20 Cheating Spouse Text Messages Codes

A complete guide to decoding cryptic messages cheaters rely on

Extramarital Affairs | | , Copywriter & Writer
Updated On: September 24, 2024
cheating spouse text message codes
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Infidelity is usually discovered at a later stage because of one simple reason—cheaters are adept at covering their tracks. Lipstick marks and stray hair on shirts are Hollywood occurrences only. In real life, a person invests a lot of time and energy in figuring out how to cheat without getting caught before they go down the road of infidelity. So, if you suspect your partner of being unfaithful, you need more creative solutions to uncover their transgressions. In this digitally driven world, being aware of and keeping an eye out for cheating spouse text messages codes to confirm the hunch you have can be one such solution.

Before you take this route in your pursuit of how to catch a cheating spouse, allow us to state on the record that going through your better half’s phone is ill-advised. It is a breach of their privacy and can trigger a whole host of relationship issues. Direct and honest communication is always a better alternative. But then, cheaters rarely come out and own up to their actions unless they’re presented with irrefutable evidence.

So, if you find yourself in a ‘desperate times call for desperate measure’ kind of situation—when things are looking bleak and you just can’t shake off the feeling that there’s someone else in your marriage—an examination of your spouse’s texts may help confirm or refute your suspicions. If that’s where you’re at, it may help your cause to be on the lookout for these cheating text messages.

How Do Cheaters Communicate?

Nine times out of ten, cheaters rely on covert mediums of communication. After all, that’s the simplest solution to their dilemma of how to cheat and not get caught. This can mean using cryptic cheating messages, talking in code, or using apps like Viber, Signal, or Snapchat for cheating. There is no incriminating trail of texts that can get them in trouble. Besides, one-time photos also enable them to sext without worrying.

However, downloading an app just to communicate with an affair partner or to connect with people to hook up with can raise suspicion. That’s why many cheating husbands and wives stick to mainstream apps like WhatsApp. This app doesn’t raise any suspicions and with cheating spouse text messages codes at their disposal, a person can get away with the most damning conversations without getting caught. The app now has a Disappearing Messages feature as well, which makes wiping all evidence of infidelity that much easier.

Related Reading: Best Dating Sites For Married People – Cheating & Affair Apps

If you’re not prepared to go down the road of full-blown snooping, trying to catch a cheating spouse through their text messages can be a good starting point because most illicit affairs have a digital component these days. Given how easy instant text messaging has made it to stay in touch with and communicate with an affair partner without stirring up any suspicion, it’s quite likely that a cheating spouse relies on it. Oh, and be prepared to be surprised at how sexually explicit these conversations can be.

Your spouse could be sitting across from you or lying in bed next to you and sexting with someone else using just acronyms and symbols. Gone are the days of people texting elaborate paragraphs to their (second) beau. Cheating texts are more likely to be monosyllabic and short. A sample text would read like this: “DTF now”.

Wait a second, did I just lose you at DTF and the possibility of your husband/wife using more such code words for cheating? But if you read on, it will open your eyes to all the sneaky ways cheaters exploit to outwit their spouses. We’ve compiled a list of the cheating spouse text messages codes in circulation right now. Once you garner a working understanding of these cheating text messages, your spouse will not be able to play you for a fool. Let’s update our lingo and answer an important question—how do cheaters communicate via text?

Is My Partner Cheating On Me?

20 Cheating Spouse Text Messages Codes

Online affairs are becoming increasingly common. Countless people meet hookup buddies on the internet and carry things forward in the real world. But do you know what this means? With this prevalence of infidelity, it has become equally easy to spot the signs of an extramarital affair through cheating spouse text messages codes.

This list contains the top 20 cheating text messages that are much in vogue. Going through these can be an emotionally challenging exercise because these texting cheat codes can transform your worst nightmares into reality. However, it’s better to face the reality of your situation than sweep your unshakeable suspicions under the rug and live in misery. Calm your nerves and invoke your inner detective. You can do this—your fears will be put to rest or your suspicions confirmed. We are with you every step of the way. Here’s presenting the cheating spouse text messages codes from the handbook of a disloyal spouse. 

