes you feel confident and comfortable. Grooming, such as neat hair and clean attire, also demonstrates that you’ve put thought into your appearance, making the other person feel valued. It’s not about looking perfect but about showing that you care.

3. Bring them a gift

Not a ‘gift’ gift — just a small token like chocolates or flowers can make a great impression and show that you’ve made an extra effort. It’s a classic gesture of kindness and can help break the ice at the start of the date. Choose something appropriate to the person’s tastes if you know them or stick to traditional, universally appreciated options. This small token doesn’t have to be extravagant but shows that you’re considerate and thoughtful.

Related Reading: Gift Giving Love Language: What It Means And How To Show It

4. Avoid digging into the past too soon

This is one of the major rules for first dates. Bringing up past relationships too soon is not recommended. Especially when getting to know someone new, it’s best to focus on the present and future. If you feel like discussing previous relationships is unavoidable, leave it for much later in the conversation. This shows emotional maturity and creates a positive atmosphere on the date. Especially on the initial dates, don’t volunteer too much information, nor ask questions about past relationships unless offered. This probably tops the list of things you should not do on the first date.

5. Avoid using your phone

Keep your phone in your pocket, or your bag, and focus on the person without any distractions. You might be a busy person who receives a lot of phone calls and text messages. But one of the most important modern dating practices include reserving your time and attention for the other person exclusively. This demonstrates respect and is an essential part of dating etiquette. In case of an emergency, it is easier and more polite to excuse yourself with the other person’s permission and keep the call short and crisp.

Related Reading: 11 Signs Someone Is Hiding Something On Their Phone

6. Be yourself

You should be yourself at all times and in any kind of dating setup. But this is even more crucial if you first connected online. Given that people on dating apps often pretend to be what they’re not, this makes for crucial online dating etiquette. Avoid exaggerating details or pretending to be someone you’re not. Being transparent from the start can prevent future misunderstandings and lay the foundation for a stronger connection.

7. Avoid controlling the conversation

As the conversation begins to flow, it is important that you both hear each other out. This is a conversation, and this date is not just about you. To keep the flow going, you can talk about:

• Hobbies
• Passions
• Each other’s jobs
• Favorite books and movies

If the conversation starts feeling one-sided, ask questions to get to know them better and to include them in the conversation. Proper dating etiquette dictates making your date feel comfortable enough that they can talk without inhibitions too.

8. Stay clear of heavy topics too soon

Another one of important dating tips for men as well as women is to avoid heavy topics in the initial phase. Discussing long-term commitments such as marriage or children on early dates is premature. The initial focus should be on learning more about each other’s personalities, hobbies, and values. This aligns with common first date rules that help avoid unnecessary pressure. These conversations are appropriate only when you have a real thing going and can see your future with this person. Bringing them up too early on – especially on a first date – can be a total deal-breaker.

Natalie, a 29-year-old girl, shared her experience of a date. “I went on a coffee date with a guy and it went well. The guy was well-dressed and a gentleman all over. But I guess someone didn’t prep him on what not to do on a second date. While the first date was all about casual talks, he started talking about commitment and ‘our’ future on just the second date. It scared me off and I declined a third date.

Related Reading: 5 Reasons To Research Your Online Date Before You Meet

9. Pay attention to basic table manners

Your dating manners should extend to how you behave at the table. Simple habits like:

• Chewing with your mouth closed
• Placing your napkin on your lap
• Not talking with your mouth full 

go a long way in leaving a positive impression. Being polite and considerate during meals is part of dating etiquette. While bad social habits can make you undateable.

10. Ask questions to show interest

Dates are a chance to get to know the other person better. Whether you are meeting in person or looking for online dating etiquette, one of the dating rules to follow is actively engaging in conversation. So you should make it a point to ask appropriate questions to your date. This goes on to show that you’re interested in learning more about them. This can make you more at ease in each other’s company. Some examples include:

• “What’s your favorite book, and why?”
• “If you could travel anywhere, where would it be?”
• “What’s a hobby you enjoy the most?”

If you have found yourself struggling to come up with the right questions in the past, read up a little about appropriate conversation starters.

Related Reading: 50 Bumble Conversation Starters To Grab Your Match’s Attention

11. Avoid bragging

Another one of the unspoken dating rules is to not brag. You may have many accomplishments to boast of. Your job, swanky car, plush apartment, social status, educational background…the works. But no one likes a show-off. Modesty is key when it comes to making a right impression. Bragging can come across as arrogant and turn off your date. Focus on genuine conversation rather than trying to impress with material things.

12. Avoid drinking too much

Drinking too much on a date can lead to embarrassing situations and regrets. Keep your alcohol intake moderate and maintain control over your behavior. This shows responsibility and respect, and helps you make better decisions during the date.

Ethan, a 25-year-old guy, shared his experience with a girl. “I asked a girl out to a movie and we both enjoyed it. She then suggested that we should get some drinks. While I don’t like drinking on a first date, I agreed, thinking a couple drinks would be fine. I stopped at a few but she kept going until she was too tipsy to even walk. Obviously I couldn’t leave her like that and couldn’t take her home, it being a first date. Thankfully I knew one of her friends, whom I contacted and she agreed to take her home. It was an uncomfortable experience to say the least”

13. Always be open-minded

Dating often brings together people with different backgrounds and experiences. Being open-minded allows you to embrace those differences. If something about your date surprises you, try not to show shock or judgment, especially in online dating etiquette situations. Be open-minded and do not judge the person on superfluous counts- unless they are very important to you.

