Do we love too much, respect too little?

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Raksha Bharadia, the founder of Bonobology, an online portal on love, relationship and affairs candidly discusses an issue plaguing the modern Indian society and the couples who are in live-in relationships or marriage. The problem is we love too much and respect too little.

We Love Too Much And Respect Too Little

Table of Contents

Love and relationships and related issues have always intrigued Raksha, and she is always looking for answers. As a part of her research, she has interviewed many across the Indian subcontinent and abroad to discuss issues the urban Indian population face in their relationships. She met Dr Kushal Jain, a clinical psychiatrist and he narrated to her several instances were couples (married or otherwise) approached him for consultation.

Related Readings: 15 Signs Your Wife Disrespects You

His conclusion was, a deep-rooted problem that has engulfed the Indian society today is that we have learnt to love our partner so much, we are ready to cross all barriers for them, yet somehow we take them for granted and do not give them the respect that they deserve.

One particular instance that remained with Raksha was that of a married couple with a small child. The wife, who was prone to frequent mood swings, often used to degrade her husband by saying mean things which had little or no basis.

The husband indeed gave his best efforts to pitch in for childcare and domestic tasks to support his wife, who had a part-time job. However, he was put off very firmly whenever she treated him unfairly and disrespectfully. He became disinterested even in lovemaking with her and finally wanted a divorce. The wife’s claim was she loved him too much, and in fact, it was true.

Related Reading: How Saying Hurtful Things In A Relationship Affects It

She could indeed take a bullet for him if she could. However, love is not the sole basis to keep a relationship going strong and steady. It depends on mutual respect and companionship for many years. Readers, what do you think? Express your views in the Comments section below!

Expert-recommended solutions to deal with the issue

Striking A Healthy Balance Of Love And Respect

Achieving a healthy balance between love and respect requires conscious effort and understanding.

Recognizing the Value of Both: Understanding that both love and respect are essential components of a fulfilling relationship. Love provides warmth and connection, while respect ensures that each person’s individuality and boundaries are honored.
Setting Boundaries: Establishing clear boundaries is crucial for fostering mutual respect. This includes respecting personal space, opinions, and decisions, even when they differ from your own.
Open Communication: Honest and open communication allows you to express your needs and expectations, and to understand those of your loved ones. It helps prevent misunderstandings and enables you to address any imbalances in the relationship.
Active Listening: Truly listening to and understanding your loved ones’ perspectives fosters empathy and demonstrates respect for their feelings and thoughts.
Mutual Support: Encourage and support each other’s growth and well-being, both individually and as a couple or family. This includes celebrating successes, providing emotional support during difficult times, and respecting each other’s personal goals and aspirations.
Self-Reflection: Regularly reflect on your own behavior and its impact on your relationships. Be open to feedback from your loved ones and willing to make adjustments as needed.

Related Readings: How To Know If He Disrespects You? Here Are 13 Signs Not To Ignore

FAQs

1. What are some healthy ways to express both love and respect?

Healthy love involves setting boundaries, practicing self-care, and encouraging the growth and well-being of both yourself and the other person. Respect involves active listening, honoring boundaries, and acknowledging the other person’s autonomy and opinions.

2. Can you respect someone without loving them?

Respect is about recognizing someone’s inherent worth and treating them with dignity, regardless of personal feelings. You can respect a colleague, acquaintance, or even someone you disagree with without necessarily having love for them.

3. How can I improve the balance of love and respect in my relationships?

Communication is key. Talk openly with your loved ones about your needs and expectations. Be willing to listen to their perspectives and make adjustments as needed. Remember that relationships are a two-way street, and both love and respect are essential for a healthy and fulfilling connection.

Final Thoughts

The balance between love and respect is crucial for any healthy relationship. While love provides warmth and connection, respect ensures that each person’s individuality and boundaries are honored. When love outweighs respect, we risk enabling harmful behavior or neglecting our own needs. Conversely, when respect is prioritized over love, we risk creating a cold and distant atmosphere.

Striking the right balance requires open communication, empathy, and a willingness to adjust our behavior as needed. By striving to both love deeply and respect fully, we can foster relationships that are truly fulfilling and enriching for everyone involved.

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