Related Reading: When To Walk Away After Infidelity: 10 Signs To Know

1. DTF—Down to f*ck

Of all the cheating text messages, this is the most common. DTF or down To f*ck is a staple of a cheating spouse. It’s a self-explanatory term that gives a short message—I’m available for a sexual relationship. Nine times out of ten, DTF is used about one-night stands or a no-strings-attached relationship. If you’ve spotted the insidious DTF in your partner’s inbox, they’re almost definitely cheating on you.

DTF is one of those cheating spouse text messages codes that indicate availability. Be sure to read the texts above and below for a clearer picture. Setting the time and location usually follows a DTF message. PS: DTF can also be a question for the person on the other end. Are they available to hook up? Is this a good time to sext? But here too, the implication is clear—your spouse is willing to meet them.

cheating texts
Is your spouse cheating on you over the phone?

2. WYD—What you doing?

When you’re on a mission to figure out how to catch a cheating spouse and scouring their phone for clues or evidence, something as innocuous as WYD (what you doing?) hardly raises any red flags. In fact, this is a common texting acronym used to initiate casual conversations. However, it does have a flirty undertone to it. If sent frequently to someone other than you and too frequently, it could signal an ongoing personal connection.

3. 121—Private/personal conversation

Speaking of short code texting for cheating, this is as stealthy as it gets. 121 could mean anything, right? It’s so ordinary that you may not even give it another thought even if you happen to chance upon this text sent from or received on your partner’s device. That’s exactly what makes it perfect for someone who’s trying to master the how to cheat and not get caught game. This cheating text code is used to signify that the conversation should be private. A partner sending this could be signaling that they want to keep things hidden.

Related Reading: When Is Texting Cheating? 11 Different Scenarios And How To Deal

4. IRL—In real life

When an online conversation escalates, the cheater will want to continue things IRL (in real life). This transition from reel to real spells trouble for your relationship. IRL is a unique code that can be used in two contexts. Firstly, for casual dating or flings. And secondly, for a full-fledged liaison that has more to it than just sex. When a person wants to move things offline, it’s usually an indicator of a discreet affair.

A common variant of it is LMIRL—let’s meet in real life. It also suggests a desire to meet outside of the digital space. If your spouse is using this with someone you don’t know, it could indicate inappropriate intent. But be warned that IRL has non-cheating connotations too. Don’t pounce on your spouse with allegations just because you saw them text IRL. My friend Lisa’s husband was once talking to a friend about some fantasy video game and he used this term in the chat. Lisa took it to be a short code texting for cheating and said unspeakable things out of fury.

Soon enough, she realized she had messed up. Over time, they managed to get past this incident. But the fact that Lisa had such little trust in her husband shook the rock-solid foundation of their marriage. So, please don’t make the same mistake and get a gist of the preceding texts before jumping to conclusions. We know that cheating spouse text message codes generate a lot of anxiety but there’s no way to take back the harsh words once they are out there.

5. W8 4 ME—Wait for me

How do cheaters communicate? In codes that meaning of which often hides in plain sight. W8 4 ME is a classic example of that. When read out loud, you can easily make out what this weird-looking short code says but the connotation may not be clear at first glance. This could indicate a secret plan to meet. For example, “W8 4 ME. Same place” implies a hidden rendezvous in the works. Or it could be used to plan a steamy virtual sex session with one’s paramour. Example,”W8 4 ME *devil-faced emjoi*”

short code texting for cheating
Cryptic cheating messages can be hard to decipher

6. HMU—Hit me up

This is another commonly used texting acronym used to ask someone to text or call. That’s what makes it one of the preferred cheating messages to initiate hidden conversations with a flame. Excessive use of this with unknown contacts can be a red flag you need to watch out for, especially if you’re actively looking to figure out how to catch someone cheating.

