What To Do On A First Date—20 Dos And Don’ts 

A guide to first date etiquettes

Dating experience | | , Journalist & Editor
Updated On: November 12, 2024
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First dates are a great opportunity to get to know someone new, but figuring out what to do on a first date can also feel challenging especially if social skills are not your strong suit. Whether you’re aiming to make a lasting impression or simply going on a date to enjoy the moment, we’ve curated some dos and don’ts to guide you in the right direction, ensuring you both feel comfortable, respected, and valued. Here are some practical first date tips to help your date go smoothly and naturally.

20 Dos And Don’ts To Ace The First Date

A first date evokes excitement, apprehensions and nervousness in most people. That’s because the pressure to get it right looms like a heavyweight on your chest. After all, it’s the first chance of getting to know a person you’re attracted to.

dating etiquette
 First date etiquettes

Being open and talking about yourself is great as long as you are not being a narcissist or a self-absorbed individual. At the same time, you need to focus on the other person and getting to know them too. It’s a tentative playground of wooing skills and the way you come across on a first date can make or break your prospects with a potential partner.

So, keep in mind these 20 tips on what to do on a first date to make sure you don’t make a bad impression:

1. Arrive on time

An ideal first date starts with both the people being on time. You simply can’t afford to be late on a first date. It shows slack and lack of interest and can put off your date. Moreover, your date might have something else planned for the rest of the day or evening. If you are late, their other plans might get affected and then there surely won’t be any second date for you. 

There is an acceptable waiting window – fifteen minutes, maybe five more if it was an important meeting you are coming from. If there’s an emergency, make sure to update your date. Don’t just leave them waiting alone. 

Related Reading: Mistakes Men Should Avoid When On A Date

2. Do not be self-obsessed

Yes, talking about oneself comes easily to most people. When there are moments of awkward silences, telling your date more about yourself and your life can seem like the better alternative. However, if you only keep talking about yourself, it can leave your date feeling invisible and unheard. Don’t break into a monologue on how much you love surfing on the weekends or that you don’t believe in charity and think it is just a hoax. This not only makes you seem conceited, but the other person might get bored of you on the very first date.

You may have a great job, a swanky apartment, have traveled the world, but you don’t have to put it all out there in one go. That would put off your date instead of get them interested. What not to do on a first date — don’t be a megalomaniac.

what not to do on a first date
Do not talk about only yourself

3. Pay attention to your body language

This is an especially important first date advice if you experience dating anxiety and are prone to nervous tics. Body language can reveal a lot more than words, often shaping the mood of the date. So what to do on a first date for a positive experience? Smiling, making eye contact, and maintaining open posture can help you appear approachable and interested. Avoid crossing your arms, which can seem defensive, and try to lean slightly forward to show you’re actively engaged. Positive body language builds a warm and inviting atmosphere, helping both of you feel at ease.

4. Do not be giggly or silly

First date etiquette requires you to exude a bit of confidence and charm. It is normal to experience first date nerves, which can translate into a tendency to smile more, laugh more and giggle more. Ever thought that it may make you look unnatural? You should avoid that put-on laughter and the constant giggle on the first date as it might come across as creepy or silly. You don’t want your date to think that you are being fake or trying too hard. So take it down a notch and be your normal self.

Related Reading: 11 Expert Tips On How Not To Be Nervous On A Date

5. Dress appropriately

When going on a date, dressing appropriately shows respect for both the occasion and the person you’re meeting. When figuring out what to wear on a first date, choose an outfit that fits the location and makes you feel confident and comfortable. Being well-dressed not only reflects thoughtfulness but also helps set a positive tone for the date. Remember, your attire should enhance your personality, not overshadow it.

6. Do not try to force a sense of humor you don’t have

If you have an inherent sense of humor, your date would absolutely dig that. However, If you don’t have a funny personality, our first date advice is to just let it be. You don’t need to look up jokes on the internet. Nothing backfires worse than a joke that’s not funny. If you are looking to have the best first date of your life, save yourself and your date awkwardness by steering clear of jokes if humor isn’t your strong suit.

7. Treat the people around you with respect

How to act on a first date isn’t only limited to how you treat your date but also other people. Your behavior toward others, especially service staff, can speak volumes. Being polite and respectful to those around you reflects positively on your character. Small acts of kindness, like saying “thank you” or holding the door, demonstrate empathy and consideration, qualities often appreciated in a potential partner.

8. Do not keep on drinking water

We are not asking you to die of thirst. However, first date dos and don’ts include being mindful of how much you eat and drink, which also includes drinking too much water. Frequent trips to the washroom does not result in the best first date and may send out the signal that you’re probably not having a good time and using it as an excuse to get away from your date. Plus, you can’t really talk to a person if all your attention is focused on bladder control.

And downing glasses of water might make you look fidgety and nervous. One of the simple but important first date tips we have for you is to ration your water intake.

9. Keep your phone aside

This is among important first date tips to act respectful. Keeping your phone out of sight signals that you’re fully present and focused on the conversation. Avoid checking messages or social media during the date; instead, dedicate your attention to your companion. If there’s an urgent need to check your phone, apologize briefly. Respecting their time and presence is important for connecting with someone.

10. Do not hog on the food

One of the most vital first date tips is — do not eat like a glutton. I have heard people complaining that their date or some person at their table was stuffing food in their mouth as if it was their last meal and the only thing that mattered to them. You may be a food lover, but that is not what you are there for, right? Enjoy the food, yes, but try to enjoy your date’s company more. Alternatively, you can explore best 1st date ideas that don’t involve food, such as a coffee date.