14. Take a stand when required

So being polite, exhibiting great manners, some chivalry and presenting the best version of yourself all qualify as first date etiquette. But if your date behaves rudely or makes you uncomfortable, don’t hesitate to address the issue. Maintaining your own boundaries is important. Politely, but firmly, express your discomfort. This not only protects your well-being but also sets the tone for mutual respect.

Following the right etiquette does not mean that you tolerate each and everything the other person does. In case you feel that the other person has crossed a line, you must be upfront about it. 

Related Reading: What To Order On A First Date? 10 Ideas You Must Check Out

15. Pay attention to your body language

Your date is telling you something that means a lot to them and they catch you checking other women in the restaurant. Or maybe your leg is pointing towards the door making your date feel that you want a quick exit. That wasn’t your intention, was it?

Non-verbal communication plays a significant role in dating. Keep an eye on both your own body language and that of your date. Positive body language can indicate signs a first date went well. These signs can look like:

• Leaning in
• Maintaining eye contact
• Smiling at your date
• Avoiding closed-off postures

16. Enjoy yourself

Anxiety and dating goes hand in hand, generally. Irrespective of whether the date is panning out as expected not, try to enjoy yourself. Remember that you have come out to have some fun. That will help take some edge off the situation. Encourage your date to have a good time too so that you both do not regret your decision of planning this date.

Related Reading: 10 Worst Tinder Pickup Lines That Could Make You Cringe

17. Do not lead your date on necessarily

This is undoubtedly the most valuable pearl of wisdom for dating etiquette. Unless you honestly feel that things will work out between you two, you must not lead your date on. Always be clear about what you want from the first date and do not give false hope to the other person. This is how to date someone respectfully. Clarity prevents confusion and allows both of you to move forward more smoothly.

And for the person at the receiving end, do not take this as a failure. The person you have just dated has his or her own baggage, and it is not a rejection of you if this date does not lead to the next.

18. Always be ready to foot the bill

Who should pay on a date? Traditionally, it has been a part of dating etiquette for guys to foot the bill, perceived as a sign of being a gentleman. However, in today’s modern dating world, it has become a dating etiquette for ladies as well to offer to pay. Whether you’re a man or woman, the expectation is no longer one-sided. Offering to split the bill or “go Dutch” is a polite gesture and shows equality.

Related Reading: Waiters Share Five Of The Worst First Date Stories They’ve Seen

19. Show respect to people around you as well

Whether you are meeting for a coffee date, or a drink and dinner, the rules of dating remain the same. There is basic courtesy you show the other person, whether talking about casual dating etiquette or a formal arranged set-up.

Whether it is the waiter at the restaurant or the valet, dating manners dictate to treat everyone with respect and dignity. Being rude to the people around you and swearing at them shows the shallowness of character. No one digs that.

20. Respect boundaries 

Whether physical, emotional, or conversational, respecting dating boundaries is crucial. If your date isn’t comfortable with certain topics or actions, respect their limits. If you’re wondering, “is it ok to kiss on the first date?” The answer is yes only if your date seems comfortable with it. Look at their body language or if unsure, simply ask them what they are comfortable with. This shows maturity and empathy, helping build trust.

21. Make your intentions clear

From the beginning, it’s important to be upfront about what you’re looking for in the relationship. Whether you’re seeking a casual date or a more serious connection, clear communication prevents misunderstandings. It also shows maturity and respect for the other person’s time and emotions. Expressing your intentions helps both of you navigate the relationship with aligned expectations, ensuring that neither party feels misled or confused.

22. Do what feels right

What is the first date etiquette when meeting or saying goodbye? Will you share your phone number? Is it ok to kiss on the first date? How long after first date to ask for second? On which date is it okay to get physically intimate? 

While there are some general rules of dating, at the end of it all, it is only you who knows how your date is progressing. Only you can make the call on what is right for a particular moment. If your date is seemingly interested in you or you’ve noticed signs a first date went well, you may consider making the next move. 

Depending on where you are in the dating stage, it could mean having your first kiss, going to their or your place, or suggesting sex. Likewise, if you’re not interested, you can express it kindly but clearly. Knowing how to date someone includes being respectful of their feelings.

23. Suggest meeting again

If you’ve had multiple dates already and your vibe seems to match with them, there is no harm in suggesting meeting again, perhaps in a more personal setting. Now, this may not be as easy to determine on a first date. If the connection feels strong, don’t hesitate to suggest a second date. Don’t hold yourself back wondering how long after first date to ask for second. Be direct about your interest, which not only clears up uncertainty but also encourages the other person to do the same. 

24. Always follow up after the date

Follow up with your date either through a call or a text message. While applicable to all dates, this is especially good first date etiquette that will let them know that you weren’t just whiling away your time with them. A polite follow-up text or call shows that you appreciated your time together. It will also give you a chance to assess where things stand between the two of you. Even if things do not work, following up shows that you are a good person and have no intention of hurting anyone.

25. Don’t ghost if you’re not interested 

Whether things didn’t go as planned, something happened at the date that turned you off, or you simply didn’t feel a connection with your date, it’s better to gently express disinterest rather than disappearing. Ghosting can leave the other person confused and hurt. Instead, be honest and clear, following the rules of dating respectfully.

Final Thoughts

Successful dating is about being respectful, honest, and authentic. By following these 25 rules, you’ll enhance your dating experience and increase the chances of building a meaningful connection. Whether you’re navigating first date rules or considering third date rules, remember to stay present, have fun, and always respect the other person’s boundaries.

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