Can you fall in love with someone online? As you navigate online dating, this question is bound to cross your mind at some point. You swipe right, and the talking stage fills you with a renewed sense of anticipation, longing, and excitement. You feel like you’re catching feelings. There is a catch though—you’ve never met the person you’re falling for.

Is it possible to fall in love with someone you never met? Well, developing feelings for someone you’ve never met and have only known virtually is par for the course in modern dating. A concept that most single people out there consider perfectly normal. In fact, according to a survey, 54% of Americans consider online relationships to be just as successful as the ones that take root in real life.

The question is: is what you’re feeling really love or mere attraction/infatuation that may or may not pave the way for enduring love? Is feeling connected to someone you never met the same as being in love with them? The jury is out on this one. While there are so many stories of people having found ‘the one’ online, there are also people who believe that a purely online relationship may have a potential for real love but that love cannot take form unless two people are physically together.  

Can You Fall In Love With Someone Online?

The answer to the question can vary immensely depending on who you’re asking. Take the example of Susan, a second-grade teacher from Keansburg, who was extremely skeptical of online dating. Then, she connected with Mike on an online community forum for poetry enthusiasts. They bonded over their mutual interest, and their emotional connection grew deeper with time. There were days that Susan and Mike practically spent on FaceTime, sharing every bit of their lives. 

Soon, they decided to meet. However, the trip to San Francisco to spend a weekend with Mike entirely changed the trajectory of their so-far-so-great online relationship. Susan realized that Mike was extremely sloppy—wearing the same clothes for three days, stuffing the old milk cartons into the refrigerator, expecting her to keep her luggage “wherever”. Everything about his lifestyle was a huge turn-off for her. Quite naturally, to Mike, she came across as too bossy, too nitpicky. By the end of the trip, their relationship was all but over.  

However, that’s not how online relationships always pan out. My best friend, for instance, met her husband on the dating app, Aisle. She lived in the US at the time whereas he was in Germany. When she told me she was going to travel to Germany to meet him, I was skeptical, worried for her even. How do people fall in love without ever having met one another, I wondered. But the trip was a great success. They were married in the next 6 months, and have been going strong for over five years now.

So, can you fall in love with someone online? Based on my bestie’s story, I’d say yes. Besides, there is enough research-based evidence to suggest that feeling connected to someone you never met is entirely plausible. According to a study, “the ability to find people who like the same stuff that you do” is what makes online relationships tick.

Related Reading: Addicted To Dating Apps: Why Can’t We Stop Swiping?

The Reddit thread, Is it Possible to Fall In Love with Someone Online?, is a gold mine of success stories. One user says, “My SO and I took a leap of faith with each other. We met over a video game and it was sort of taboo because we both just got out of a relationship so we tried not to think anything of it seriously until we just got fed up and really wanted to be with each other.”

Another user who married the person they fell in love with online says,

Feeling connected to someone you never met: What to expect 

As you can see, the idea of falling in love online without meeting someone is neither far-fetched nor unrealistic in the times we live in. According to a study, 34% of Americans in committed relationships claim to have met their partner/spouse online. Physical proximity may not top the list of reasons to fall in love with someone for everyone. Besides, the possibility of connecting with people online, be it through dating apps, social media, or even forums and multiplayer games, really does widen the pool and increases your odds of finding someone you just click with.

As you get to know each other and discover the things you have in common, you may end up feeling connected to someone you never met. However, it’s best to keep your expectations realistic and chalk up the synchronicity you experience to a deep soul connection. Whether you’re wondering, “Can you fall in love with someone online?”, or are convinced that you’ve fallen in love and met your soulmate in cyberspace, it’s prudent to be mindful of the following ground realities:

• While you mustn’t shame yourself for the way you feel, it’s crucial to remember that you haven’t met the real person yet
• It’s easy to put your best foot forward when you’re interacting virtually, being with each other is a whole different ball game
• You may nothing about their quirks, flaws, idiosyncrasies
• The physical and personality traits the person projects or you associate with them could be far removed from reality
• You may idolize them to an extent that you may overlook certain red flags that are staring you in the face
• If you are falling in love with someone online from another country, continent, or state, you need to introspect about whether you can sustain long-distance love until you figure out a plan to be physically together

Undeniable Realities Of Falling In Love Online

As you can tell by now, there is no simple yes or no answer to the question, can you fall in love with someone online? You can develop romantic feelings and begin dating someone online. But those feelings may or may not translate into enduring love that can stand the test of time. It’s best to tread cautiously and not lose sight of the reality that you don’t quite know the real person behind that screen.

This can go a long way in weeding out disappointment and dashed hopes when you do, in fact, meet the person you’ve fallen for and realize that they fall short of the idealized version of them you had built up in your head. This pragmatism can mean the difference between fireworks and heartbreak. If you’re falling in love online, these are the realities you must brace yourself for:

Related Reading: Are You Falling In Love Too Fast? 8 Reasons You Should Slow Down

1. In an online relationship, you’re on the verge of falling in love

Can you fall in love with someone online? Perhaps, the best way to answer this question is that you might find yourself on the verge of falling in love. And with a little luck in your favor, this could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship. That being said, if you dream of a perfect whirlwind romance without any flaws, relationship challenges, and conflicts, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment.