Related Reading: 7 Amazing First Date Ideas

11. Follow table manners

This is an important aspect on how to act on a first date. Good table manners are a sign of respect and refinement, helping to create a pleasant dining experience. Simple actions like waiting for your date before you start eating, chewing with your mouth closed, and saying “please” and “thank you” all contribute to a lasting impression. A few thoughtful gestures can go a long way in showing you value the moment and your date’s presence.

12. Do not ask private or personal questions

Wondering what not to do on a first date? Well, personal questions are a definite no-go territory. Avoid that by all means. Understand what constitutes good first date questions and what are some topics that you shouldn’t broach. It is absolutely none of your business whether they are a virgin or how many girlfriends they have had.

Asking such questions reflects a blatant disregard for the other person’s privacy while displaying a poor sense of boundaries. So beware and don’t let curiosity get the better of you.

Related Reading: Dating Etiquette- 20 Things You Should Never Ignore On A First Date

13. Keep an open mind

First dates are about discovery. So here’s what to do on a first date — keep an open mind about your date’s personality, opinions, and quirks. Avoid jumping to conclusions or making assumptions based on initial impressions. Embrace curiosity and allow yourself to learn about them without judgment. Staying open-minded is how to have a good first date as it encourages deep conversation and can often lead to unexpected connections.

14. Do not go on talking about your ex

One of the dating tips everyone should take note of is steering clear of the ex-factor on first dates. Your date is going to be so put off if you do this. Talk about your childhood, the cities you have visited, favorite television shows or movies — anything other than how amazing your ex was. (or how pathetic your ex was).

If you do keep talking about your ex, it’s only going to portray that you aren’t over them or that your past relationships are still affecting you in the present. And after that? No chance of a second date. No one wants to get into a complicated relationship. Going too far down the memory lane isn’t one of the best 1st date ideas.

Related Reading: 20 Valuable Tips For A First Date After Meeting Online

15. Respect boundaries

A perfect first date includes being respectful. Respecting both physical and conversational boundaries is essential to building trust and comfort. Avoid asking overly personal questions or engaging in discussions that could make your date uncomfortable. Pay attention to verbal and non-verbal cues, and allow the conversation to flow naturally. When you respect their boundaries, you create an environment where they feel safe and valued.

first date advic
Respect the boundaries of your date

16. Do not bring out a questionnaire

Here’s how to have a good first date — don’t make it an interview. We know you want to ask a lot of things and it’s good to be ready with a few interesting questions to know your date better. But we know of people who have actually jotted down questions to ask on a first date and turned it into a full-blown quiz. Put yourself in their shoes and see how you’d feel about that. Not too great, we bet. There’s your reason for why this should be avoided at all costs and is one of the things not to do on a first date.

17. Split the bill

Who should pay on a first date? The right answer is — both of you. Splitting the bill can be a thoughtful way to show mutual respect, especially on a first date where both parties are just getting to know each other. Offering to split demonstrates fairness and openness, allowing neither person to feel financially burdened. However, if the other person insists on paying or has a different approach, be flexible and gracious in your response.

18. Do not ask how much they earn

You may be curious about your date’s pay package. After all, it would tell you a lot about the kind of life you can envisage with them if things go right. But don’t blurt it out on the first date. Asking how much they make in a year or what kind of money they come from is actually offensive. It would say a lot about you though and not very complimentary. Any chances of a second date would actually go down the drain.

19. Follow up after the date

A thoughtful follow-up message shows appreciation and leaves a positive final impression. No matter if the date went well or if you felt it wasn’t a perfect match, a simple thank-you text conveys respect and kindness. Following up reinforces the connection and lets your date know you valued their time, keeping the door open for future possibilities if both are interested.

Stories about dating

20. Do not keep asking for a second date

Don’t keep asking, “When are we meeting next?” It will make you come across as clingy and needy. Enjoy the first date while it is on. If things go great, your date will be the one to call or text you later and hint at the possibility of meeting again. In case they don’t, you can always touch base later to make plans. But hold your horses on the first date.

FAQs

1. Are there strict rules to follow on first dates?

Though there are no stringent rules, some basic dating etiquette needs to be maintained so that you can both have a good time. Be punctual, keep the phone away, be courteous to your date.

2. Can I kiss on a first date?

There’s no rule to say you can’t, but do it only if your date consents. A soft peck on the cheek is always a safer bet than a full-blown kiss if you are not 100% sure that the other person wants it too. Also, the kiss (if any) should come at the end of the date, definitely not as soon as you meet.

3. How long to wait after the first date?

Ideally, a person might take 2-3 days to think over your interactions on the first date and eventually decide if they want to take this forward. If either of you hinted at plans for a second meeting on the first date itself, then feel free to take it up, but only after a short wait.

Key Pointers

  • Respecting boundaries, displaying good manners, and being polite sets a positive tone for the evening
  • Offering to split the bill shows fairness and mutual respect
  • Smiling, maintaining eye contact, and having open body language can create a welcoming vibe
  • Prioritize your date by putting away your phone. Engaging fully in the conversation without distractions to experience a perfect first date
  • A polite follow-up message, even if brief, demonstrates appreciation for their time and helps end the date on a positive note

Final Thoughts

Armed with these first date tips, you can hopefully make a favorable impression on your crush/potential lover. Calm down, take deep breaths and go for it. First date dos and don’ts are not to intimidate you but to help you have a good time and avoid making mistakes which blow off your chances at love. So go ahead and use this list to make an ideal first date.

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