The Dos And Don’ts Of Flirting At The Gym

Flirting at the gym isn’t the easiest nut to crack. Men think boisterously swinging the heavy weights around will get the job done, and women just want to be left alone. Even so, “we met at the gym” isn’t really a story you’ve never heard in the past. 

And since the hopeless romantic in you can’t help but dream up a future with that cute guy/girl you saw in the gym, you’ve landed on this article, trying to find anything that will help you on your gym flirting journey. 

Let’s be real, the odds are not really in your favor to try and get a date immediately. With that being said, however, you can still manage to break some ground, provided you know what you’re doing. 

Tips For Flirting At The Gym: Dos And Don’ts

If you’re trying to figure out how to flirt with a girl at the gym, the most important thing to remember is to not be creepy. Unfortunately, women are subjected to way too many bad pick-up lines and borderline harassment in the name of flirting. 

So it’s no surprise that when you try to aggressively approach her, all the while checking yourself out in the mirror while wearing your “SWAG” tank top, she already wants you to go away. In such cases, being respectful and delicate will help. 

And if you’re here to figure out how to flirt with a guy at the gym, the following dos and don’ts we list will apply to you too. Take a look at what works and what doesn’t, so that your flirting attempts aren’t reduced to yet another funny tale the person you were hitting on will regale their friends with over drinks. 

1. DON’T: Mansplain about “form” or “posture”

Yes, this one is mainly for the guys. How to flirt with a girl at the gym? Definitely not by turning into her self-appointed personal trainer. In fact, if you go up to her unprompted and explain the “proper form” for an exercise she’s doing, she immediately wishes you’d be erased from the face of the Earth.

Unless someone asks you for help, the general rule of thumb is to not show off your lifting knowledge. We know, it’s hard to not talk about what you learned from AthleanX the day before, but understand that nobody likes a know-it-all, especially when that know-it-all disrupts their sacred workout routine. 

Related Reading: These 15 Subtle Signs Of Flirting May Come As Surprise To You

2. DO: Be patient and wait for an opening 

Want to crack the code of how to flirt with a girl at the gym, or even a guy? Patience is going to be your biggest ally. You cannot go in guns blazing, talking about how you’d like to take them out on a date while they’re sweating and fighting for dear life after 20 minutes on the Stairmaster. 

A hint of eye contact on Monday, a smile on Thursday, a nod ‘hello’ on Saturday, perhaps a short conversation on the next Monday. Point is, don’t try to force anything. You’ll see the favorable gym flirting signs if you give it time. Only then should you swoop in and make a move. 

3. DON’T: For the love of God, don’t stare

If you think eyeing her up flirtatiously while she’s just trying to break a sweat is going to work, you couldn’t be further from the truth. In fact, make a conscious effort to not stare. This person is probably in their own zone, trying to motivate themselves enough for that next set, and being stared at all the while is just going to creep them out. 

And since no love story starts with, “I creeped her out so much, she just had to talk to me,” don’t stare. To all the creepy men who wear sunglasses inside the gym, on behalf of everyone who has ever existed: take them off, please. We know why you’re wearing them, and she probably already has 911 dialed up. 

4. DO: Establish a friendship first 

Did you make some eye contact in the Pilates class? Don’t just ask him about what he’s looking for romantically; establish a rapport through your common interest in Pilates. Are you CrossFitting? Talk about what drew you both to it. Are you doing calisthenics? Talk about why you’re in a gym to do things you can do in a park. 

Jokes aside, the point is to establish a friendship before you talk to this person more. Maybe even let a week or so pass before you ask for a number, unless things really do start progressing. 

Related Reading: 21 Signs That A Man Is Pursuing You

5. DON’T: Bother someone mid-set, it’s basically a crime 

Getting through a set requires grit, motivation, and a lot of willpower. When you’re halfway done, the excruciating pain that you’re feeling in your body is begging you to stop. But you know you need to squeeze three more reps out. You put your head down, pick up the weights again and you’re hit with, “Hey, just wanted to say you’re great and we should go out.”

Instant rage ensues. Not only did you have to stop mid-set, but you also had to take off your headphones and say “Oh, okay, no thanks” while trying to catch your breath. Great, the entire set is ruined. Forget the dumbbells, all you want is to pick this person up and throw them as far as you can. 

If you thought sliding into someone’s DMs was weird, sliding in and flirting with them mid-set is beyond creepy. You’re going to get the nastiest look you’ve ever seen in your life.

6. DO: Try to look presentable, but don’t overdo it 

Please, please don’t be one of those people who drenches themselves in perfume, effectively giving everyone else in the gym a raging headache. What we mean by being presentable is making sure you don’t wear torn clothes, looking approachable, and wiping your sweat off the machines.

Proper gym etiquette and gym flirting go hand-in-hand. The more you look like someone who looks after themselves, the more your gym crush will be okay with talking to you. 

Related Reading: How Gen-Z Uses Memes To Flirt

7. DON’T: Be rude 

As you can probably tell by now, common dating tactics apply to when you’re in the gym as well. Sure, being proud of the 245 you just benched is one thing, but being condescending about this person’s PR isn’t nice, and it’s not going to do you any favors. 

Try not to act as though your push-pull-legs is far superior to her CrossFit, or that the way you slow down your reps is the only way to go, and the person in front of you is hilariously bad at working out. Just be a nice person and share a scoop of your pre-workout snack with them or something. 

8. DO: Be nice

Want tips for flirting in literally any situation? Be nice about it. Compliment them on their workout for the day and tell them you can see a difference. Tell them it’s a nice thing that they look after themselves so much, and let them know you respect them for it.

Flirting in a gym is usually considered a no-go. People who outrightly “flirt” in a gym usually come in too strong, i.e., creepy. So, instead of coming in hot with a “Hey there, I’d like to take you out on a date” while they’re in the middle of their set, maybe start things off with a friendly smile or gesture. Now go get swole and hitched at the same time.

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