Author and poet Michael Bassey Johnson once said, “Cheating only thrills those who cannot see the beauty in faithfulness.” But the reality is, cheating has become too commonplace these days. In fact, a BBC article has clearly pointed out how, in a study, 75% of men and 68% of women have admitted to having cheated on their partners in some way or the other. Finding out infidelity isn’t easy in this digital age where evidence can be removed within seconds. This may leave you wondering how to catch a cheater that deletes everything. Well, we have all the answers.

In this article, we will delve into some red flags that your partner may be cheating on you. We will also offer some actionable tips on how to catch a cheater online and tell you how to confront your cheating partner if you’ve snooped on them. 

Red Flags That Your Partner May Be Cheating On You

While getting away with cheating may have become too easy (with the numerous cheating apps that also explain how cheaters hide their tracks), they are bound to leave some trace behind that will lead you to find out their infidelity. Now, we’re not talking about snooping to find out Facebook or Snapchat cheating evidence right away. We are talking about finding out if you need to snoop on them at all. 

Related Reading: Marriages And The Rise Of Infidelity

My friend Casey, a 25-year-old teacher, was super-suspicious about her husband’s behavior. When her husband started to stay back at his office till late for work, she assumed he was having an affair. She hired a private investigator, only to find out it was a false alarm and that he really was dealing with an obnoxious client who would schedule meetings at odd hours.

To avoid such situations, you need to know about a few red flags that indicate your partner may be cheating on you, such as these:

• A sudden need for privacy: A huge red flag that your partner is cheating is when they need a lot of privacy all of a sudden. They may start to hide their phone screens, set passwords on their cell phones, or log out of mail every time. How cheaters hide texts tells all about their motives
• They have a new interest: Now, while this may not always be a sign of cheating, it is possible that they may have taken up the interest to impress a potential affair partner. Be it the gym or the piano class, any new interest can be a red flag of cheating
• They over-explain: When a person is cheating on you, they may, in a bid to hide things from you, tend to over-explain. For instance, a simple “Why are you so late?” may elicit detailed answers, where they make up elaborate stories with names of colleagues and the work itself, instead of just saying that they had an important meeting
• They stay away from intimacy: Let alone sex, cheaters often stay away from gentle affectionate gestures, such as holding hands and kissing
• Their finances have gone haywire: Check their bank statements, and you’ll find they are over-spending. A little more scrutiny will show you that there are unexplained expenses at posh restaurants, florists, and gift shops
• They are always glued to their phones/laptops: This is an obvious red flag, in case the person wasn’t always obsessed with their phones/laptops. They may appear to be totally zoned out even when you’re talking to them

Why Do Cheaters Delete Evidence

Now that you know how cheaters hide their tracks, let’s come to why they delete evidence. It is common knowledge that cheaters hide evidence because of the obvious reason: they don’t wish to be caught cheating. But then, is there a deeper psychological reason behind this behavior? It’s possible that cheaters delete evidence so that they don’t have to go through the texts/conversations/proof that reminds them they have cheated. It could be their way of minimizing their guilt. 

A study proved that cheaters try to “minimize the significance of their infidelity as a way to cope with knowing they did something wrong.” Perhaps, deleting evidence is their way of deleting the obvious and ignoring the fact that they have cheated or that it’s something grave enough to hurt their partner.

Related Reading: Effects Of An Extramarital Affair On The Partner

12 Hacks On How To Catch A Cheater That Deletes Everything

There are times when you have a gut feeling your partner’s cheating but can’t prove it. A Reddit user had a similar experience: “I have found evidence of deleted text messages but I haven’t been able to find anything else and I need help/advice on figuring out the truth.”

Now, from our article, you know how cheaters hide texts, but you must be wondering how to be certain that they’re in fact cheating on you. With spyware that allows you to snoop and a host of online trails that a cheater leaves behind, it’s not that difficult to catch a cheater red-handed these days. Well then, let’s look at 12 foolproof ideas on how to catch a cheater that deletes everything:

1. Look for secret messages 

How do cheaters hide stuff on their phone? They simply embed secret messages/images in random files. If you can gain access to their phone or any other device, look for suspicious audio or image files or text message codes. Read up on apps such as OurSecret, which allow cheaters to hide sensitive files that appear to be harmless. They can only be opened using special keystrokes or codes.

