Navigating relationships where someone develops romantic feelings while you don’t can be challenging. Knowing how to tell someone you just want to be friends without hurting them over text is essential to maintaining a respectful and healthy friendship. In this detailed guide, we’ll explore 15 expanded approaches on how to friendzone someone with kindness, clarity, and care, as suggested by California-based psychiatrist and cognitive behavior therapist, Dr. Shefali Batra (MD in psychiatry), who specializes in counseling for separation and divorce, breakup and dating, and premarital compatibility issues.

How to Tell Someone You Just Want to Be Friends — 15 Stellar Examples Of Letting Down Gently

Setting boundaries without hurting someone’s feelings is a delicate art. Whether you’re texting or having the conversation in person, these methods on how to tell someone you just want to be friends after leading them on (or from the start) will help you communicate your desire to stay friends while ensuring the other person feels respected.

1. Use the F-word (friend) early

If you don’t want to ponder upon how to tell someone you just want to be friends after leading them on, take this advice to heart. “The sooner you establish the tone of your relationship as purely friendly, the easier it will be to avoid romantic misunderstandings,” says Dr. Batra. By frequently referring to the person as a “friend” early in your interactions, you create a mental boundary between romance and friendship for both of you.

• “I’m so lucky to have a friend like you!”
• “We have such a good friendship—I really appreciate it.”
• “You’re honestly one of the best friends I’ve ever had.”

Using the word “friend” frequently reinforces your intent. This subtle yet consistent language sets the stage early for a friendship rather than a romantic relationship, letting them know where you stand from the beginning.

Related Reading: Can A Girl Have A Guy Best Friend And A Boyfriend?

2. Emphasize group settings

Wondering how to tell a guy you just want to be friends? Group activities are a great way to downplay one-on-one intimacy. By shifting from private hangouts to social events with others, you emphasize that your relationship is part of a larger group dynamic, where romantic intentions are less likely to flourish.

• “Hey, a bunch of us are going to grab dinner—want to join?”
• “We should organize a group movie night! It’s more fun with more people.”
• “Let’s invite a few more friends to come hiking this weekend.”

Suggesting group events steers the interaction toward a platonic relationship, making it clear that you’re comfortable in a social setting rather than intimate one-on-one encounters. It helps you figure out how to friendzone someone by removing potential romantic undertones.

Related Reading: Every Guy Has These 10 Types Of Friends

3. Discuss other crushes

A good tip on how to tell someone you want to be friends over text is bringing up other people you’re interested in. By casually mentioning your attraction to someone else, you help the other person understand that you see them as just a friend.

• “There’s this really cute person at work—I’m thinking of asking them out.”
• “I have a crush on someone in my yoga class. I’m so nervous to talk to them!”
• “I’ve been chatting with someone online who seems really cool—wish me luck!”

Dr. Batra says, “Talking about your romantic interest in other people signals that you don’t see the person as a potential partner. This approach on how to let someone down gently softens the blow, as it shifts their focus away from any expectations they might have toward you without you downright rejecting them.”

4. Play the wingperson

“Offering to help them find someone else is a clear way to reinforce your role as a friend, not a romantic interest. By positioning yourself as their wingperson, you not only deflect their feelings but also help them move on to someone else,” says Dr. Batra.

• “I know someone who’d be perfect for you—do you want me to introduce you?”
• “You’d totally hit it off with my friend from the gym. Want me to set you up?”
• “I have a colleague who’s single and seems like your type!”

This tactic on how to reject someone nicely is both clear and helpful. By showing that you’re interested in helping them find a partner, you firmly place yourself in the friend zone without being harsh.

Related Reading: 8 Ways You Can Be An Awesome Wingman For Girls

5. Compliment them neutrally

Compliments can sometimes lead to mixed signals, especially if they’re too personal. When complimenting someone, it’s important to keep it neutral—focusing on their personality or skills rather than appearance—to maintain a platonic tone.

• “You’re such a great listener—I always enjoy our talks.”
• “You have an awesome sense of humor—hanging out with you is always fun.”
• “You’re super thoughtful. I really appreciate that about you.”

By complimenting them in a friendly, non-romantic way, you avoid any suggestion of flirtation. This helps solidify your intent to remain friends and prevents any romantic misunderstandings from developing.

Related Reading: 15 Examples On How To Respond To A Compliment From A Guy

6. Share your weird habits

Opening up about your quirks and unflattering traits can help create a more relaxed, friend-like atmosphere. Sharing these aspects of yourself shifts the relationship away from any romantic expectations and toward casual, comfortable friendship.

• “I have a weird habit of talking to my plants. They keep me company!”
• “I always sleep with socks on, even in the summer—it’s so cozy.”
• “I binge-watch cheesy reality shows every weekend—it’s my guilty pleasure.”

Sharing your odd, less polished sides makes you seem more like a close friend and less like a romantic prospect. It helps them see you as approachable and familiar rather than someone to be romantically interested in.

7. Set boundaries early

A straightforward way on how to let someone down gently is to set boundaries right away when the person starts flirting or makes the first move. However, this should be done kindly, so it doesn’t come off as a rejection but rather a reaffirmation of your friendship.

• “I love our friendship—I wouldn’t want to complicate things.”
• “We have such a good thing going as friends. Let’s keep it that way.”
• “I really value our friendship and wouldn’t want to change that dynamic.”