7. How do cheaters communicate? Age/Location/Sex

To catch a cheating spouse with text messages, see if they use the A/L/S code, especially on social media platforms or public chat forums. This has been around since the days of MySpace and is often used to gather some quick info when connecting with someone new. A variation of A/L/S is A/L/S/P. The P stands for picture and the two individuals send a snapshot of themselves. Determining sexual compatibility in the virtual world is made slightly easier through such communication formats.

As you can see, the A/L/S code is super shady and one of the undeniable cheating texts. There can’t be a plausible explanation for it other than your partner exploring the possibility of scoring on the side. It’s definitely one of the go-to solutions for every cheater’s dilemma—how to cheat without getting caught. After all, if this is not an example of cheating text messages, why would you need to know someone’s age, sex, or picture randomly?

Related Reading: 15 Warning Traits Of A Serial Cheater – Don’t Be His Next Victim

8. NSFS or NSFP— Not suitable for spouse/partner

Sexting, sending nudes, and cybersex are all successors to cheating spouse text messages codes like NSFS. We know what you’re thinking, how do cheaters communicate through it and what does it mean? NSFS/P stands for Not suitable for spouse/partner. If there’s a saucy text incoming, this code acts as a disclaimer. After reading this text, your spouse will make sure that they don’t open any pictures or chat around you. 

You see, your spouse knows that this is how most affairs are discovered. They don’t want you stumbling upon the nudes of a stranger. Hence, NSFS acts as a preventative measure. If you happen to come across this code, it is a dead giveaway of a cheating spouse. At this point, you can stop wondering how to catch a cheating spouse. This is the ultimate evidence they’re sexually involved with another person, be it virtual or IRL. There is no way they would be able to explain it away as something innocent. 

9. GNOC—Get naked on camera

This is yet another damning short code texting for cheating that cannot be explained in any other way except your partner engaging in virtual sex with another person. This sexually explicit code is used to request intimate photos or video chats. If your spouse is sending this, they’re definitely sexually involved with someone else. Whether their actions are limited to cheating online or extend to real life is another matter. It’s infidelity nonetheless.

Related Reading: 11 Things Considered To Be Cheating In A Relationship

10. 99—Partner/GF/wife is gone

Codes used as cheating texts don’t get any more sneaky than this. A mere number is used to signal that the coast is clear for inappropriate conversation. The only scenario where your spouse may send this text is to indicate that you’re not around and they’re available to indulge with their affair partner in some naughty business, to their hearts’ content. The key to how to cheat without getting caught lies in playing it smart and controlling one’s desires and urges till an opportune moment presents itself. If your partner has been using this text code, they’ve certainly got that part down.

11. Staycation 

When used to interact with someone other than you, this single-word text reeks of infidelity. In this context, a staycation means a getaway (from the relationship) with the cheating partner. Maybe your spouse told you that they’re going away for business. Or maybe they claimed they were visiting family. But you chanced upon a chat where they used the term ‘staycation’. Now your antenna is receiving signals…of infidelity. 

A staycation is a betrayal on many levels. There’s the physical aspect, of course, but taking a trip or staying over at someone’s place also suggests emotional involvement. There’s probably some financial infidelity too. It’s quite unfortunate that you have to find this out through such cheating spouse text message codes. 

on cheating

12. FWB—Friends with benefits

Friends with benefits is a strictly casual sexual relationship. If you see this term occur in your spouse’s text interactions with a suspicious contact, it could suggest that they’re in a purely sexual relationship with someone other than you. Now, this term can be used to remind the other person of the FWB rules if your spouse feels they are starting to get emotionally invested. For example, “That’s not what we agreed on. Remember, it’s strictly FWB.” Or it could be used playfully to initiate a hookup. For example, “Hey FWB, DTF. Tuesday?”