Related Reading: When To Walk Away After Infidelity: 10 Signs To Know

2. Look for clues in shared accounts

You may be sharing quite a few digital accounts with your partner, such as:

• Online streaming services (e.g., Netflix)
• Internet plans
• Shared cloud storage
• Common mail accounts
• Common social media accounts

Monitor these from time to time for any discrepancy or suspicious activity. This is a wonderful solution if you keep wondering how to catch a cheater that deletes everything.

Cathy, a 36-year-old homemaker from Texas, shares, “My gut feeling told me my husband, Greg, was cheating. I found an obvious red flag when I found that our common mail account that we’d set up for our business was being accessed from Chicago when Greg clearly told me he’d be in New York to meet some clients. That’s how I found out he’d been lying and was clearly cheating on me.”

3. Catch them on social media

You may not have a joint social media account, but that doesn’t mean you can’t catch them cheating. Check their social media accounts for:

• New followers
• New friends
• Strict privacy settings
• A marked change in what and how frequently they post

Reah, a 28-year-old accountant from Minnesota, wrote to us: “My partner, George, used to post on Facebook almost daily. But a couple of months back, I suddenly noticed he had stopped sharing anything at all. I grew suspicious and asked a friend of mine to send him a friend request using a fake account.

Related Reading: Is He Cheating Or Am I Paranoid? 11 Things To Think Over!

“As soon as he added her, I got a call from her, saying she believed George had set his post visibility to a specific group and possibly kept out of it. And she was so right! She sent me screenshots of his latest posts, which I couldn’t see through my account. That’s when I knew he could be cheating behind my back.”

4. Look out for suspicious cloud storage

Has your partner suddenly been using a particular cloud storage with extreme privacy? Look out for online vaults/storage services such as:

• Keepsafe 
• Vault
• Hide It Pro

A lot of cheaters use these platforms as secret cheating apps to store and hide images and video content sourced from their affair partners. They function like any other usual cloud storage service, such as Google Drive, Microsoft OneDrive, and iCloud, but offer top-grade security and privacy.

5. Be wise while checking your partner’s browser history

No cheater, unless they’re dumb, will leave their browser histories intact. They wouldn’t want you to know if they’ve accessed cheating dating sites or adult sites for hookups. But, Google and other search engines of our age are wiser than your cheating partner. 

Guess what, you only have to take the pain of typing every letter of the alphabet on them for them to suggest the sites visited in the past. This is a great solution if you’re wondering how to catch a cheater that deletes everything.

Related Reading: 20 Myths And Facts About Cheating In A Marriage

6. Look for another SIM card

How do cheaters hide stuff on their phone? By simply using a different device or phone number to carry on their clandestine activities. Has your partner suddenly bought a new ‘work phone’ or got a new ‘work number’? And you really haven’t heard of any promotion or extra workload of late from them? Well, these are obvious signs he’s trying his level best to keep his affair miles away from you. 

7. Check their device’s trash

How to catch a cheater that deletes everything, you ask? Check the recycle bin of your common device or that of your partner’s system (if you have access to it). However, this will only work if the trash hasn’t been deleted forever. More often than not, you will find interesting clues (images, videos, notes, etc.) in the trash bin that may confirm your partner’s been cheating. You can also make use of cloud services such as DropBox that help restore files from the trash bin.

Related Reading: 20 Shocking Things Cheaters Say When Confronted

8. Access their password

This works on Google Chrome. If you have access to your partner’s device and if they’ve logged in to Google, you can easily track all saved passwords through the password manager. This sounds like a pretty easy hack, but it’s getting access to our partner’s system that’s the tough part.

9. Try hiring third-party help

If you’re done snooping and are still unable to catch your cheating partner red-handed, remember, the best way to catch a cheater is by hiring reliable and paid services. Many safe and discreet private detective services help you gain:

• Access to your partner’s call lists
• Their daily schedules
• Details of whom they are meeting
• Photo evidence of their whereabouts and activities

Related Reading:The 9 Truths About Lifelong Extramarital Affairs

10. Use tracking apps

With the ever-evolving ways of cheating in this era of tech-savvy cheaters, there are also a host of tracking and spyware apps that have flooded the market. Many of these offer features that allow you to track their call history, messages across platforms (WhatsApp or Snapchat cheating evidence), and their social media activity. 

