You’ve broken up. Now what?
Table of Contents
Affair withdrawal is a painful experience. Very often you’ll feel hurt, anxious and then depressed. Some people experience these symptoms of affair withdrawal for as long as six months after ending it. In an affair, not just you but also your partner with whom you share a loving and caring relationship is hugely affected if you do not deal with your symptoms well. To keep the toxicity of an ended affair out of your relationship with your partner, it’s necessary that you completely distance yourself from your ex-lover and follow the idiom, “out of sight, out of mind”.
An affair withdrawal in many cases may be like a drug withdrawal. You’ll feel uneasy, anxious and may often be tempted to get in touch with your lover and start the affair yet again. All the effort that you would have put will go in vain if you restart and you are certainly inviting more trouble in your life in the long run.
Resist the temptation to call
Completely disconnect yourself from your ex-lover. Do not keep any contact of any kind. Social media, phone, WhatsApp, Instagram, Snapchat, whatever sort of communication tool, completely cut it out of your life. If required, change your number or create a new social media account with a new friends’ list. Do not go to places where you are sure to bump into him/her, such as their office, gym or the neighbourhood where they live.
Focus on yourself
While you are in affair withdrawal, you’re allowed to pamper yourself to ease the pain, anger and depression you are going through. Take a spa session or do a makeover. Even better, take a vacation for a few days with an old friend or your partner with whom you are in a relationship. Do things which you’ve wanted to do and just shift your focus completely.
Think of the reward: your relationship
Remember that the rough phase that you are going through will pass and you will see light at the end of this dark tunnel. Every time you are feeling terrible or bad, think of the reward, which is a strengthened relationship with your actual partner and the fact that you would have evolved as a human being. Do not let any hardship make you weak, as all your effort is not to make it worse but to put an end to this feeling of sorrow and anger.
Don’t expect things to change immediately
When you are talking to your spouse about your extramarital affair, do not expect them to understand you. They are going to yell, shout and say all terrible things and make you feel disgusted. Moreover, they may even make you feel emotionally disconnected with them. All this takes time to heal. You should allow the anger to pass and allow your spouse the time to forget about it and forgive you. Try to reinvest the time you were spending outside in your relationship.
Remember that ‘this too shall pass’
The pain of withdrawal is temporary and it will pass. If you can keep yourself busy with positive thoughts and actions, the recovery will be faster and easier. In many cases you may feel like it is a fight that you need to have every single day with yourself but remember that it is short term.
Affairs are toxic and therefore withdrawal is not easy. You need to have a strong mind and should be surrounded by good friends. For a very brief period of time you may feel all alone, but if you surround yourself with your best friends who can understand what you are going through and will not judge you, then they’ll also ensure that you are able to overcome this challenge.
My girlfriend of seven years is marrying someone else and I’m feeling used and discarded
Your contribution does not constitute a charitable donation. It will allow Bonobology to continue bringing you new and up-to-date information in our pursuit of helping anyone in the world to learn how to do anything.
Ask Our Expert
You must be Logged in to ask a question.
Featured
Will She Come Back? 15 Signs You’ll Get Back Together
How To Emotionally Let Go Of Someone You Love: A Therapist Advises
Ghosted After First Date? Why It Happens And How To Deal
Dumpers Remorse: Meaning, Signs, and Stages
How To Break Up With Someone Without Hurting Them: 10 Rules
How To Stop Thinking About Your Ex? 11 Expert-Backed Tips
The Right Way To Use Power Of Silence After A Breakup
Why Do Breakups Hit Guys Later? 7 Intriguing Reasons
Ex In Your Dreams? Find Out What Does It Mean When You Dream About Your Ex
I Hate My Ex: 13 Reasons It’s Okay And Tips To Move Forward
How To Make Your Ex Regret Leaving You – 11 Tried And Tested Tips
21 Dos And Don’ts Of Breaking Up With Your Girlfriend
How To Stop Thinking About Your Ex? 13 Ways That Work
How To Get Your Ex Back When He Has Moved On? 15 Tips
How To Lose Feelings For Someone You Love And Let Go
Do Rebound Relationships Ever Work?
Will He Come Back? 15 Signs That Indicate He Will And What To Do
15 Sure-Shot Signs He Is Heartbroken Over You
13 Ways To Get Back With Your Ex
How To End A Relationship On Good Terms