13. ILYSM—I love you so much

Of all the cheating messages you can expect to find on a disloyal partner’s phone, this one is hands down the hardest to deal with. Your spouse saying, “I love you so much”, to someone other than you is bound to land like a gut punch. It is also an indicator that their relationship with their affair partner runs a lot deeper than the pursuit of carnal pleasures. It is irrefutable evidence of an affair turning into love or stemming from love and can pose a real threat to your marital bond.

Related Reading: 18 Definite Signs He Loves The Other Woman

14. The first coming  

Try as we might, we can’t shield you from the grossness of such cheating texts. The first coming refers to the first orgasm experienced by one of the parties in the affair. Ugh, yes. UGH. This code is a sure-shot sign of a purely sexual affair. Chances are, you’ll come across this code in a conversation that appears innocent at first glance. But you will swiftly realize that it carries strong sexual undertones. It’s awful that people catch a cheating wife or husband with text messages like these.

15. NP4NP—Naked pic for naked pic

As must be evident by now, cheating spouse text messages codes often carry sexual undertones and NP4NP is just another example of it. It’s a code for receiving and sending nudes, and it can only mean one thing—your spouse is engaging in sexting with someone other than you.

16. GNO—Girls’ night out

If you’re looking for cheating wife texts, don’t just scan for terms with explicit sexual or romantic connotations. Something as seemingly innocent as GNO (or girls’ night out) could be a short code texting for cheating. Your wife could be using a GNO as a cover for secret plans with someone outside the relationship. If GNO usually pops up in your spouse’s text conversations but the details are vague at best, it could be a sign of something suspicious brewing.

Related Reading: 11 Smart Ways To Catch A Cheating Wife

17. Time and location—Cheating spouse text message codes

Up next, we have something that doesn’t strictly fall under the category of phrases cheaters use but can be used to plan clandestine meetings. Look at this sample text: “9:00 a.m./301, Bayview”. This can be the time and location for a meetup plan between your spouse and their beau (which, sadly, is not you). Without getting into anything sappy (or dirty), they’re coming straight to the point and deciding things for when they meet IRL.

Now such cheating texts are quite easy to pass off as something trivial. Your spouse might say it’s a meeting and you wouldn’t be able to challenge their assertion. After all, it’s just a time and location, right? Pay attention to the context and you will know if you have something to worry about. Unusual contact names, no chat history, and deleted texts are some strong indicators that there’s something fishy going on.

cheating text messages
Your partner could be engaging in cheating right next to you

18. FYEO—For your eyes only

Typically, this means that the message or photo should remain private and not be shared with others. This is a common dating abbreviation used for texting. If your spouse is using it with someone else, it can mean only one thing: secretive or intimate content being shared. That is a tell-tale sign of infidelity.

19. S2R—Send to receive

Oh, the creativity of cheating messages and the sheer variety of sexting codes available to cheaters! Mind-boggling, indeed. One such is S2R, or send to receive, which implies a trade of intimate pictures. As S2R text should definitely put you on alert. But the best approach on how to catch someone cheating is to be nonchalant. Let your spouse send to receive, peep onto their screen at the most opportune time, and you might just catch them red-handed.

20. ZON—Spouse is on to me

Being cautious at all times is the key to how to cheat and not get caught. And there are plenty of cheating texts and codes that help cheaters stay vigilant at all times. One such is ZON, which indicates that a spouse may be getting suspicious, alerting the other person to be cautious in their communication. If your spouse feels that you have been snooping around and checking their phone, they might just send the ZON red alert to the other person and keep things on the QT until the danger passes.