Some can also send you screenshots of your partner’s screen and stay completely hidden from your partner while doing so. All you’ve got to do is gain access to your partner’s phone and install one of these apps. We’ve collated a list of some such apps to catch a cheater below:

• mSpy: This is known as the best overall cheating-tracking app
• Spybubblepro: You can access your cheating partner’s WhatsApp and other messages
• Spynger: This offers the best stealth mode
• uMobix: Its keylogger feature allows you to see what your partner is typing

11. Check your partner’s phone battery usage

Cheaters can delete all evidence of cheating but what they often miss is that you can easily access their phone battery usage. If your partner is using an iPhone, go to Settings > Screen Time > See All Activity. You will get a list of apps that have been used and the duration of use too. 

For Android users, you can go to Settings > Device Care > Battery, to check which app has been used for how long and the amount of battery percentage each app has drawn. Any suspicious or unusual activity in this regard can be proof that they have been cheating behind your back.

Related Reading: When Older Woman Younger Man Started Flirting On WhatsApp

12. Check your partner’s phone locations

GPS has made it possible to track your cheating partner’s phone locations easily. But is there a way to link your partner’s Google Timeline and cheating ways? How do locations help in such cases? Well, tracking locations can help you ascertain whether they’ve been lying. Here’s how to go about it:

• Checking the ‘previous destinations’ option on Google devices
• Tracking the ‘Google Timeline’ feature on Google Maps on Android devices
• Checking ‘Significant Locations’ for iPhone users. To do this, simply go to Settings > Privacy > Location Services > System Services > Significant Locations

How To Confront A Cheater When You Snooped   

Now that you have made use of the apps to catch a cheater online and have snooped on them to gather enough evidence that they have indeed been cheating, how should you confront them? How do you begin ‘the talk’? Well, even if you have figured out the best way to catch a cheater who deletes everything, you may be at a loss when it comes to facing them and the truth. We’d suggest that you don’t get too emotional about the infidelity and deal with the situation maturely and with some strategy in place. How? Well, below are some tips to face a cheater when you have snooped on them:

Related Reading: The 3 Types Of Men Who Have Affairs And How To Recognize Them

1. Don’t make it too sudden

How to confront a cheater when you snooped, you ask? Well, when you wish to have ‘the talk’ with your cheating partner, make sure you prepare them for the conversation and don’t just drop the bomb out of nowhere. Here are some tips:

• Don’t make it abrupt
• If you wish to talk, give them some time to think about what you’re going to talk about
• Say something like, “I wish to talk to you about something that’s been bothering me. Can we discuss this tomorrow?” to prepare the ground for the conversation

2. Be prepared for retaliation

Talking to a cheating partner will never be easy. They will try every trick in the book to avoid confrontation or owning up to their mistakes. Be prepared to be faced with:

• Counter-arguments: “And what about the time when I saw you flirting with your boss?”
• Denial: “No! I didn’t do that.”
• Ridicule: “Are you out of your mind? You must go check with a doctor.”
• Gaslighting: “I think you’re just imagining things.”
• Anger: “Why were you snooping on me?”

Related Reading: Understanding Post-Infidelity Stress Disorder – Signs and Recovery Tips

3. Communicate your concerns

Once your partner is over the initial shock, try and communicate openly about your concerns with them. Here are some tips:

• Have an open and honest conversation about how you feel about the whole thing
• Ask questions about what made them do this 
• Ask them if you could’ve done something to avert this 

4. Listen

The most important part of confronting a cheater is to listen to their concerns and explanations. You are bound to feel angered by their version, but here’s what you should be doing while listening to them:

• Stay calm: Remember, you are confronting them to find a solution to their infidelity and not to create more problems
• Avoid the blame game: Don’t indulge in blame-shifting in your relationship, as that might escalate matters
• Don’t use derogatory language: Avoid abusive language, as that may backfire and they too might start a bitter argument
• Avoid ridicule, sarcasm, and references to past failures: To make it easier for them to explain, avoid any judgment or ridicule. Also make sure you never refer to other mistakes from the past

Related Reading: Forgiving My Partner’s Infidelity To Reclaim My Life

5. Decide whether to move on

Once you have realized the root cause behind their infidelity, make a decision. Decide whether you wish to stay or move on. Consider the consequences and risks of ending the relationship, especially if there are kids or financial responsibilities involved

Final Thoughts

With these tangible solutions to your how to catch a cheater that deletes everything quandary, you will have definitive answers soon. But by snooping, you just get to the tip of the iceberg and realize that your partner has been cheating. Next comes the more challenging part of figuring out how to deal with this curveball. For that, you need to get to the core issues that have led them to cheat, introspect, and ask them questions. It won’t be easy but we assure you, you will pull through, irrespective of how you decide to respond to your partner’s choice to cheat.

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