These are part of the course for any relationship. What matters is how you and your partner navigate these stumbling blocks. Can you communicate healthily, are emotionally available for each other, and can count on them to stand by your side no matter what? If so, your reasons to fall in love with someone are solid.

Related Reading: 13 Major Disadvantages Of Online Dating

2. Distance can put a dampener on a budding romance

Is it possible to fall in love with someone you never met? Yes, surely. The question is, is such a connection strong enough to sustain long-distance love? This is a particularly valid concern when falling in love with someone online from another country or another state. Unless you have a clear plan to bridge this gap or an end date in sight, navigating a long-distance relationship with someone you don’t quite know in the real world can be daunting. Then there are apprehensions associated with uprooting your entire life for someone you’ve only known virtually. All of this can put a dampener on a budding romance.

Take the example of Ana, a true blue Texas girl, who matched with a New York guy on a dating app. What started as a purely casual online fling eventually shaped into a genuine connection of two hearts. While they couldn’t deny the intense feelings, going back and forth 1700 miles to keep the romance alive wasn’t easy. Practical constraints of life got in the way and they both decided it was best to take a step back, and once again, love met a tragic end. 

3. A wider net means a higher probability of meeting someone like-minded

How do people fall in love with each other online? If you’ve ever wondered that, know that when you meet someone who seems to be cut from the same cloth as you, you can feel an instant connection even with a stranger. With time and sustained effort, this can give way to romantic feelings. This is especially true for introverted, socially awkward people, or those struggling with anxiety and insecurities.

If you play your cards right on a dating app, you may bump into another introverted, indoorsy person who enjoys books and coffee just as much as you do. There are plenty of fish in this vast virtual dating sea. Your soulmate is probably out there, chatting with someone else right now. All you have to do is to be patient. When the day comes and you both finally swipe right, love will come knocking at your door. 

4. You expose yourself to the dangers of online dating

Phishing, catfishing, romance scamming, fake profiles, and sextortion are just some of the many dangers associated with online dating. From the 2010 documentary Catfish to the Netflix docudrama, The Tinder Swindler, real-life accounts of people being siphoned off their life’s earnings in the name of love, these risks are now well-documented.

It’d be naive to think that something of this sort cannot or won’t happen to you. That’s why it’s prudent to not get too emotionally invested in someone you’ve met online without spending some time with them in the real world. When forming connections online, be mindful of glaring red flags like:

• Vague details or responses
• Scant online presence
• An attempt to dodge video calls or put off real-life meetings
• Insistence on sexting or sharing nudes
• Request for money or monetary favors

Also, it doesn’t take a catfish or a romance scammer to break your heart. Someone lying about their looks, profession, relationship status, or hiding unpleasant details about their life such as a messy divorce or a drug habit can be just as hurtful. And according to statistics, 53% of people tend to lie on their online dating profiles. So, err on the side of caution because can never tell for sure whether you are smitten by the blue-eyed young fellow or a drug peddler in disguise. 

Related Reading: 12 Clear Signs You Are Infatuated And Not In Love

4. Virtual chemistry does not guarantee a real-life connection

As long as you are in the virtual world, chatting and enjoying FaceTime dates, the relationship can feel like all roses and rainbows. You picture wild lovemaking sessions with your online partner and not once do they disappoint you. You talk late into the night and feel like you’ll never run out of things to say to each other.

But all of this magic may not translate into real-life chemistry. Seeing them physically, sitting in front of you can make all the difference. What if you don’t feel attracted to them? What if that kiss with too much tongue doesn’t do anything for you? We are not saying it’s the fate of every online relationship but it’s a possibility for sure. 

5. It may all work out

Let’s say the first date after meeting online goes great and your partner falls even harder after seeing you in person and sweeps you off your feet with their grand, romantic gestures. In that case, the connection definitely holds promise. Online relationships have been the stepping stone to long-term togetherness for so many couples around the world, and you could be one of them. You asked, “Can you fall in love with someone online?” We’ve got good news for you. You can, by all means, build an honest, loving bond with someone you have never actually met.

Isn’t falling in love the most beautiful feeling in the world? And we know you deserve every bit of it. When it comes to falling in love online without meeting your potential partner, we can safely say that it’s a possibility. If you are completely convinced that this is the real deal and you have found your soulmate, you should trust your feelings and give that relationship a fair chance. 

Although, it’s our responsibility to give you a reality check along with the romantic side of it. Your love story may alter in a jiffy if the person hiding behind the green dot turns out to be a romance scammer. We just hope you will be careful enough to not open up about your intense, innermost emotions and give in to a cyber scam. 

How The Future Of Relationships And Dating Is Expected To Change In The Next 10 Years

23 FaceTime Date Ideas To Strengthen Your Bond

15 Best Apps To Flirt, Chat Online, Or Talk With Strangers

Your contribution does not constitute a charitable donation. It will allow Bonobology to continue bringing you new and up-to-date information in our pursuit of helping anyone in the world to learn how to do anything.

See Our Editorial Process

Meet Our Review Board

Share Feedback

What is your feedback?

×

Helpful Report an Error Other

Submit