Spotting these cheating text messages on your partner’s phone can be devastating and it can leave you at a loss for direction. So, what can you do in such a situation? When you are faced with these incriminating messages, what should be your plan of action? Here are a few quick tips…

Related Reading: 10 Best Apps To Catch A Cheater – Free And Paid

Quick Tips: What To Do When You Catch A Cheating Spouse With Text Messages

The hunt for cheating clues begins with a lot of drive but people are left speechless when they discover the hard proof. We understand it is next to impossible to come out unscathed as a couple after you catch a cheating husband on WhatsApp or intercept cheating wife texts. So, what can be done when you come across cheating spouse text messages codes? Here are a few quick tips to help you combat the situation:

  • Think rationally: It’s easy to think of the most scandalous scenario in your head. Hold your creative horses and look at things for what they are. Do you have enough proof to suspect your spouse of cheating? If not, don’t make drastic choices. Look for the other signs of cheating along with the cheating text messages you just unveiled before you act on your thoughts
  • Communicate: This is the soundest course to pursue. Honest and open communication can be highly beneficial to your case. You might find out that there’s more to the affair than meets the eye. Maybe there is no affair at all and you’ve misread the situation. Or maybe your spouse has a different perspective to offer. We strongly recommend a straightforward approach in cases of infidelity in the marriage
  • Seek professional help: If your spouse admits to the affair, rebuilding trust will be extremely challenging. It is wise to opt for couples therapy and resolve the problem under a mental health expert’s guidance. At Bonobology, we offer professional help through our panel of licensed counselors and therapists. Many marriages have emerged stronger in the aftermath of an affair by reaching out and seeking aid. You can count on us
  • Make a decision: Infidelity shakes the foundation of a relationship and makes one see things in a different light. If separation is on your mind, weigh the pros and cons objectively. Think if your spouse deserves a second chance. Are they willing to put in the work for the relationship after cheating? Or will divorce be better in the long run? Make a decision about the relationship’s future

Key Pointers

  • Cheating text messages offer a convenient way for a person to carry on with their transgressions, even in their partner’s presence, and minimize the risk of being found out
  • DTF, LMIRL, GNOC, FYEO, and ZON are some common cheating spouse text messages codes used to communicate with one’s affair partner
  • A lot of these codes are sexual in nature and are meant to facilitate virtual escapades but a few, like ILYSM and IRL, can indicate a deeper, more emotional connection
  • It can be devastating to spot these cheating text codes on your spouse’s phone. If you do, take the time to gather yourself and process your emotions before reacting or making a decision

Final Thoughts

With that, we’ve come to the end of this crash course on short code texting for cheating. If anything, this list makes it abundantly clear that people invest a lot of time and energy in perfecting how to cheat without getting caught. We hope you never come across these phrases cheaters use on your spouse’s phone. But if you’re ever caught in a web of deception, these insights into cheating spouse text message codes will help you analyze your situation more astutely.

How To Regain Trust After Cheating: 12 Ways According To An Expert

9 Ways To Fix A Relationship After Trust Is Broken

How To Make The Other Woman Go Away – 9 Tried And Tested Tips

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Readers Comments On “20 Cheating Spouse Text Messages Codes”

  1. The article suggests that the use of coded language in text messages is a red flag for infidelity, and provides examples of common codes and phrases that cheaters may use to hide their behavior.

    While it is important to acknowledge that infidelity can be a painful and damaging experience, it’s also important to recognize that not all instances of coded language in text messages are necessarily indicative of cheating. In some cases, people may use codes or abbreviations for other reasons, such as to save time or to express a specific emotion or sentiment.

    It’s also worth noting that the use of codes in text messages is not a foolproof method of hiding infidelity, and may ultimately do more harm than good. If you suspect that your partner is being unfaithful, it’s important to have an open and honest conversation with them about your concerns, rather than relying on coded messages or other deceptive tactics.

    Overall, the article provides some valuable insights into the potential use of coded language in text messages as a means of hiding infidelity, but it’s important to approach this topic with caution and not jump to conclusions based solely on the presence of coded language.

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  2. Towards the ending of last year I used extra help from ethical.gurru {a.t} g.m.a.i.l com, to spy on my husband’s phone and email for some months without his knowledge and I have enough evidence now. Should I confront him or should I just get divorce? Do you think the court will support how I got my evidence?

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