Setting boundaries early prevents any potential miscommunication from escalating. It also gives you the opportunity to let them down gently while making it clear that friendship is your priority.

Related Reading: 15 Boyfriend-Female Friends Boundaries To Swear By

8. Talk about how you’re not ready for a relationship

Dr. Batra advises,”Being upfront about your personal situation is a great way to steer the conversation toward friendship.” Expressing that you’re not looking for a relationship at the moment helps the other person understand that your focus is elsewhere.

• “I’m just not in a place for a relationship right now—I’m focusing on myself.”
• “I’m taking some time to focus on friendships and self-growth, rather than dating.”
• “Right now, I’m more interested in building strong friendships than looking for romance.”

This approach on how to reject someone nicely is effective as it doesn’t make them feel singled out. Instead, you’re framing it as your personal choice, which takes the focus off them.

9. Share embarrassing stories

Not sure how to tell a girl you just want to be friends? Here’s a tip from Dr. Batra. “Sharing embarrassing or funny stories about yourself can break the romantic tension and create a relaxed, friendly environment. When you laugh together over your awkward moments, it shifts the focus away from romance and towards genuine friendship.”

• “One time I accidentally sent a love letter to my teacher instead of my crush!”
• “I tripped and spilled coffee all over my crush in high school—talk about embarrassing!”
• “I once mixed up a date’s name the entire night—it was so awkward.”

By sharing these stories, you show that you’re not looking to be seen as a romantic interest. It helps the other person feel at ease and more comfortable in the friend zone.

10. No touchy-feely moments

Not sure how to tell a guy you just want to be friends? Keep the hugs to a minimum. Physical touch can sometimes blur the line between friendship and romance. To avoid sending mixed signals, keep your physical interactions casual and friendly. 

• Stick to high-fives or fist bumps instead of lingering hugs
• Avoid resting your hand on their arm or shoulder for too long
• Keep any physical contact brief and playful, like a quick pat on the back

This reinforces the idea that your relationship is purely platonic and avoids any unnecessary confusion or misinterpretation of your intentions.

11. Leave out the intimate details when discussing past relationships

Wondering how to tell a girl you just want to be friends? Here’s a subtle way. When discussing relationships or crushes, make sure to leave out the intimate details or dive deep into the emotions you felt for them. This sentimentality may be interpreted as a hint that you’ve romantic feelings for the person you are talking to. So limit the stories to funny anecdotes or awkward dates. This creates a sense of openness while maintaining boundaries.

• “I used to have the biggest crush on my high school teacher!”
• “My ex taught me so much about relationships, even though it didn’t work out.”
• “I’ve had some funny dating experiences—like that time I spilled water all over my date.”

By talking about your past romantic experiences, you normalize discussions about love without making them the subject of the conversation. This keeps the dynamic comfortable and light.

Related Reading: My Crush Is Dating My Bestie And This Is How I Am Surviving

12. Highlight your friendship goals

Dr. Batra advises, “Instead of talking about couple activities, focus on what you can do together as friends. Create enthusiasm around friendship activities, which will subtly signal that you’re interested in building a platonic relationship.”

• “Let’s plan a Netflix binge session this weekend— just for us friends!”
• “We should do a game night soon. I love hanging out with my friends like that.”
• “Let’s do more hikes together! It’s the perfect activity for friends.”

Focusing on fun, friendly activities shows that you value the relationship in a non-romantic way. It encourages closeness without implying romantic interest.

Related Reading: 13 Benefits And 5 Struggles Of Marrying Your Best Friend

13. Use humor to deflect flirtation

Here’s how to tell someone you want to be friends over text if the other person starts flirting. Use humor to gently redirect the conversation. Humor allows you to hint that you’re not interested without creating tension or making the situation awkward.

• If they say, “You look amazing today,” respond with, “Thanks! You too buddy! *Finger guns*” (Or something a little less awkward)
• If they compliment you, say, “You’re such a sweet friend!”
• If they make a romantic comment, joke, “Looks like you’re practicing pick-up lines to use on your future girlfriend”

When wondering how to let someone down gently, humor is a great way to keep the interaction light and playful.

14. Introduce them as your friend

Here’s how to friendzone someone subtly. When you’re around others, make sure to introduce them as your friend. This reinforces your relationship status to both them and anyone else around, solidifying the friendzone.

• “This is my friend, [their name].”
• “Meet my good friend, [their name]. We’ve known each other for a while.”
• “Let me introduce you to my friend, [their name].”

Consistently introducing them as a friend reinforces your boundaries without directly addressing the issue.

15. Be honest but kind if it comes up

If the other person expresses their feelings, be honest but gentle in your response. It’s important to acknowledge their feelings while clearly stating that you value the friendship and don’t want it to change.

• “I really value our friendship, and I wouldn’t want to change that.”
• “I hope we can stay friends because our friendship is important to me.”
• “I’m not looking for a relationship, but I’m so glad we’re such good friends.”

Being direct but kind is how to reject someone nicely while maintaining the respect and care needed to preserve the friendship.

Final Thoughts

Knowing how to tell someone you just want to be friends without hurting them over text is about being thoughtful, honest, and gentle. Whether you want to use humor, set boundaries early, or share your quirky habits, follow these 15 strategies on how to friendzone someone with grace and respect. By focusing on building a strong platonic relationship, you can maintain the friendship while ensuring that romantic feelings don’t get in the way.

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