Love and attention are the basic emotions expected out of a romantic relationship. Most couples take these for granted, with one person basking in the glow of the other’s affection. But sometimes, there might not be enough love left in the relationship. You tend to look around and search for means to win that love back. Well, you’re in luck because we are here with some of the best tips to get his love and attention back in your life.
If you have to tell your man that you need love and attention in the relationship, then maybe it’s about time to reconsider the status of your relationship or take action to reignite the spark. If you feel the romance has dried up, then maybe you should take things into your own hands and reclaim the love.
10 Tips To Get His Love And Attention
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If you want to get your man’s attention and are not ready to give up on the relationship, you need to be strong. Being a doormat doesn’t earn you respect or love. There might be too many reasons within a relationship that lead to the lack of love. You need to diagnose the root cause and handle the situation accordingly. If you want to find ways to get your boyfriend’s attention, follow these tips and be prepared for him to fall in love with you all over again:
Related reading: How Do You Give Someone Attention In A Relationship?
1. Tell him what you want
Your first step must always be communicating what you need or want. Tell him that you feel neglected and it is affecting you emotionally. Wanting to get your man’s attention is not a lofty demand in a relationship. Tell him how things have changed between you guys. The attention and love he showered on you at the beginning of your relationship is now absent and you miss the way things used to be.
Maybe he wouldn’t understand or acknowledge it. Men seldom do. But you need to give him that chance. Often, men don’t realize how their actions can be impacting their partner or recognize that something is wrong with the relationship. So just try to improve communication in your relationship and tell him how you feel, clearly.
2. Dress up
He might not notice your pain or sadness but he’s sure to notice when you are looking sexy. So to get his attention, dress up a little. It also helps you feel good about yourself. But don’t dress up for him. Get dressed for a girls’ night out, for visiting your parents, or for an office party. This way you are bound to keep his attention on you.
He will notice the difference sooner or later. The change in your appearance can even leave him wondering why you’re suddenly paying so much attention to your looks. Are you having an affair? What about all the compliments and appreciative glances you may be getting from others? If this doesn’t make him insecure and shower you with love and attention, nothing will.
3. Don’t fake it in bed
Contrary to what men believe, women often don’t orgasm during intercourse. Most women don’t even get aroused if sex is not accompanied by love and attention in bed. But we continue to fake it in bed because we don’t want to bruise the man’s ego. Be blatantly true this time, it will surely help you to get his attention.
Don’t do it. Don’t make him feel everything is all right when it isn’t. If you don’t orgasm and the sex is boring for you, then get that message across. You can even go ahead and light a cigarette in the middle of the act if it is that boring. Once his ego is affected, he will surely be ready for conversation.
4. Make date nights compulsory
When he starts looking for a solution, go ahead and suggest the need to bring back the romance in the relationship. For doing that, make date nights compulsory. Be it fine dining or going to the movies, the idea is for you both to spend some quality time as a couple without the distraction of friends, family or children.
Dressing up, turning the phones off, and really talking to each other, the whole shebang. If he tries to work his way out of these, then you must tell him that you are thinking of walking out on him. It will definitely get him to toe the line.
5. Don’t let your life revolve around him
The best way to get a man’s attention is to give him none. Stop keeping your life on hold for him. Don’t wait for him to have fun or relax. If he’s not paying you much attention anyway, he won’t dedicate time for your pleasures either. Make him wait for you while you indulge in some self-love and pamper yourself.
Visit the spa, take a short trip for the weekend, go out with friends, and concentrate on your job – things that might have taken a back seat in your life as you were extremely preoccupied with him. Your frequent absence will surely be noted.
Related reading: How I Lost My Identity While I Was Busy Building My Husband’s Life
6. Don’t be eager to return his texts
Getting a man’s attention involves making him run a little. He’s not there when you need him, but once that phone chimes with his message tone you can’t wait to reply. Why? Why do you feel such an obligation? He has taken you for granted and he only texts you when he needs something. So make him wait. Once he doesn’t get your immediate attention, he’ll surely try to woo his way into your good books with renewed love.
7. Don’t accept empty apologies
Lack of love & attention in a relationship can’t be made up with a half-hearted apology for hurting someone you love. It is very easy to say sorry and not mean it. Ask him why he’s saying sorry, and only if you see that he’s truly remorseful about having ignored you, consider forgiving him.
8. Spend time away from him
It may sound counter-productive to spend time apart when you want nothing more than to get his attention. But hear us out. Sometimes proximity breeds monotony. In order to get his attention, try to spend some alone time or go out with your friends.
Visit your parents or stay with them for a few days. Your absence will make him realize your importance in his life all over again, and he’ll return to you with all his love and attention. If he’s into you, he will miss you and will want you back ASAP.
9. Healthy flirting can help
Healthy flirting is a fool-proof way of getting back your man’s love and attention. You can flirt lightly with other guys but make sure you don’t cross any lines. If he gets insecure and talks to you about it, then he is still invested in the relationship and is scared of losing you. He’ll surely sit up and take notice and be willing to make amends.
10. Convince him to see a couples’ counselor
If nothing works, ask him to see a couples’ counselor. Counseling can be a great way of resolving issues and opening up communication between couples. If he actually wants to sustain the relationship, he will agree to do it.
Dealing with a loveless relationship is not easy. Struggling to make yourself feel wanted is the worst feeling ever. Fortunately, most relationships have this phase. Do not worry about being the only one. Most of these relationships find their way out of the monotony by appreciating each other more than ever. When we are on a journey of forever with our soulmates, we hit a bump sometimes. But don’t worry. What doesn’t kill you will always make you stronger.
Be sure to keep these 10 tips in mind if you ever find yourself feeling unwanted in a relationship. With time and necessary efforts, we’re sure you’ll grow to appreciate each other again!
FAQs
A woman can intuitively understand what a man is thinking or feeling. If your guy isn’t being attentive to you, spending time alone or away from you, not engaging in conversations with you or doesn’t even want to get intimate; then things are definitely not right.
Falling out of love is a natural phenomenon that can happen to anyone, due to various reasons. But it is important not to give up hope immediately and end the relationship. If you both are understanding & mature, you can try to sort out the issues and your man can very much fall back in love with you again!
The reasons for the lack of love in your relationship can be anything and don’t necessarily involve another woman. It can be due to work pressure, mental stress, some action of yours which he might not have liked, or some other issue altogether. Hence, it’s best to talk about it like adults and try to resolve any differences.
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If only it was that easy my life has been torn apart. Thought I found a new love interest and that didn’t seem to work out and it only left me longing for my ex again. I’m beginning to think there is no one out there for me. Feeling lost and confused.
Hey! We understand what you have gone through is very difficult and how it has left you feeling devastated. But please don’t lose hope. Help is always available. Please mail us counselling@bonobology.com and we would love to help you.